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      Ask Questions About Love, Questions About Relationships

      By Guide

      It is said that the only stupid questions that you ask, are the ones you never asked. The sole intent of this section is so you may ask the burning questions you have desired to be answered. The answers to your questions about love and relationships may be given on this page, so please return to this section after a couple of days. It is also possible that we may take the questions you are asking and use them as a topic to write an article on. Whatever the case may be, we will attempt to supply answers that are useful to you.

      Often times people want to hear the answers the way they want them, that is not going to happen here. Be prepared to accept answers that are answered out of love. Love will not tell you what you want to hear, but rather what you need to discover. Sometimes the questions that people are asking are more complex than they appear, therefore the answers you receive may be multifaceted.

      Please note that the relationship questions you are asking will appear in ascending order, 15 questions per page, thus you will may need to scroll to the bottom of this page and click to the next page in order to see the question you asked about, as well as it’s corresponding answer.


      Topics: Love Questions | 158 Comments »

      After reading the love article, do you feel that you have personally benefited by the insight? Do you think you have benefited by a value of at least $5 dollars? It does cost money to run this web site, your gifts of gratitude would be greatly appreciated. Give until it feels good, Thank you for being a blessing!

      158 Responses to “Ask Questions About Love, Questions About Relationships”

      1. 1
        Francisca Says:

        I Love this man so much and i know he loves me too but he told me he can’t marry me because he is commited to someone else. This discovery has not changed the way I feel about him in anyway. Moreso, he continues to shower me with love like no one else has ever done to me before. You see, I can’t help but worry all the time that our relationship will end once he gets married. Please what do I do because I think it is better not to have hope at all than to have what looks like hope and it ends up crashing. Please I sincerely need your help. Thanks for giving me this opportunity.

        Answer: Hi Francisca and thanks for your question. The right person will show you with their words and their actions what you mean to them. If you were spending time with someone who was not showing you, by their actions, that they want to be with you, then perhaps the relationship is not what you think it is. Often times when we are involved with someone our emotions cloud our judgement, we want something so badly that we don’t accept the truth. This is one reason why it is good to have your dates meet your friends, your friends will see things that you may not see, because they are not emotionally involved. If someone truly cares about you they will want to be with you and only you. I would suggest you read
        Love Is Otherness

      2. 2
        Nisha Says:

        I love these articles, I am in love with guy from last 1 year. I met on the net, it’s online friendship, going with each other then we shared our cell number to each other we talk on phone 1 to 2 hour. we love to talk with each other, I love the way he talking with me.. he is humble and caring and; loving too. After some days me meet up personaly face to face. Then I realized that he is the man made for me only. We love each other so much. Later on the days gone.. day by day, he changed lot. He is a businessman starting new business so he hardly get time for me or something like that. His nature flow towards angerness, high temper, always fight with me on little stupid things.. And I’m always said sorry whatever thing happened with us, he never said sorry to me when I never made any mistake on that time. Afterwards things are going same like that. He always having time for his online friends and; in that friend list gals friends are huge in numbers.I always keep on telling him that you have so many gals in your friends list and; always ready to chating with them, and not only chating with them but also giving cell number to them.. I don’t know how he can do this to me. Please help me what can I do, how can I express my love to him and; how can I express what I want from him.. Please help me.

        Answer: In the beginning you say that you love each other so much, I hope that you did not become physically intimate with him. Having sex outside the context of marriage will open you up to deeper emotional ramifications. Temporary pleasures will only lead you to long term pains. Many men will put on a “show” until they get their lustful physical desires met. Please read the above answers to Francisca, it may be time for you to move forward, what you are missing is already missing you……..and you may not have “seen” them yet. I would like to suggest that you read Healthy Love Thoughts and then the article on Anger

      3. 3
        gaellemeb Says:

        Hi I wish to ask if changing behavior for someone you love but do not have you in mine is correct.

        Answer: I am not totally sure what you are asking. However, the one who first benefits in improving your character is you. So you should first seek growth for yourself, then your relational improvements will be seen by others.

      4. 4
        abhiruchi Says:

        I even don’t feel satisfied with myself. And I think that’s cause I didn’t have a healthy childhood. I have developed resentment for my family members that can never be healed and that makes me searching for an eternal love that make me feel complete. And I guess that all these things affects my relationship a lot. Should I practice meditation? guide me…

        Answer: Whenever things look down, look up! I would suggest you read this
        Relationship Article

      5. 5
        anamika Says:

        Hi, I’m in a relationship with a guy since 8 years. During these 8 years we’ve come to know each other more deeply than we used to do earlier. We respect and admire each other a lot. But we fight a lot too and that to over very small issues. Most of the time he gets very insecure and possessive over me, and that makes me lose my temper. Due to all these misunderstandings I’ve grown a kind of resentment for him. Moreover i feel attracted to another guy these days very strongly. I even told my boyfriend about that guy and we were about to break up. I feel guilty for my feelings and I don’t wanna cheat my boyfriend. I want to make my relationship more stronger and deeper without fighting and without being attracted to any other guy ever in my life……plz help me

        Answer: I suggest you read Honest Character Distinctions

      6. 6
        betty Says:

        How do I to satisfy my spouse, he is like 30 years older and am in my early 20’s?

        Answer: Satisfy? Trying to satisfy anyone can be unhealthy, I would suggest that you instead love each other. Perhaps you might consider printing this out so you can both read it together.

      7. 7
        losy Says:

        hi, I love the website very much. I’ve been in love with a man for three years now we were suppose to get married last year, but when his family proposed me they change their mind and they refused to go on with this marriage, and he didn want to disobey his parents, so till now it’s been a year and we still waiting for them to agree so we get married I dont know what to do??

        Answer: It sounds like you are in a culture that believes in getting the parents approval. My question to you would be, do you love him and does he love you? If you both love one another and you both want to be married then you should pray to God together, for God is the authority.
        It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you… Proverbs 29:25
        We are not trying to please men but God, who tests our hearts. 1 Thessalonians 2:4

      8. 8
        rosina klu Says:

        What kind of dress must you wear to attract your date most especially for long lasting relationship?
        Answer: Be yourself, dress for the occasions in conservative fashions.

        How would you know that your relationship would last long?
        Answer: That depends on both peoples character, but to know love is to know God.

        Is it appropriate to visit your date’s family if you have not been authorized by your date.
        Answer: That may be viewed as disrespectful.

        Lastly, how would you relate to your date’s family, especially the nuclear one, if they are not interested in your relationship with their son or daughter.
        Answer: Humbly with kindness and respect, don’t try to be a people pleaser though.

      9. 9
        Grace Says:

        Please I have been in a relationship for two years now with a loving and kind gentleman, but his brother is evil and he is trying everything in his power to break us up. I think it’s because he has not been able to maintain any of his numerous relationships. Even though the man seems not to be worried at all, I am. Please what can I do to turn this situation at hand.

        Answer: Pray to God, and tell Him how you feel, be honest with yourself and with Him regarding this insecurity. Attempt to express your feelings to your boyfriend in a manner that you know he will understand. Know that people who are full of jealousy and envy are of poor character. Please read the following on Character Distinctions.

      10. 10
        Stephanie Says:

        I have been fond of a guy that works with me for over 3 years and this year in May we started talking. He has a girlfriend and I was crushed but we promised to be friends. We have not been intimate and don’t plan to be but he told me that he has fallen in love with me and I love him too but it is the kind of love is mounted on respect and admiration. I feel as though he is the one for me and I am willing to wait but I am not gonna interfere in his relationship. Am I silly for thinking this way?

        Answer: If he loves you then he would only want to be with you. The right man will say I love you with a ring. Be careful that your hopes do not leave you open to an abusive relationship where he uses you for his physical desires.

      11. 11
        Edward Says:

        Hello, I am in a bit of a predicament. I met a special someone two years ago who was separated from her husband. At the time I was in a relationship myself and after a few months decided to end the relationship I was in because the married/separated woman and I fell in love. This woman has a child who a few years ago, (before her and I met), her and her husband sent off to live with her grandmother out of state because they were having so many marital problems.

        Well every time her daughter comes to visit, she tries to hide the fact that she and her husband are separated. She even goes as far as staying at the husband’s house (She claims that she stays in the guest bedroom with her daughter, and hopefully she’s telling the truth). Her daughter is not allowed to know who I am. To her I am just a friend of the family, and the husband does not know I exist. This coupled with the fact that it’s been 2 years and she has yet to file for divorce because of fear he brings upon her by threatening to attack her and take her daughter.

        I just don’t know what to do anymore. When her daughter is not in town, her and I spend all our spare time together. She does not even communicate with her husband /ex. I have even met her entire family and they know we are together. Right now I have to spend the next three weeks away from her because she has her daughter for that amount of time and wants to paint this image of family bliss to her, even going as far as staying at his house for 3 weeks!!! I have been in relationships with women with children before and have not had any problems with neither the children or the ex.

        I want to start planning for a future where I have my own family with her and her daughter, but she doesn’t allow me in. I don’t have any kids of my own and am past 30 years old and would like to start doing so. She tells me she wants to spend the rest of her life with me and is amazing to me apart from this issue.

        I’m to the point of cutting this relationship off until she files for divorce or finalizes it because it is begining to take a toll on my heart and mind. I really love her but find it difficult to get past this issue. Is it just me, or should I just move on.

        Answer: There is some deception envolved here, regardless of the depth of that deception it’s not healthy. Being separated does not mean one is not married. You can not marry someone who is already married. Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

      12. 12
        Mahi Says:

        i’ve met a guy in my work and we have been friends for a year now. however three months ago i felt like this friendship is developing. he felt the same too and he asked me whether i’m in love with him or not. i said yes. he told me that he likes another girl and he loves me so much and wish to be with me cause i’m the most one who understands him, but he really likes this girl. he talked to the girl and she said no. i dealt with him as a friend, a best friend and he treated me like no one else. any way i still love him and i don’t know whether he loves me or not. so i stopped calling him for 9 days. during these 9 days he called me 7 times. today he called me and said that he misses me so much and he really wants to see me. i met him and he kept on hugging me and kissing my hand. however i know that he didn’t get over that girl he likes. what should i do? should i keep on loving him?

        Answer: Not sure what you mean by “keep on loving him”, hopefully that is not in an intimate fashion. If he loves you he would only want to be with you, it actually sounds like he may need to get honest with himself first. How does he have feelings for one person and then switch those feelings over to you, simply by your answers to his questions? If a man truly loves you he can say so in the most meaningful fashion, with a ring!

      13. 13
        Donna J. Says:

        My fiance gets very angry with me when I express any type of negative emotions or thoughts. It could be about anything. Even things not related to our relationship. If I get upset about something and calmly try to tell him what I am upset about, he explodes and says I am attacking him. I feel as if I cannot talk to him about anything. He says I am ruining a fantastic relationship. He says it is my fault that he gets so angry and curses at me or yells loudly and hits things. I have tried to approach him many different ways, but I always get the same response. I just feel that my feelings aren’t welcome to him. How do I deal with his explosive anger?

        Answer: It sounds like you both may have some need to be honest with yourselves. When you are having negative emotions, do you know where the source of those emotions are? To deal with emotions and anger you need to have a better understanding of their primary source. Please read this article on Emotional Responses. I would also highly suggest that you have premarital counseling at your local church before you get married.

      14. 14
        evelyn Says:

        Hi, I’ve been in been in a relationship with my guy for a year and some few months now. Am 20 and he is 31 he promised to marry me when we met each other, which i accepted. But my problem now is, he has been puting pressure on me to perform the necessary rites. To me, i wish i could get time to complete my education since there are more ahead of me. But he’s still saying i can be schooling when we get married. Our parent know of our relationship, but my dad insist i should’nt rush because if i go and anything happens he has no hands in it. So as he is advising me not to rush now. Since am the first born to them and the only girl, and by God’s grace i have secured a business after i completed my secondary level, now looking forward to Tertiary. My dad job is not enough to care for my siblings so i have been help him all the time and at the same time investing my salary into my Tertiary education. My guy knows of this, but he is still saying all this will be shortened when we get married. I also adviced him to wait but he was saying i know longer love him. Some few months ago the relationship nearly came to a halt. During this time there is this guy i know who also showed interest in me and promised to help me financially and truly he has been help me till now. During those time i had misunderstanding between my serious guy n i, communication became very poor. And to confess this new guy who’s been supporting me and my family had an affair with me.
        I informed my parent about this new guy who promised to help me including my education, and they were willing to know him incase anything happens but i havent yet introduced him to them. because i heard he will be getting married with his former girl. which i asked and he told me its a lie. He is 28. I also confessed to my serious guy after everything has been resolved, that i had a guy who’s helped me a lot and also had an affair with during our misunderstanding. But i knew this gut long ago but didnt accept his proposal until i met my guy. I need your advice ugently please since i dont want to enter into anything and regret aftwards. And please if i may ask is it a big mistake i made in telling my serious guy that i had an affair with the other guy during the misunderstanding. I need ur advice urgently please.

        Answer: Sometimes we let our emotions and hormones do our thinking for us, and they are not adequate for doing so. Marriage is a life long commitment and you will loose some freedoms when you get married. It does not sound like you are in love with either guy, nor does it sound like you are ready for a meaningful relationship. I highly suggest you read reasons for marriage and intimate bonding.

      15. 15
        Angel Says:

        I love a guy, but he always tells about the girl he loved, at that moment I feel so much, but day by day love is increasing on him, my feeling never change for him. I always pray that GOD should help me. I take care of him so much. I love him…….

        Answer: In every relationship you have you will gain something, it may not always be what you would like. It sounds like, out of love, you are listening to him and comforting him, which is a wonderful thing. However, it does not sound like he is ready for a relationship right now. Please read Love Is Otherness and know that you may just be practicing love for now.

      16. 16
        Kia Says:

        i recently dated a married man. I knew he was married and although his wife left him and moved to another state that kind of made me feel better about the situation.However he left me once before and i choose to take him back and i did he now has left again . I am really hurt behind this but i knew that it was coming. For some reason i am not the only female that has been a victim to his selfishness. He always seems to come back, I guess what my question is that will he evenutally try to make his way back into my life and does he think about me and the fun times that we have had?

        Answer: If you knew he had a wife then you are not a victim of his selfishness. As long as someone is married they are not single. You set yourself up for your own pain by your own choices, you need to take ownership of that. Many women give themselves away prematurely, for the wrong reasons and they end up hurt, then they wonder things.

      17. 17
        Dizzy Says:

        Hi! I’m a 20 yrs old boy. During my first year, i didn’t care much about the girl in our batch in our college. Our college is far from our state and every year our state people have 7 seats there. So, in our batch we are 5 boys and 2 girls, and of course, there are other students also of that state only haha. Here I will only mention about we 7. There we stay in a hostel inside the university campus only, girls in girls hostel. We are like friends but I don’t talk much to our batchmate 2 girls during my first year, i mean compared to the other 4 boys, because it’s the first time we’ve known each other there, and they are from another department, i mean we’re in the same batch but not in the same class. We’re not like not talking to each other at all, I’m just saying compared to my other friends. My 4 friend’s sometimes use to make fun of me because may be I’m a little INTROVERT type. So, I think you can picture what the two girls may think of me. Whenever the girls talked to me, it was like they were making fun by talking to me, but i didn’t care much about them, but still i didn’t like it when they were talking to me in that manner. Whatever, as time changes, things also change. As we are students in the same college, they’re not like that all the time now including the other 4 boys. Now the girls are also serious when they are talking to me, i mean not joking all the time with me, they behave normal. During the middle of my 2nd year, I started liking one of the girls i mentioned. I think that somehow she may also understand that I like her because of the way I am when I’m with her. I mean I don’t act completely different, but you know when we like someone, it must somehow be recognizable for that person. She and her friend once gave me a T-shirt as present for my birthday in advance and it was during my second year. Maybe that was nothing because they gave it to other two guys also. Now it’s the starting of my third year, I don’t know she likes me too or not. I just can’t tell her, through my friend’s also because you know if I say this to anyone, everyone would make fun of me, I can’t trust anyone of them. So, it’s just me. Though I can’t see her most of the time, sometimes she seems to understand what i think about her, and she seems to like me too or say giving me a sign. But sometimes, she is like ignoring me, when we see each other with friend’s, she would just talk to the other’s. I can’t tell she likes me too or not. Because, sometimes she would come talk to me but sometimes she don’t seem to care at all. Frankly, I’m shy with a girl haha. Can you please tell me what should I do? Even if she likes me, what steps would I make to express my love not just in the way I act?

        ANSWER: First, it is dangerous to be concerned with what other people think of you. You are not defined by the opinions of other people, furthermore, people who gossip or make fun of other people lack wisdom. You seem to have some feelings of personal inadequacy, you would not feel that way if you had a personal relationship with the Heavenly Father. First seek the kingdom of heaven and then everything else will fall into place, including a love relationship.

      18. 18
        Gloria Says:

        I’ve been in love with a man on line for 6 yrs but yet he won’t come here please tell me what I should do?

        Answer: Your question lacks the significant information to give an appropriate response. Have you ever met this guy in person? How has your love developed for him? Does he know how you feel about him? Please read this communication article.

      19. 19
        chimps Says:

        hi..This is the first time i am visiting this site. Liked it..felt you mite help me. I met my fiance in college , were in relationship for 4 yrs now. i changed myself a lot for him, instantly i felt i was changing because i loved him. lately though i feel frustated, i feel he has taken me for granted that i will do whatever i say. sometimes i dont have a say in anything. till few months back i really wanted to get married and start my life with him. now the idea of living at least for an year in another country away from all the people i know appeals to me. Yes, but i still want to get married only to him. but i want him to understand me..the real me. i think i changed ..he doesn’t respect the fact that it should be from both sides. whenever i talk to him about this, he says i am unneccesarily getting emotional. how do i make him realize that i have my opinions, desires, likes wants….?? please advice. i am from India..(ASIA)

        -Thanks for your questions. First in changing or growth advancement you should first be doing that for yourself. There is a point where your efforts place him on a pillar; if you are seeking only to please him, and it is unhealthy. So seek to grow in love through knowledge and understanding, not to please other people. You might suggest to him that love looks to meet the needs of others and ask him if he can be attentive to your needs through communication. You will have difficulty in your relationship if he will not focus on you. Tell him, yes I can get emotional, and in order for you to love me you need to have understanding. Lastly you should not live together until you are married, he needs to show his love for you by respecting you, not using you for sexual gratification. You should both read the chapter 1 Corinthians in the bible.

      20. 20
        Karolynn Says:

        okay so there’s this boy I met and he means soo much to me. He really really likes me too. He said he wants me to be his first love. We both feel special around each other. But one night he started kissing around with this girl I know, and tells me. He said he didnt mean it to happen. I actually forgive him. Then we like hang out for the next couple days. On the third day I went to his house and we were laying down then we started kissing. The stupid part is that were not even together. The point is how do I hint him to ask me out again or how do I ask him out with out feeling stupid about it? And how do I tell him I really love and like him?? And he was my first kiss soo it seems even more special. Even when we were kissing I felt kinda uncomfortable. It was suposed to be so good. Then next time we kiss how do I make it feel more special than before?

        –There is a difference between feelings that have developed over time with love and physical lustful desires. You are more focused on the desires of your flesh than you are on building a relationship. Truthfully it sounds like he is only looking to fulfill his sexual desires. He is kissing someone else, then he’s kissing you, who else do you suppose he is kissing? Slow down and forget about the kissing, get to know the person and see if the person is really interested in you, in developing a relationship based upon friendship, or is he just interested in your “assets”.

      21. 21
        Brendon Says:

        Hi everyone. There is this girl that I really like. We’ve known each other for a while now and I love absolutely everything about her. She is amazing to me in every way and she is perfect in my eyes. But when we go out to do something, I ask her what she would like to do but she says she has no idea. She doesn’t like sharing what she thinks about much, if not at all. It’s kind of frustrating. I want to go out and do things with her but I’m not sure if that’s what she wants to do and that is the problem because she won’t tell me! Does anyone have any advice or anything that will help?

        You are the guy, take the initiative, get creative, think of some things you can do together in a safe environment that would be fun, but that would also give you the ability to talk with one another so you can get to know each other better. Do things that friends would do.

      22. 22
        Favour Says:

        We’ve been dating for 2 years now, he proposed to marry and i accepted his proposal. But my problem with him is that he is a temperamental type. If he is angry here, is like the roof will come down. He beat me up in any provocation, he is violence, abusive, impatience, and difficult, but i love him so much, i don’t know what to do

        I’ve talk to him about what i want, like, and detest, but all fall on deaf ears, there is no improvement, he keeps saying i should give him some time that he will change, but I’ve not seen the change. The worst part of it is that, he does not care about my feeling at all…..should i say he is not romantic……well i don’t know what to say cause he is not showing it.. Please let me ask this question; is it right for a girl to initiates sex?

        Answer: You should get away from this person and go somewhere that is safe, there is nothing healthy about an abusive relationship, nor is there any love within it. Secondly, you should never give yourself away, (have sex), prior to marriage, you should keep your self respect and dignity. Do not let your emotions fool you, there is a major difference between love and lust. You are not married, end this now before you really get hurt. Get a bible and read 1 Corinthians.

      23. 23
        ?Angel? Says:

        hey…actually i had boyfriend wid whome i carried on a relationship for around a year. i said yes to him not cause i loved him but i cause he needed me mentally…he was not at all of my type…i.e in physical appearence, academic, social behaviour etc….we used to have many fights..then i met older guy…who is now my very good friend…..i started feeling for him…he is just the person i ever dreamed of..slowly my interest on my boyfriend decreased…he did’nt like my friendship with him, maybe somewhere in his heart he knew is my kinda guy. then we used to have many fights…and i ended the relationship by giving an excuse that my studies are getting affected due to it. but i know this fact that he loves me truly. was my decision correct?

        Answer: I do not know what you said yes to him about, hopefully that was not in a sexual context, you should maintain your dignity. It really sounds like you ended the relationship because of the fighting, and it takes two people to fight, not just one. So the question here might actually be what was the source of your anger? Now in one comment you say he was not your type, that you did it for him because he needed you mentally, but then you say that your interest towards your boyfriend slowly decreased. Your comments are not congruent, you might need to do some introspection.

      24. 24
        ?Angel? Says:

        actually…he is good, nice by heart…bt i was with him because he needed me…i never had intrest in him. there was no sexual act between us. we always maintained a distance. how can i get in engrossed in sexual act with someone i dont love, but slowly i realised that i also hav my life. if i’l nt care about my intrest den who’l care. moreover he was just so possessive. he did’nt liked me even talking to my friends or even my brother. that was something i cant digest. bt on the whole..i knw this thing that he loves me more than he loves his family. but my friend relaised me that i should live for my self and not for others. so i broke up with him, giving an excuse that my academic performance is getting strained. i know i hurted his feelings, i’m feeling sorry for him. On one hand my dreamboy is standing infront of me who is now my best friend…he cares for me alot and on the other hand a guy is standing who loves me internally coz i was my ex- bf dream girl. please guide me what to choose????

        First, this is poor advice from your friend; “but my friend realized me that i should live for my self and not for others.” Love is not self centered, we are all here to learn to love, that is what life is all about. If you truly want wisdom, insights, and sound judgement, I would suggest you start reading the bible, it will help you to know what love is and more importantly where love comes from. Other people can not choose the partner in your life, but we can direct you to wisdom.

      25. 25
        AUBREY Says:


        It is true that no single person can give you all the love you need, you do need other people in your life, life is all about relationships. For understanding purposes you might need to look deeper to find out where the insecurity or possessiveness comes from. Has he been hurt previously by someone who was away for a period of time? Why don’t you suggest to him that you both go see the movie Fireproof this week, while its still in the theaters. You might consider getting this DVD set and watch it together, its really funny but full of sound relational wisdom.

      26. 26
        Judy Says:

        I knew this man since childhood. We started talking on-line, then on the phone, (phone sex),
        we live many many miles away from each other. We did met again after 40 some years and have feelings for each other. I want a relationship. How to do this with the distance and not make it casual sex. We both are single and in early 60’s what is your advice? We talked about living together too. We both had been married for 40 so years and are new to this dating….we do have our faith. what to do?

        -The answer to your question is supplied through the articles in this website, there is a difference between a meaningful love based relationship and one of casual lust.

      27. 27
        ron Says:

        what do i tell my girlfriend who just broke up with because of a fight?

        You first need to accept responsibility for your side of the issue, do you know what that is? Then by example you can say, I was wrong in this aspect, and apologize for your side. Real love is honest, real love endures, real love extends grace, it makes room for allowances, real love is not selfish, and real love forgives.

      28. 28
        j Says:

        How do you get someone back that has devastated in past relationships and now has a fear of commitment and losing complete control? Is there anything you can do to combat that. At this point she won’t even talk to me. She says she fell in love but then realized she could not commit.

        -Faith is the opposite of fear and you can not walk in faith unless you walk in love. Her past pain has not been forgiven…….. Love is patient and kind, so don’t pressure, leave an opening for her by letting her know that you are available. Most significantly though, she needs the Love of Jesus more than anything else.

      29. 29
        Gaz Says:

        im a 17 year old that has recently had a extremely harsh break up with my ex girlfriend, she cheated on me while i was in the army, due to my depression i left the army an have lost confidence towards asking people out and telling if they like me or not. 6 months ago i met a girl that made me feel more different than any other, an ever since we have been in touch over the phone, we met up for a 2nd time at a gig, on the train i thought she wouldn’t recognize me but she knew me instantly and she apologized several times for her appearance (not wearing make up) the night went on very well, there was a guy she knew who’s 25 an he constantly tried to get into her and i felt like ive got no chance but yet again i notice she wasn’t paying attention to him an wasn’t hugging back. I asked her if she was enjoying the night and she said she’s loving it an gave me a hug, i asked her if she would like to spend a day together to get to know one another better, she did agree. i phoned her today (26/11/08) we have arranged to go to another gig on the 7th of December and she said she would possibly like to do something with me on new years and spend a separate day together. it just a matter of hope that she will stick to her word, she is very pretty but it was her personality that got me, shes very funny and kind, i don’t like talking on phone for long but with her i last hours, she always seems happy to hear from me an when shes able to answer her phone its almost instantly. Im just worried because she’s a very popular girl and i bet many other guys are after her and it brings me down that i cant see her as much because of my apprenticeship and her busy lifestyle but im prepared to do all i can. From what i have written in this message does it look like shes showing a sign that she may possible like me, if so then how, please i would really appreciate a reply and thank you so much for reading.

        -You’re ego, (confidence),took a hit from the last girlfriend, young guys do not tend to handle rejection very well, but its actually something to grow from. Don’t let that bother or intimidate you, that girl was not the right one for you. The one you speak of now seems quite interested in you, relax and get to know her as a friend. Don’t rush in, take your time, you have much of your life ahead of you. Look for someone who you can have a life long relationship with, and control your hormones.

      30. 30
        Brenda Says:

        Hi, I am in a relationship that has been 6 months, and sometimes I feel like he is serious, and sometimes he is not. I know that he does not want to get married, and I know that when he retires he wants to move to the country Panama. We have been honest with each other, and we are straight up with things. Do I just continue the relationship and hopefully he will get over his commitment fears and want to get married, or what?

        – Nobody can make your decisions for you, your choices are yours. Most people really think that they are honest, but it’s generally not so true. If someone really loves you, don’t you think that they would want to make a commitment based upon that love? Be honest with yourself when answering that question…. Don’t allow your emotions to make your decisions, use your brain, not your feelings.

        Most guys will tell you that they love you because they WANT SOMETHING. If they really love you, let them obstain from sex, get a ring, and walk down the isle of matrimony with you. Think these things over, its your life and its your choice….wisdom will save you a heart full of pain.

      31. 31
        0047 Says:

        I’ve stayed with this girl for almost five years now without sex. I do and show all the
        love and care she could ever need. I’m not sure if she really or truly loves me.

        -Have you expressed your feelings for her verbally? If so, how did she respond? Communication is important, after 5 years you should know her pretty well. What do her actions show you? Do you love her enough to make a loving commitment to her through engagement?

      32. 32
        teenmeen Says:

        im 21yrs old and i go to a medical school, there is this staff member who is 37yrs old. he is one person who always supported me thru my thick n thin without even asking for anything. he is basically a very dignified man and doesnt entertain undignified girls and he keeps students to their limits, everybody knows about it…but people say and even i felt that he is a completely different person when im around..he behaves in such a sweet and a kind manner always concerned about my studies, my health, my emotions and feelings. whenever he finds me low he calls me n asks me. whats wrong? is there any problem, you can share it with me and when i do share my problems he even advises me which really work………..he also tells me to beware of so and so students they will backstab u……i dont know why he does all that for me, he never asked for anything in return, he is married and has a 3yr old daughter. he gave me the best marks in the entire class though i deserved it, but there were so many people more who derseved it but they didnt get it………people think that we both are goining around. all that is nonsense..he lately said to me that im a very beautiful girl, very delicate, he said i resemble to angelina jolie……i was surprised he usually doesnt say like this to any girl…if i dont listen to him he says if your dad says you will do it and if i say you dont listen to me…he never ever tried to use me in anyway…i dont know why is he so good to me because a person like him being so good to a student is surprising. when everyones goes against me, he is the only person who stands beside me….and recently a junior of mine who was appearing for her exams fought with me and used all sort of abusive words for me, i was sooooooo hurt, i cried alot and he got to know about it, he just asked me to take it easy….but you know that girl failed in his subject, whenever i ask him why did she fail. he changes the topic…he said to me about all the other girls whom he and his colleauges failed but never discusses about this female………..can anyone tell me what does he feel for me? do you guys really think he failed that girl? if no why isnt he telling me the reason when he can say about other girls why not her.. and last week he was in my college bus he messaged me saying that he would drop me home, so that we can talk actually i was a bit upset about a particular issue and then after discussing my problem with him i felt relaxed, next day he asked me to come over his hospital if i was not goining to college, so i went there and again i shared my problems and for the first time even he shared his family problems, i felt as if was unhappy with his married life..after dat discussion he again dropped me home even though i said i would take a cab but he didnt listen…….please tell me why is doing this 2 me…….why is he being soooo good to me..HE NEVER TRIED TO USE ME

        Answer: As a member of the staff it sounds like he is going beyond his limits, it also sounds like you have developed some feelings for him due to his actions. Be careful not to allow your emotions to cloud your judgement here, the man is married. You should not be spending your personal time with a married man or a member of the staff. To get involved with a married man is likely to leave you with much heartache. Take Heed, You need to keep a boundry line of integrity here for your hearts sake.

      33. 33
        J Says:

        I’m deeply infatuated with my best friend “the Kaptain”. (“Kaptain” w/ a “K”, how cool is that?) I’ll never forget the first time we met. At the time we both worked for the same company. One day I was running an important request for a guest & as I turned a corner in the hallway I literally ran into “the Kaptain” spilling coffee all over his shirt & pants. That chance encounter sent fireworks throughout my body. Over time our relationship blossomed, in part to our similar taste in music. Unfortunately, our careers took separate paths but our love of music became an excuse to occasionally meet during lunch. I’ve never been able to declare my true feelings for him because he’s married. However, it’s to a woman that’s given more rides than Greyhound. Can I justify declaring my love to him because of her promiscuity? I tend to consume copious amounts of alcohol daily to drown my feels of inadequacy which is multiplied by the fact that I’m unemployed. If I continue down this path I’m afraid I’ll never find happiness.

        Answer: Happiness can never be achieved through other people, it can only be enhanced by others. Waiting around for a married man is not a happy place to be, God has someone in mind for you, but you need to follow His ways. Often times people use alcohol or drugs to cover up issues deep within them, the issues never get resolved, and the pain only gets worse. Your feelings of inadequacy come from not knowing how much God really loves you. Please Read This Article. Put God first in everything, and everything else will come together.

      34. 34
        Rhonda Says:

        I am living with my fiance. I am ready to ‘settle’ and get married. He has not yet made that committment. But why would he ask me to live with him, if he wasn’t ready? We have been together for 4 yrs, going on 5. Am I wrong to ask “where do we go from here?” Also, He just lost his father, and I found out and confronted him about going online, and watching porn, and webcams, and chking out the personnals. I asked him, if he had no intentions of meeting someone, why would he do that, and hurt me like that? I would like to know where we go from here, but im not sure he will be committed to me (as I have been with him). I want a lifelong relationship with him forever, but I don’t want to push it, especially after his father just passed away. SHould I ask?

        Please read Living Together Before Marriage and Reasons For Marriage, and Sex Before Marriage.

      35. 35
        Tim Says:

        i have a big problem. i am 38 and my wife is 28. i have been married for almost 3 yrs. my wife and i just had a baby 6 months ago. we had been dating for 5 yrs before getting married. i work at a store and a couple years ago this woman came in and i got to talking with her she is divorced with a daughter. i thought she was beautiful (i mean beautiful like the girl i had been waiting for my whole life) but i am married so i tried get her out of my head. but i kept thinking about her, she would show up here and there at the store then she was gone. about 6 months passed and she showed up again but my wife was very pregnant. we talk alot at work when she comes in she has told me that she is attracted to me but since i was married that she would just stay friends with me. i have been talking to her alot more recently and told her that i have had the same feelings for her but we have not done anything except hug. i dont want to cheat on my wife because i dont want hurt her or my daughter, but i think i am falling in love with this woman. i know it is wrong but i cant help my feelings. years ago before i met my wife, i fell in love with a girl we were together for 3 months i thought she was the one, it was love at first sight, (she broke up with me). a couple years later she was killed in an accident. that made me think about how life is too short to not be with the person you love. i feel that im not sure i want spend my life wondering if this woman is the woman that i am meant to spend my life with. i feel i want to get to know this woman better. but i dont want to cheat with her (because it would hurt my wife) i dont want her, the woman, to think that i would cheat on her (if we ever were to be together). i know it sounds like my morals are all screwed up. my wife and i have not been intimate more than three or four times since she got pregnant. and not alot before she was either. there just doesnt seem to be any attraction in bed. it seems more like we are room mates. neither one of us seems to want initiate sex. i am in a dilemma i feel like i am being torn apart on the inside.

        Answer: There are things missing in your current relationship, your needs are not being met and your current wive’s needs are probably not being met either. You talk about feelings, but feelings will often lead you astray. You do not think with your feelings, (or your hormones), you think with your brain. Love is not about how someone makes you feel, it’s not all about you, love is something you give to others. You are being tempted, and if you allow your feelings to overcome you, you will probably loose the most important thing you have, your family. No relationship is perfect, it requires love and actions of love. I suggest you turn away from that temptation, and seek to put God first in your life. Go get the book called Love Dare and read it before its too late!

      36. 36
        CJ Says:

        How do you know that a man in your life is interested in you?? If there is nothing but respect, encouragement, prayer, Bible study, fellowship, telephone calls, supporting each other verbally, being there when they have a need, as in encouragement. So tell me just what kind of statements or actions that support his caring, when it has not been stated verbally?? Christ is first, no exceptions and that brings about otherness.. Just curious…..

        Answer: Sounds like someone is touching you with the Love of Christ. As you know, from your own workings, people can love without having personal motivations. However, someone who has a personal interest will show it on a more personal level, (at least at some point). Beyond verbal expressions, the actions might be more like that of a dating scenario. Has he asked you out? Has he sent you flowers? Does his actions show a personal interest of getting to know you at a more personal level?

      37. 37
        ms confused Says:

        my ex boyfriend and i broke up a week ago. he’s been secretly going with this girl for a month while he was still in a realtionship with me. do you think he does this for attention or was i the problem? do you think their relationship will last?

        It does not sound like he loved you, and it sounds like he may be a bit selfish. Don’t give yourself away prematurely to any guy. Wait for the guy that wants a serious relationship, and this way you will sift thru those who are lust driven.

      38. 38
        beauty Says:

        i got my boyfriend i resently meet.okay his my age and his the man of the build i wanted. my problem is he met me with my 2 kids n i have to lie bout the one i have when i was a baby.now am renting my own place his staying with his own, but my problem is he just dont want to give me financial. i also dont want to ask him, coz i dont want to loose him. but although i know his expecting me buy everthing even rent. the 2nd boy is not staying with me he stay in my atha house in eastern cape. i only have 1 month with this man, i dont know if he really love or using me. coz thats what his friends think of him.

        Answer: Sounds like your relational foundation is skewed. After knowing this man for one month you are considering asking him for money for your rent? And you don’t know if he is using you? You are not being honest with him, honesty is a significant part of any relationship foundation, you don’t have to lie, it’s your choice to lie. What would he be using you for, sex? You should not give yourself away prior to marriage, so if you think he is using you for sex, why have you chosen to have sex with him? You may have developed a lust based relationship, but you have not developed a love relationship. Build a foundation of friendship with honesty, and refrain from the physical aspects.

      39. 39
        LEE Says:


        Answer: I would suggest you spend time with him in person in a place that is safe for the both of you, it takes time to get to know someone and build a relationship. I would also suggest that you attend a premarital seminar at a church together, or at minimum get premarital counseling at a church together. It will do you a world of good!

      40. 40
        jon Says:

        i was dancing with this girl at a party about this past weekend (saturday). i ask what was her name, okay i had the guts to ask her and i am kinda shy guy. we danced like 3 songs then she if we could rest i said okay. then like a few minutes later she left and i forgot ask for her number or a myspace or even an email. the next day i found her myspace. what should i write as a comment? or is it to late?

        Answer: To overcome your shyness, (fear), do the thing that the fear is preventing you from doing. Yeah make a comment, perhaps something like how much you enjoyed dancing with her, and let her know that you would like to get in touch with her. Don’t worry about rejection, rejection is just a deflection to another direction.

      41. 41
        CT Says:

        Hello A while back i met a girl named Sherin on Christmas Eve at church. We started to talk a lot and in the end we really fell in love with each other. She is currently in med school and really busy now. Many times she is busy busy and she has told me that she loves me a lot, but lately I have grown to be really in love with her now to a point where I miss her a lot after a 4-5 hours. I cant call her because she is in the library. So i don’t know how to get rid of this. Will someone help me to as what to do?

        Answer: There is probably an aspect in this that is helping you to learn to control your emotions. You may need to acquire an ability to temper your anxiousness. I would suggest two things, first put more focus on your relationship with God and his word, and talk with her about contacting you on her breaks. Let her know that you would like to hear from her during the day.

      42. 42
        Charlie Says:

        I have a cousin who had dated girl for a year and the last 3 months of that year the girl was dating another guy without telling him anything of the relationship even though they were just friends. Was that wrong for the girl not to inform him of that relationship out of respect and consideration for the original guy and the relationship?

        Answer: Dating for a year just as friends seems a bit odd. It’s not wrong to date more than 1 person, however it does say something about her interest level in him. She is not married to him, and does not have to be faithful to him. As long as she is not using him or leading him on in the wrong way I would think its alright, but there is some information here that we do not have. If she is giving him the idea that he is her only boyfriend then there is an issue.

      43. 43
        Aettam hashbury Says:

        I found this girl who i didnt know and she was only 16 but we just clicked well. We hung out all the time and I really started falling for her. She cheated on me and left me in like the first month but them came running back and said she made the biggest mistake of her life and she loved me, I told her I loved her n then everything was goin great for like a month and half and she said it just wasn’t working but I knew it was cause she wanted to be with other guys. She said we could just be friends but she still kissed me cuddled with me and hung out with me every day. One day I made her commit and that lasted like a whole 2 days. Then she said she didn’t love me anymore and we shouldn’t see each other again. We kept in contact through text and then like 2 weeks later we hung out and then she kissed me. The next day she made a mistake and that she never wanted to hear from me again. I made the mistake of sorta begging and writing love letters. Now its been like over a month and she says im her, whats so crazy and wants me to leave her alone. We used to talk every night for like 3 hours and i know there was something there special, i really loved her and I put her first even before me and would do anything for her, what should I do.

        Read more articles on this site, love does not bounce up and down like a yo-yo, it is steadfast. Uncontrolled emotions can be dangerous for you, protect your heart, it is the wellspring of life.

      44. 44
        josie*sweet_gurl Says:

        hi..my guy broke up with me for a reason im confused to he said that i should not expect anything from him anymore that he didnt love me no more. he said that in cellphone but not in person..but we broke up personally..all i didnt know is that they still have a communication with his ex..they used to get along without my knowledge and just heard it from my friends..i was hurt of course because he didnt tell for a reason that maybe i will get mad. but im not allowed to do that things hed done.he had lied to me countless times in which i just tolerated..until a day came that he said he wanted a rest and we broke up.. i was hurt because i was the one that was blamed..my question is, is his feelings had gone so easily? we’ve ben together for almost 3 yrs..and in that yr, i felt his love with me but then suddenly he just gone off and leave me with a confused mind..will he come back to me or not? is his words true or just lie again? and will i expect from him or not? im fine now but there are just days i can think of him..i wanted to start a new relationship but im afraid. i called my ex last time trying to fix our relationship but he just said move on..and let go because he will not return in my arms again..it hurts but i accepted it. please help how to get rid with this feeling anymore…tnx..

        Answer: Many guys will tell you what they think you want to hear in order to get what they want. We have all been fooled by fakes, however wisdom will protect you from the immoral man or woman. It sounds like you bonded at a fairly deep level, did you have sex with him? This is one reason why God says to wait for marriage, so you don’t get hurt. I would suggest that you seek the wisdom of God, by reading the bible, by spending time and getting envolved in healthy groups at church, and also seek out Godly relationship books or advice before seeking anymore relationships, past or present.

      45. 45
        Eunice Says:

        A long time ago we fell in love. He was everything. We really communicate. The relationship was very intimate, no sex, but most of the things I have read on your site about how true love is. He said I was the only woman for him so he wanted something not founded on sex. Much later(after 4 years) my first lovemaking was with him, I wanted it to be so, to show him how deeply I felt for him. He did something quite silly, I was young and foolish and broke off, I thought he’d come looking for me to make up, but he said he was too hurt and confused. He left the country. I also moved to another location and fons were not easily available then. We lost touch completely. After university, I went to the country where he was. I made every effort to find him, not knowing he was working temporarily in another country. I left a message which he got 2 years later. I had already left that country. I married someone else because I got pregnant. 3 years ago, a mutual friend told him where I was, he came looking for me. Turned out he’s on his 3rd marriage because he was never satisfied. All our old feelings are back and even stonger now. Although we’re not in the same country, we communicate sometimes several times a day. He comes to see me every year he’s on leave. I have two kids and he has two (with different wives). The current wife knows about me and our relationship from way back and even now. My
        husband knows nothing. We cant and dont want to break up. I have had some serious issues with my husband (his family, affairs, attention, sex, behavior etc) sometime and i have been contemplating divorce, before this man came back into my life. My husband says he’s happy . but I am not. I tried better communication and a lot of the things you have said about improving relationship, but my husband says all is fine with him. Our sex life has virtually dried up. We hardly talk about us. I stopped loving my husband long ago. I now live in a different location
        because of work and go home as often as possible. It is the same with my lover. Our feelings are mutual and deep. We love and care about each other and we always express our feelings to one another. We talk about never letting go of what we have again. I have read most of the
        articles on this site, and I know we both married for all the wrong reasons, and no true friendship or other ingredients for a happy lasting marriage. Otherwise we should not be feeling this way towards each other. I dont know what to do.

        Answer: I am certainly not going to tell you what you want me to tell you. You should not quit on your present relationship just because you have something else going on that you “think” is better. By your own words you say you have stopped loving your husband, that is a choice you made. By your own words you said that your friend is on his 3rd marriage because he was never satisfied. The single biggest reason for divorce and relational issues is selfishness. He has not been satisfied, because he is focusing on himself. You are not loving your husband, instead you are looking to have your desires or needs met somewhere else. I really think that you both need to learn what love is and how to love. Love does not focus on oneself, love looks to meet the other persons needs. Life is about learning to love, it’s not about seeking to get what you want. Though you both may have married for the wrong reasons, it does not stop you from making it right now. That does not mean to run off with another man every time it does not go the way you wanted it to. It means that you will need to get some wisdom, to learn how to love, how to stick it out, and learn to resolve the issues in your marriage. Are you praying for your marriage? Are you seeking out Godly wisdom? Do you read the bible? Are you going to church?

      46. 46
        Stephanie Says:


        Answer: Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.” Genesis 2:18
        …but for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him. Genesis 2:20
        So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:21-25

      47. 47
        karen b Says:

        if my husband openly fondles two other womens breast in front of me and licks another ones leg in a seductive way in front of me should i not feel disrespected.

        Answer: If that happened, it would show selfishness, utter disrespect, and ingratitude. Perhaps some bitterness, recentfulness, or actions of revenge? The questions I wonder about are, has this gone on before? What do you feel brought on such behavior? Do you respect yourself enough to stand up to the issue? A suggestion here might be that you go to a safe place, perhaps a family members home? Read the bible, Gods word has much to say about immorality. Seek wise counsel at a local church, & keep yourself in a safe place.

      48. 48
        gloria v. Says:

        how can i be with someone that i love, but he does not. He says he does, but he still takes to his x-wife, what can i do?

        Answer: Honestly, to love him is to be unselfish. I would suggest you first seek the Kingdom of God, read the bible, go to church, increase in wisdom, and let God bring the right person into your life.

      49. 49
        Mckenna Says:

        There’s this guy I really like. We’ve been talking. I like him, and he knows it, and I think he likes me too. He thinks I’m really pretty and everything. We were talking on myspace, we text, and everything. But why does he suddenly stop answering my message, he only reads it. Why why why?! I want to continue talking to him but I just don’t know what to say! Help.

        Answer: Contrary to popular belief, looks are not everything, they do not make a relationship. It’s not what you look like that counts so much as what you really are deep inside. It’s hard to get to really know someone in the text world, you need to actually speak and spend time together in safe places. As to what to say; how about “it would be nice to hear from you”. Then wait to see if there are any actions, God will bring you the right person if you have patience and follow His ways.

      50. 50
        Lebogang Says:

        I totally love this website i relate so much to what is said here. anyway I’m so in love with this guy his slightly older than me though and everytime i see him i get butterflies in my stomach. however, he has another long-term girlfriend whom i know he loves, he doesn’t do anything for me. if/when i’m broke he’s the last person i’d ask..i sometimes feel used by him, he always takes me to meet his friends but never his family and i slightly feel like a trophy girl. i love him so dearly what should i do?

        Answer: The words that are never spoken are never heard. What do you think you should do?

      51. 51
        demetrius Says:

        OK, i love this girl at my school which happens to be my friend as well, i knew her and she knew me for a while and she knew me we just never really talked until like the 2nd, 3rd and 4th quarter of school. My best friend and i just got done talking to her again and i gave her a hug then she walked away and i said “i think i love her”, then i said “i want to go with her” and he just started laughing, then we went to class. That same day he came back to me and said, “she just asked me if you like her” and she said she thinks she likes you but shes not sure 100% because she still doesnt know me all the way. My feelings for her keep growing every time i think of her, i love her. oh yeah i just got dumped by my ex like 2 days ago, shes bi so she left me for a girl and the whole time she was cheating on me (her best friend had to tell me cause she didnt want to). But anyway i really love this girl at my school and i cant get her off my mind.

        Answer: This is called rebound and infatuation, so you like her, you are young and have much to learn about real love, read the bible. So what is stopping you from telling her that you like her? Your in the guys position, take the lead!

      52. 52
        Taka Says:

        There is this guy i like at school. I confessed to him once through letter. His answer let me down though. he wrote ” i’m sorry, i have no time for girlfriends. ” i understand that, but its natural for me to get sad over that.
        So after a few months after the confessing, I still talk to him-through letter. But there were two letters which he didnt reply. The first unreplied letter i wrote something about ” i understand that you dont have time for love. I didnt ask for anything. i only wanted to tell you that i like you. Besides, i dont dare love again. ” the second one i asked him if he gets irritated if i send him letters. I asked that question once a few days before he started not replying my letters. He said no. it was fine. In that letter ( the second unreplied one ) i also apologized if i had written anything that he finds disturbing.
        I felt sad because he didnt reply so i thought somehow he hates me or something. But My friends kept telling me that whenever he pass me, he’ll look at me. They also told me that when he read the confessing letter and passed me, he kept looking at me and was smiling all the way.
        When i found out that was true, i didnt know what to say. But somehow he acts as though he doesnt like me. whenever his friends and him pass me, his friends would tease him and somehow push him near me.
        There were many things which he does that made me confused. when i’m behind him, there will be a few times where he will look back at me. And when i looked at him, he would always turn away. This happened everytime. And when my friends tease him and lied to him that i wanted his number, he would blush and mumble something like ” what? ” with a clumsy smile.
        I’m confused. help me ?

        Reply…….Go talk with him.

      53. 53
        nano Says:

        hi i’m 24 single, i think im in love with this guy i met at collage. i have feelings to him that i’ve never felt to any other guy i met but the thing is when ever we try to be together in a relationship he just disapear for a while last night he said that he is scared of commitment , but he said that he’s so attracted to me and he want to be with me but every time he said so the other day he, not there and he never. i know that he doesnt love but what im sure of is that hes the only man i love.

        Answer: When a single person makes a commitment, they will lose some freedoms that they previously had. Attraction is not love, it can lead to love thru friendship and companionship. He may need some time to resolve this issue within himself, so you can be patient. However, that is not to say that you should sacrifice your self respect and dignity for sex outside of a marriage commitment. Don’t give him what he wants physically thinking that it will keep him, that is a losing battle. Many men will take the sex if you give it and still not make a commitment.

      54. 54
        john Says:

        hi i only have a question… i think im in love with bestfriend and i think she likes me 2 but i dont know how to ask her out?

        Answer: I would really love it if you would join me for dinner tonight.

      55. 55
        john Says:

        ok so here’s the deal i have been dating this girl for about 9 months now. i am going to be a senior in highschool and she will only be a sophmore. here recently we seem to be running into alot of problems. for instance we argue alot about all kinds of stuff but basically it’s jealousy i guess. she acts like she can’t stand my jelousy and she thinks it might lead to a breakup. we are as serious as it gets and i dont want to lose her. i ahev been in alot of relationships and i have BEEN with alot of girls and his one is the only one i have ever felt this way about i mean i love her to death. but she has got friends that don’t like me that call her all the time and want her to come to their house and i know these girls are hoes. she doesnt go but whenever i like want to do something she doesnt want me to she threatens to go and stuff. also she plays for the school basketbal lteam and they go off and stay in hotels and stuff on trips. they are on a trip right now and have been gone for 6 days within this 6 day period she has probably called 4 times and talked about a total of 40 min. i didnt want her to go anyways because she has been known to get drunk with her buddies on these trips. before she left she told me that there wouldn’t be any guys there because she had been there before and they weren’t any ther. but when she got there and called i heard guys talking while she was in the lobby and i told her about it and she gets mad and we argue. but what i dont get is she goes and runs with those ball girls and stuff but she doesnt want me hanging out with my friends. also i was gonna go somewhere on vacation this sumer but she doesnt want me to go because she says i will cheat on her but i wouldn’t. and i told her what do you expect you run all over with the ball team staying in hotels with guys and stuff but you dint want me to go to the beach with my friends and their PARENTS MY GOD. so she like threatens me that she would break up with me if i went on vacation too. i have swallowed alot of pride for her and im willing to swallow alot more but here last night she was all like “i don’t care” when ever i told her that i was gonna talk to girls seeing how she had talked to guys with her buddies up there. so my question is do you think she wants to break up? and if i can avoid this and make this relationship better how do i do that?

        Answer: You are both young and have room for character growth. You say you are willing to swallow your pride, so I say to to seek wisdom, Read Proverbs in the bible.

      56. 56
        Carol Says:

        I have been living with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and haven’t felt really comfortable when it comes to sexual relations outside of marriage. Well, now I find out that he is into bondage and S&M and other fetishes. What can I do? I have already told him that I do not feel comfortable when it comes to those things and he continues to seek his pleasure in it. He now just tells me to leave the room. That I need to do something on the computer for him.

        Answer: Although his self seeking pleasure is an issue, the real issue is much deeper than that. Not in judgement, but for your own information; you can’t live in a place of sin and expect sin not to be present. In order to gain the respect of others, you must first respect yourself………..in order to do that, you need to wait for marriage before having sex. And you can’t do that living in this place where you are at. Look, love is not self centered, not self absorbed, real love will wait, because real love is far more than lust.

      57. 57
        Janis Says:

        I’ve been seeing a quy for 2 1/2 years now. We’ve both said “I love you” and your are my “soulmate”. The problem is, he has also been in and out of a relationship with another woman for 27 years. He has cheated on her many times. I know what you will tell me. Get rid of him. We fight all the time over the “other woman”. He says he doesn’t want to hurt her. He says he will tell her when he’s sure our relationship will work. He wants to get back to all the good times. I’ve tried to tell him thay I can’t get back there unless I get a complete commitment from him. I can’t get the other woman out of my mind. It’s always there. Am I crazy?

        Answer: (Realize I am a man) You are most likely allowing your emotions to do your thinking, understandably so, but you need to use your brain. You fight because of your insecurity in the relationship. You are insecure, because you do not have a commitment. True love commits, it does not leave the fire escape open. You will have conflicts in any relationship, that is because each partner is imperfect. It is through love and maturity that you get beyond those issues. So he says that he does not want to hurt her? Excuses, excuses, so he would rather hurt you instead? And he says he wants to make sure it will work with you? How can it work with you when he is two timing you? Do not sacrifice your self respect for someone who does not respect you. Do not allow yourself to be played, and do not give any man the honey until you have been married. Many guys will take the honey if you give it, and then like a bear, only come around again for more honey.

      58. 58
        Lily Says:

        This all happened when I was 15. I had never been in love and didn’t plan on falling in love when I met this guy. (16) We met, by his best friend and became a couple. In the beginning of the relationship, I wasn’t all that into him because I didn’t want to get hurt. I thought that just because of his looks that he was automatically a player. I ended up giving him a chance and falling head over heels for him because I found out that behind his “player” looks, he was a really good guy. We had it all. There was love, passion, fun, everything! We would talk all the time, hangout, ect. Yes, we’ve had our ups and down.. revenge.. lies.. but we managed to stick through it. Occassionaly we got in fights, that lasted less than a week but we would always end up going right back to where we started.

        But now, lately, ( 2 months) he seems to not love me how he used to. He used to always call, always use little cute text messages, always make me feel special. Now, he doesn’t do any of that. He claims he loves me, I try to believe he loves me, I hope he loves me but I really don’t know if he loves me.

        When I call him, he seems more annoyed than excited. HE IS TRYING TO KEEP ME HIS. Now he’s not doing it for any “excitment or pleasure” because he can get that from any girl he wants, so I think he really loves me. I really love him and want to be with him, sometimes I try to play hard to get, sometimes I try to really act like I like him, IVE TRIED EVERYTHING. I don’t want to be the boy in the relationship anymore, he says he is acting the same but really he completely changed.

        I don’t want to let him go because I really want to be with him and I’m pretty sure he wants to be with me but I don’t understand what is going on.

        I know I am a girl and everything but how is it fair for him to always get to go out everywhere with his “boys” and I can barely go anywhere with my “girls” without being accused. By the way it’s been 2 years nows.. we still are together but I’m 17 and he is 18. We’re growing up and I don’t see where we are going. What do you guys think? What happened? Or what do you how do you think he feels? Please Help !

        Answer: All too often guys quit doing the things they once did because they feel that they have already acquired the “reward from their hunt”. And, that they no longer have to continue, because they have already obtained the “prize”. Many do not realize that they need to continue to show affection and express love. On your side, you are looking to get needs met, and you sound as though you are insecure with your relationship at this point. Now, I have to ask you this question, have you had sex with this guy?

      59. 59
        Corey Says:

        I have a BIG girl issue and need alot of help?
        I met her when she joined the robotics team this year. Now I liked her from the get go. Her personality is phenomenal, she’s smart, funny and attractive. But anyway…( before you judge harshly she’s truly a great girl but has relationship issues…) She has a bf but DIDN’T SEEM to like him too much when i met her. She would always talk about him and her and their issues as well as her personal problems. She USED to be a “cutter” and I talked to her about how it was wrong, but I didn’t yell. I just calmly talked her out of cutting herself. I added her as a friend on facebook, exchange cell #’s and we found ourselves talking to the wee hours of the night or all day about random things… mainly questions like comparison questions. She was chosen as well as me to go to Georgia for the robotics competition, so we go and I sit next to her the whole way down and up.

        When we were there in GA, she was really flirty. I was a little, but not much since I had respect for her current bf. So my “friend” decides in his mind “hey I like her too so I’ll try to take her from “me”” So he starts flirting with her while down in GA as well. So I told her, look I sorta get jealous that Greg’s semi- flirting with you. So she told me look I don’t see us ever going out, he’s just not my type. So i said ok, and forgot about it, yet he pushed the issue and continued to flirt with her. It aggravated me to no end to where I had to pull him to the side and tell him how it’s bothering me.

        He CLAIMED to “understand” but well see that he didn’t in the future later in the message. Her bf finds out that she was kissed by another guy and he dumps her for one day. She begs for his forgiveness and they go out again, then ever since she hasn’t talked to me much at all and if I send a txt message she ignores it half the time? So, back to my “friend”… he ends up kissing her when i clearly told him to back off. I know she’s not my gf yet at all, but there is a “rule” for being a friend. He knew I liked her and he still tried. The main question is idk what to do at all? She’s at band camp for the whole summer and I’m sorta afraid to call her about it or talk to her when she comes back. I WANT TO but she seems like she would get upset about it all. She told me once “IF” one day her and her bf break up, I’ll have a possibility with her.

        Now I know that sounds a bit sluttish but she’s not a ****. I know it. She’s just flirty. I really care for her, and talk to her as nice as i can. When I see her it’s like the freakin highlight of my day =] But I also don’t know if I can see a future with me and her because she don’t talk to me much anymore? please refrain from saying to move on. I know i might have to, but still I honestly love her. It’s hard to explain.

        Many have already said to forget her, but I can’t seem to. I’ve tried for 4 months now. I really don’t want to is the problem. I’ve tried not texting her for weeks and it didn’t seem to phase her. But according to others that know her bf, she’s not talking to him much at all neither… and he’s cheating on her while she’s gone at camp! She did tell one of my friends in GA when we were there that she would be so much happier with me rather than him. But she didn’t do anything to break him off. Once he broke off, she came running back? i don’t get it? To this date, he HAS broken up with her. His twitter always talks about how much he don’t like her anymore for cheating on him. Supposedly while she was down at band camp. She kissed two guys. Aghh.. I have no reason to be mad at her since she’s not mine. But anyway he treats her terrible but she’s blinded by this “love” for him she has. But see idk if she cares alot for him anymore because her twitter used to talk about how much she “loved” him and missed him, but she don’t tweet that anymore?

        Now she has texted me recently a few days ago about her coming into town for a show with band. She asked was I going? I replied saying “hell yeahh lol”. She replied are you really? I replied to that saying “yepp”. Now, here’s the tricky part… She replied saying “Sweeeett I’ll get to see you then. Remind me the day to give you my opening set so you can follow me lol” I don’t know what this means? Maybe I’m looking too far up, but from what it sounds like, it sounds like she wants to tell me something and see me for something. “considering she don’t text me much anymore remember”

        My most recent situation is that my friend “which is her best friend” told me she didn’t like me anymore =[ Then I asked my friend did she really say that to you ? and she said “NO i just think she don’t anymore” So I still don’t know, but that text sounds interesting =] maybe?

        So in conclusion, sorry for such a long question. But I tried to shorten it and couldn’t because it would loose detail. I just love her sooo much… So my questions are

        1. What do you think I should do about this?
        2. Should I tell her how I really feel or should I just be friends?
        3. Whats your opinion on rather she likes me or not?

        Additional Details:
        They have only been together for 4 months, and yep they are broke up now, but for the record they have broke up several times, but he claims this is the final straw.

        Answer: We want our answers our way, and it does not work like that. This girl seems to like attention, perhaps due to a poor relationship with her father. You are so smitten with infatuation that she could lead you down all sorts of alleys, and you would ignore all the warning signs, and end up in a pool of mud. Chances are you would not listen to wisdom even if you heard it, your emotions are making your choices for you, not your brain. Even if you do go out with her in any way, it will not last, she is going to continue to seek out attention from other guys. So, she might kiss you one minute, and then kiss someone else the next, how are you going to feel then? Finally, with any girl, you need to be making the moves, not asking others if she likes you or asking them to ask her out for you because you are worried about rejection. You are young and have maturing to do, to get wisdom and understanding for your life, read proverbs in the bible.

      60. 60
        Anitta Says:

        I’ve been with my ex fiance for almost a year, and we almost had our apartment finished, we were going to get married in october 2009 or january 2010, however, I had a issue of anger management before in the begginning of the relationship, and I’ve solved it and we were good, we were so in love, like a fairytale, but when some problems occured in our lives like any regular couple, he used to burst in anger and then later blaming that I was the one who initiated this whole thing in him, so it seems like he didn’t totally forget what I did before, but I was mistaken and he forgave me, why do I pay more than double the price, however things accumulated really terribly and I told him to break up, but I was too angry, however he took it serious and we met and then we chose to end the relation in peace. I love him so much and I want him. But he would turn me down, even if he is missing me.
        Should I move on? or should I wait till things get better then try again.
        Please advise. Thanking you in concern.

        Answer: Everybody gets angry from time to time. There is a reason for anger though, sometimes it is justified and sometimes it’s not. You say you resolved your anger, and so I wonder just how it is you did that? It sounds like you both need to get an awareness about anger, where it comes from so that you will have better control of yourselves. But also you need to be aware how past hurts effect your lives in the now, and how true forgiveness plays a factor. Nobody can make your decisions for you, but the best resolutions begin with understanding. When you understand your anger you will understand others anger, I would suggest you begin by reading proverbs in the bible. Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom, seek it out and acquire understanding.

      61. 61
        Shawn Says:

        I am 20 years old this year, Male. Recently my colleague, who is 17 confessed to me. However, we had known each other for slightly more than a month only. And she was currently still attached, although she was saying that being with her current boyfriend is very stressful and she wanted to break long ago, but her boyfriend keep dragging on.

        Taking her words for it, i told her that we should know more about each other first. However, when we get to know each other more, I start to have feelings for her. The problem now is that she will be having her major Exams in like 3 months and if she were to go into a relationship with me now, it would surely affect her Exams.

        Furthermore, there is another colleague who likes her. He was already told by her that she liked me but he continued to try to get her. And they are now like meeting everyday because he works part time and i work full time. So he actually have the time to not work and instead go out with her to ‘coach’ her in her studies.

        I tried to bring up the topic of going into a relationship with her but was told by her that she does not want one now, i understand but i am afraid that if she were to keep going out with this guy, she might start to fall from her.

        Also, recently, i was told that in the past, her boyfriend changes quickly. She will easily like someone. This can be due to the fact that she comes from a broken family and when someone showed her care and concern which she lacked, she starts to develop feelings for him. She is now telling me that she wont go into a relationship because she do not want to affect our friendship ( That guy and I ).

        However, she once told me before that in the past, she did not take relationships seriously, however, she is really hoping to take relationships seriously now. So do i trust her on that?

        Sorry for the long essay but my doubts are that
        1) Should i continue to allow myself to like her more and more? Or should i move on?
        2) If i should, what should i do with that guy? Its obvious that if he continues to like her and not give up, me and her cant be together.

        Answer: First, she is only 17, she is not of adult age, (red flag). The way it sounds, is that she does like attention. Is the old relationship done now, or does she still have a boyfriend? Even if you were together, what is going to happen when she goes out with others, or flirts around? Don’t allow your emotions to do your thinking.

      62. 62
        joeie Says:

        can a male and female that are cancers have a good relationship to together.

        Answer: I do not go by astrology, I would say to seek God and His ways first, and let Him connect you with the person that is best for you.

      63. 63
        vickie Says:

        Im 41, female and Im living with a 49, male. He has been seperated from his wife for 2 years but still has not finialized the divorce. we have been dating for 11 months and I moved in with him and have been living together for 8 months. He has a daughter 24 that has her own family and own home. I have 3 children 8, 10 and 13 that live with us part-time. My daughter moved in to his daughter old bedroom and my sons moved in the guest bedroom. His daughter has stressed over the last 3 months that she is having a hard time with Katie being in her room. It is her room and always will be. I have not been able to decorated this room for my daughter as the man Im dating is also afraid to how his daughter will react. I say she needs to grow up He says he cares a great deal for my daughter but that room will always be Rachels. Im ready to end this relationship over this. But it seems so silly. I love this man and want to spend the rest of my life with him but I am torn about this bedroom issue. What should I do?

        Answer: Nobody can make your decisions for you, however those kinds of issues are going to arise and compromise of some kind would be desirable, if you were married.

      64. 64
        amy Says:

        my husband has been having an affair since two weeks after we were married, and he has been back and forth between both of us for 2 yrs and has a child with both of us, recently i decided to officially end it with him, how likely is it that he will stay with his mistress?

        Answer: I am not a mind reader, don’t know his intentions, but when selfishness is the key, selfishness looks to fulfill itself.

      65. 65
        James Says:

        My ex and I have been dating and still talking on and off for the last 3 years. I cant seem to let her go because i do love her, but everytime i make sense of our situation she’s back in my life. Any how she is a 19 yr old dropout who thinks being a escort is the best way for her to get on her feat. she says its only to help her out untill she can get into school. i stress to her that once your in or part of those type things its hard to get out plus all the other risk involved. I leave for the military soon and have no problem helping her out because to me shes worth it. whenever i ask her to reconsider her choices she ask am i going to put extra money in her pocket. i dont wanna say yes even though i would, i want to know that she wants me and not my money. will it ever work out???

        Answer: You can not buy love. And her choices should not be dependant solely on money. Living a life chasing money will only end up in dismay. Sometimes people give up their dignity, their self respect and sacrifice all integrity for the wrong things. God has a purpose for her life, (and yours), one that would be very fulfilling, but it won’t be found by looking for money, it will be found by following Jesus!

      66. 66
        Kate Says:

        I think it is easiest for me to post something that I wrote to the person I hurt. I love him so dearly and I said something so painfully insensitive that he says he cannot see the woman he loves anymore. He is a widowed father of two young children. In fear and anger I said, “Did you give Celeeste (his late wife) this much to hope for?” I am utterly ashamed. I’d give anything to go back to that moment and let the fear flow through me… Here’s what I wrote to him, but too late to make a difference: ……I am all in, Jim. I hope you are, too.
        SO – my question is this: What the heck do I do now?

        Answer: Due to the length and content the letter has mostly been removed. First, I will say that it’s refreshing to see someone being honest and taking some ownership for their emotions. Beyond all that you have written, I would suggest you attempt to contact Jim in a manner that you can actually speak with or to him. I would suggest you again apologize, let him know that you did not intend to hurt him, and then ask for his forgiveness, (then be sensitive to the fact that he may need some time). There are some other things though that I would like to point out that will help you, if you will accept them. Love is a choice, love is a commitment, and there is no fear in love. Loves commitment is made in Marriage. You can’t have one foot on one side of the line, and your toes on the other side.

        Sometimes we are so preoccupied by our doubts, worries, insecurities, and fears that we actually disable ourselves and our abilities in our relationships. We can deplete or cheat ourselves by our own thoughts. There are a few reasons for your apprehensions, first you are not married, (that lacks relationship security). Second, you probably have some past feelings that come up and put you in a fear of failure mode. In order for you to be “all in”, you are going to need to let go of the fear of failure. And…you need to quit trying to be perfect, quit trying to appease everyone due to your worries, and just be yourself. Don’t work so hard trying to get everyone’s acceptance, just be you and love them. And understand that worry is a cycle of inefficient thought, it does you no good. I have some suggested reading for you here; You Are Out Of This World, You Are All That!

        And a book called You Can Let Go Now: It’s Okay to Be Who You Are

      67. 67
        asim Says:

        i am 18. i am in a love with a girl in my college. she seems to be friendly to me. it has been one month that we have been knowing each other. unfortunately she felt in love with another guy and she started to stop to talk with me. she is 16. their love affair continued for just a weak and then her boyfriend left her. after that she was very dissappointed. she is a charming and cute girl. however after falling apart from her boyfriend she had lost her charmingness once. and i cared for her during that time. i asked her what has happened to her and she told the reasons. knowing about her she is in need of a handsome and sexy guy. which i do not posses. somedays ago she called me to chat online. she had already known that i love her. when we chatted she herself forced me to propose her. i proposed her making things vague. however after proposing her i got no response of having feelings like i do have for her. she told me that she just wanted to be my friend at all. knowing this i have gone so mad and crazy. my question is “How to make her feel about me as i do feel for her?”

        Answer: infatuation is defined as; an object of extravagant short-lived passion, foolish and usually extravagant passion or love or admiration, and the temporary love of an adolescent. You have in some ways known her for one month, SHE IS 16, you love her looks, and you barely know her. Always start by being friends and do not allow your emotions to do your thinking.

      68. 68
        Samatha Says:

        I have been going through matrimonial sites to find myself the right guy. Sure, the purpose for both the parties is LTR. I liked a guy’s profile a couple of years ago. I initiated conversations by sending him an email, he responded to two of my emails and then disappeared. A couple of years I saw a matri add and responded it. He turned out to be the same guy. He responded to my profile this time and we started exchanging emails. He didn’t mention anything about our past conversations in the email and introduced himself as a fresher. We have now talked over the phone for about 3 times in the last 10 days. We had a nice conversation and he said he’s work till next month and we’ll meet up by the end of next month. His profile on the website is still on.

        Guys, I am confused. He talks nicely but isn’t too enthususiastic to call me everyday. Not that I am being desperate, I am assuming that he is talking to others as well. Should I talk to others at the same time as well? – since I haven’t actually met him as yet, just talked on the phone. I don’t want to sound desperate or dumb. Is he playing mind games or he is just taking things slow?

        Answer: Lots of people date other people, it’s ok to look around. At the same time though, it would reflect the amount of interest to me as well, he does not sound really interested. You hardly know him, and it’s hard to say what he is doing. Just be wise, there are more fish in the sea, and if you actually ever meet him, do so in a safe public place.

      69. 69
        John Says:

        I have been seeing a girl for the last several weeks. We are remarkably similar, have great conversations, both love the outdoors, intellectual conversations, similar food habits and attitudes towards life. However both of us are passionate individuals and have agreed that we respect each other and have been looking for people like each other (from an attitude perspective) for several years years now. The only thing that is missing is that spark. I know she is real good for me and I am for her as well. My question is will that spark and passion for each other develop as we continue to create shared experiences? Our relationship has been platonic so far. Thank you for any advice. Sincerely, – J

        Answer: Enjoy the friendship and companionship, too many people miss the best part of relationship, don’t rush after the wrong things. Then if you both develope feelings, you can look for a ring.

      70. 70
        Chris Says:

        Ive been dating this girl for a year and a half and she just told me a few days ago that she cheated on me. She said she was drunk at a hotel with some of her friends and had sex with this guy. I really love her and would do anything in the world to stay with her and I decided that I want to try and make things work with her. The problem is though how can I trust her again and believe that she loves me like she says she does as much as I love her? And how can she prove to me that she is not going to do this again like she is telling me?

        Answer: Everybody makes mistakes, unfortunantly one of this kind shatters the trust in the relationship. You are hurt, understandibly so, and forgiveness is a process, it’s going to take some time and some meaningful repentance. When someone hurts or wrongs someone they first need to apologize, but then they need to stop doing the thing that they did in order to attain resolve. It sounds like your friend lacks control in more than 1 way. Whats going to happen the next time she gets drunk? Is she going to do something about the drinking issue? How was her childhood? Did she have a poor relationship with her father?

      71. 71
        crystal Says:

        I’ve been in love with a guy, who is also my friend for a long time now. we are both christians and at first we communicated well. then he had to travel to another country for studies. there was a huge distance between us but he kept in touch with me. he was busy i understood, but he made time for me. he moved to another country still for studies, while am also somewhere else studying and working. I told him ”I LOVE U”, just before we were separated by distance. the issue is now he just dont bother to reply my mails and calls once in a ”how long i cant remember”. he said he cared about me and miss me much. but he naver said ‘I LOVE’ to me, not even once. since i met him we always emailed or called each other cause of the distance, on valentine’s day. because he didn’t keep in touch, last Valentine’s Day 2008, i decided not to call nor emailed him. he called me…after that, the silence again. but i kept talking to him via emails, though it was like talking to yourself. he said he cares and want me with me, to keep in touch with him… do you understand what is going on, or was i wrong to tell him ‘I LOVE U’. because some guys just let their ego grow fat when a woman shows or worst tells them their in love with them. Am i right to cut off from him? cause thats what i did..

        Answer: It is really hard to have a relationship when two people are appart, especially in the early stages. However, actions always speak louder than words, people say things that are not backed up by their actions. If he cares about you, or wants to have a relationship with you, then he would show it by his actions. He would contact you, he would write, email, or call quite often. On the other hand, you want to feel “special”, chosen by him, and you want him to show it. This is one good reason not to give yourself up prematurely by having sex. Many women are wrongly taught, by this manner, that sex means nothing because the guy takes what he wants and then fades away. In dancing the man takes the lead and the woman follows, you are either in a dance or you are not.

      72. 72
        sky Says:

        I meet a guy,from a different nationality.there’s a huge cultural difference,but we are both christian just like me. we have reserved life styles. he is kind of a shy guy and we’ve hanged out just twice since we met. he says he will really like to be my good friend. the issue is i think he is cool. i think i like him. we are both xtians, but talking about relationships, in his culture is not somthing they easily discuss, plus am a foreigner in this country. the first and last time i told him he is cool and also looks cool, he felt uneasy and really shy. what do you suggest?

        Answer: It is a good friendship that involves into a lasting love, let the friendship grow. Your friend may have a low self-esteem, everybody needs affirmation, (honest building up comments, not flattery).

      73. 73
        donna Says:

        I have recently met a guy who, at first was contacting me via txt with the occasional phone call. Is last txt read (after our face to face date) that is was nice seeing me again and he would contact me in the week.. Well the week has almost passed and i haven’t heard anything from him.. Should i be worried… It’s just that usually if we don’t speak in the week, i would have got a text. should i take it that he is not intersted anymore?

        Answer: Why a week? Is he on a camping trip in the mohave, in a place where his phone does not work? Assuming things can be dangerous, why don’t you contact him and find out what he has to say. Listen to him carefully though, he will either sound legitimate……. or full of it.

      74. 74
        Kaycee Says:

        Hi,am 19yrs and i have been dating this guy who is far older than me for 3yrs now. At first i did not like him but later he did a very big favor 4 me and was showering me with love and material things, i saw he was really serious so i gave him a try and things have been going on well but he restricted me on doing some things girls do like applying makeup, fixing of weaveon,and its not everything i can discuss with him.later he said we should take an oath which will sustain us till marriage but i told him i still had a long way 2 go and he was really angry with me so we did it. We moved on well but along the line theres this guy i used to admire (who is younger than the first guy), he approached me and we exchanged contacts and he was always calling so we could go on a date but i was always turning him down even to the extent that he’ll wait for me at the venue but i wouldn’t show up but he was very tolerant and he kept on calling i did this because i didn’t want the relationship i had to be affected. but he was still calling me to create time for him which i eventually did but i made sure i behaved by not giving him this look of interest and we talked at length,he was really fun to be with we talked about so many things i didn’t have the confidence to discuss with my boyfriend and i couldn’t help but going for more date and i began to have this extraordinary feeling for him. So he asked about my relationship and i told him about it, he said he was not against it but i should give him a try then we started dating for some months until he heard i was still going out with the first guy and i lied to him that we’ve broken up,he heard this about 3 times and i convinced him that it was a lie, he found out the 4th time and gave me sometime to think about it and follow who my heart decides and i said it was him and i reduced the way i was coming around the first guy. later the first guy found out i was cheating on him we almost broke up but he did not want to break up with me so i made up my mind not to have anything to do with the second guy but i couldn’t help it. The first guy tries to please me in every way but i still love the second guy. i know its really unfair but don’t know how to tell the first guy off because we’ve gone far and he has plans of marriage. but the second guy is really the kind of guy i have always wished to have. what do i do?

        Answer: You like all the attention don’t you? Before you can be honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself and with God. Could it be that you are enjoying all the attention, because you may not have received it from your father? In either case, you can’t go around being a people pleaser all of your life, and you can’t live a lie, it will end sooner or later. If you do not love someone, why remain with them? Just remember that when you get married, it should be to the one you love, and at that point, it’s not light switch love anymore, it’s for life.

      75. 75
        Michelle Says:

        Hi, i recently broke up with my boyfriend after goin out for seven months. he was my first boyfriend and i am really crazy about him. the thing is i only wanted was actually some time apart because the relationship was getting boring. i never wanted to break up with him because i knew then that he really loved me. he took the giving each other space to mean break up. we continued talking to each other as friends but one day he asked me what i wanted and when i told him i wanted him back, he stopped calling me. i really dont know what to do, i cant stand not being with him.

        Answer: Now you realize that, why don’t you call him and tell him since this was your idea to begin with.

      76. 76
        akshay Says:

        i am 30 yrs old and had an arranged marriage with 10 month old kid. I have filed a petition for divorce because my wife has committed suicide twice inspite of me getting separated from my parents who did not harm her in any manner. I am now in love with a girl and proposed her. We are carrying on since last 6 months. My girlfriend is not willing to accept the fact that i slept with my wife if i did not love her. Inspite of my several efforts to make her understand that in arranged marriage, love happens later. My girlfriend loves me a lot but she sometimes gets wild on me because she thinks i’ve done a terrible mistake to have sex with my wife even when i dont love her. What should i do to convince my girlfriend?

        Answer: Frankly, you are not single, how can you ask someone to marry you when you are married? You seem to be moving a bit fast??? There is a lot of honest information missing from your comment / question. However one might wonder if you always run away when you are not able to love someone else? Getting a divorce because your wife attempted suicide? Sounds like she needs all the help and love she can get. As to your girlfriend, she is probably feeling quite insecure with you, with good reason. You are still married, and honestly many men will go to bed with a woman just to get their sexual desires fulfilled. That’s what you were doing right? So what changes with a new woman? And what are you going to do when tough times come between you and this woman, seek another? Love is a commitment, it does not blow away like a leaf in the wind.

      77. 77
        Ale Says:

        I am 27 years old and been married 5 years and 6 1/2 year together. I really loved him and can honestly say i discovered true love with my husband. But i found him with someone else 5 months after our marriage. We separated and he had a child with the other girl, now we got back together we have 2 baby girls and one more on the way but i just cant love him the way i used to. I don’t feel the same way i used to before all this happened. He even says it himself but i try and it just does not grow for me to be attentive and loving like before. Sometimes i feel the need to get away from him. Why What should i do, i dont want to loose him or give up on my marriage as i know i still love him just not the same way.

        Answer: As humans we are emotional beings, our emotions play a big part in our daily lives and in our relationships. Trust was shattered in your relationship and you became hurt, understandably so. You say you can’t love him as before, (you can if you choose to), but your pain is in the way. You do not have to wait for your “feelings” to love others, love is a choice. It really sounds like the pain, the hurtful memory is still active within you, (again it is understandable), but it’s playing out daily in your relationship. That is probably why you want to get away from him, but you really want to get away from the pain, not from him. He reminds you of the pain, (of the painful memory), then a part inside you wants to “escape”, (it wants to escape the pain). Here’s the deal, you can’t just run away and escape from the pain, it’s your pain, and the healing will only come at the source of the pain, (which is within you). Here’s the Antidote, (which is a process), each time you think of, or are reminded of that painful memory, hold your hand up with your fist closed as if your husband was in it. Open your hand and release your husband, and your pain, to God by saying “I forgive him, (speak his name), in Jesus name…..Amen. Please read the article on forgiving others now >

      78. 78
        KELLY Says:


        Answer: He’s in jail for framing someone and wants money from you? You have to make your own decisions in life, sometimes we allow others to push us into things that we shouldn’t. Think with your head and not with your emotions.

      79. 79
        Samantha Says:

        I married my husband 15 years ago-arranged marriage. We fell in love after a year and now have two children. I have been extremely ill for some years now with hypothyroidism and chronic fatigue syndrome/ fibromyalgia. I am a housewife, but can only do small things around the house (half an hour max daily). I target raising our children-giving them lots of love by spending time with them constantly every day. My husband and I never had anything in common, just our children. He is a pilot and is home 2 weeks at a time. He has been supportive by getting up with the kids, making dinner, grocery shop, etc. I am constantly trying to find ways thru my doctor to get the help I need, with only diagnoses and no treatment. I now seem to relax all day (no energy and pain) and my sex drive is completely gone. My husband is starting to get tired of my illness and frustrated with no love making (now 5 months). His frustration comes out as anger and sarcasm towards me. Then, I get mad at him. He puts me down with bad jokes and says I shouldn’t take them seriously. I hate that I can’t be there for him in that way. We are fighting a lot because of the lack of love making, but I ask for conversing with each other/cuddling, as a way of bonding for now, a way of holding on to what little we seem to have left. He says that what I have to say is boring and I feel the same way about him talking about work all the time. I’m not out of the house much, because of my lack of energy, so I talk about the kids and a lot of random things. At this point, I have mentioned divorce, because I seem to disappoint him in so many levels. I can’t make a life of my own at this moment, because of the years of illnesses. I don’t want to put my children thru this. What do I do about my husband saying making love is the #1 important thing in our marriage and we don’t have the same likings? To come to think of it, all we truly had in the beginning years was making love and our children. I want to save our marriage and find some new way to connect mentally and continue working with my doctor to feel better, but I don’t know if it’s enough time before our marriage will crumble. Sorry to go on like this, but I need help.

        Answer: The first thing you need to do, both of you, is to take the ‘D’ word out of the equation. People say hurtful things when they are emotionally and or physically hurting, OR…..when they are not getting things their way. It sounds like you need more God in your relationship, do you have and read the bible? Do you watch sermons on TV? The first place to go in the morning, each day, and in tribulation is God. God is good for everything, for healing, for restoration, for love, and for wisdom. With God all things are possible! The closer you draw to Him, the better things will become. I would suggest that you tell your husband that his belittling comments do not help, that they lack compassion and understanding, there is no love in them, and that they are not funny. And I would suggest that you do not sink to that level. Tossing fire darts is not going to accomplish any good. Get a bible and read Ephesians 4:25 thru 5:33, and if possible read it with your husband.

      80. 80
        Anjali Says:

        Firstly i want to thank your team for building such an inspirational site. My questions to you is that in my past there were many people who played with my feelings and emotions. I have never done harm to anyone intentionally. Now these people are at the top and very happy. I feel sometimes very bad that how come these people are happy when they lied and played with me. I really start hating myself. My inner self confidence just vanishes. I am married and i have a loving and caring husband but can’t forget what has happened with me in the past.

        Answer: First and foremost, God is your vindicator. Secondly, you can’t move forward as long as you are trying to drag those old hurts with you. No, it’s not right the way many people treat people, but that can not become a crutch for you. You need to let it go, forgive them their trespasses, and trust in God’s judgement with regards to them. The plans God has for you are out in front of you, not behind you. You need to be careful what you listen to, don’t listen to those condemning voices from the past, that stuff comes from the devil. Don’t give away your power to other peoples opinions or past comments of you, and don’t give away your power by thinking they are above you. You are not defined by things or success, you are defined by your essence. You have a great future ahead of you, do not allow yourself to be held back.

      81. 81
        Anne Says:

        I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for two years. We are very much in love and I think he means to propose to me soon. The only thing that is bad is that his mother hates me. I have been nice and attempted to ‘get on her good side” so to speak, but she will not let us spend time together or let him come to see me. I really am trying to figure out what I can do to make this better, because I do not want to be a member of a family that cannot stand me. What should I do to gain her friendship and trust?

        Answer: Be careful not to put her on a pedestal, you do not require her approval or affirmation. The bible says it is dangerous to be overly concerned with what other people think of you. Too many people go around trying to please the wrong people for the wrong reasons. Simply, be kind, respectful, show her love, but don’t bend over backwards to please her.

      82. 82
        Penelope Says:

        hi my name is penny . i told this like 10 month ago that i am in love with him he said he has some family drama and he wall call me when it is over … he did call me but just to go to he place and watch a movie with him .. what i am trying to say is that why dose he sees me one tame and then calls me 3 month’s later when he knows that i am in love with him why dose he pretends like i never told him nothing and calls me me he feels like

        Answer: You seem to like attention when you are not receiving it and thus you allow unhealthy emotional trends to continue. Think about it, if he is not calling you then he is not being considerate or thoughtful of you. But suddenly he is? Bottom line; what do you think that you have that this guy wants??? Some guys are only interested in one thing, any ideas what that one thing might be?

      83. 83
        Beccy Says:

        ok, so i will try and make this as short as possible. i have this guy friend, who i have known for about 11 years now. we were in the service together. even when we couldn’t see each other in person, we kept in contact by phone, email, chat, or video chat. when we were in the service together, we did the whole friends with benefits thing, on a very regular basis. so,a couple weeks ago, he talked me into coming to see him, and seeing if its a place i would like to live. so i am here, staying with him. we sleep together every night, he kisses me before he leaves for work or anything, without me hinting or prompting him to, he does all the things that a boyfriend would, but he still says we are good friends with benefits. so him doing all these things, does that mean that there is some interest in more than just friends with benefits, or is there no hope at all for a relationship with him.

        Answer: Who is benefitting? Relationship is far deeper than sex, if you want more, you need to let him know that you want to be more than just a mistress to him. And, you need to leave and refrain from LUST based benefits and look for ring based and marriage certificate based benefits within the commentment of love benefits.

      84. 84
        shayne Says:

        ok so ive been living with my girl friend for almost five months the other day she said it didnt feel like im her boy friend just a friend so i tried to spice it up with candles and flowers and rose peddles every where and a bath and rose peddles over the bed but all she did was give me a hug and we went to the mall after all my romantic trying i thought it might have helped with our sex but we still didnt make love which is weird for us, i am right to be nervious?

        Answer: Why don’t you try a ring and a certificate of marriage? Relationship is about far more than your LUST.

      85. 85
        kelly Says:

        my boyfriend and i live in different states. i in north carolina and he in maryland. three months ago i found out that he had sleeping with someone else for three months and got her pregnant although she didn’t keep the baby. she told me via facebook three months after the situation happened because he told her he wasn’t dealin with me again and she found out that he still was. she told me that he told her if they got pregnant again they would keep it and they both decided to not keep the pregnancy.she also said that he is dealing with several other girls. should i stay with him? i really love him and i know he loves me but i don’t know what to do. he doesn’t talk to the girl anymore.

        Answer: If that is true, which is really unknown to you, it’s only something someone said. But lets say it is true, then how could he love you? He loves you by sleeping with anyone who comes along? See how much he loves you, refrain from sex, and then wait to see if he proposes to you. If he does not, then it’s nothing but LUST.

      86. 86
        Sally Says:

        An aquintnace of mine and i have over the last 4 months begun an awesome and very close friendship. There’s been alot of sexual tension between us and flirting but also honesty and the ability to talk for 6 hours straight about life but also make dumb jokes and just hang out. We have exactly the same music tastes, life attitudes but enough differences to be different people.

        In those past 4 months, we’ve texted each other every single day, sometimes all day every day and hung out about 3 or 4 times a week. The texts are sometimes about things that matter or sometimes just telling me that he’s had a sandwich as big as his face.

        He loves being playful and a flirt, nothing to tie him down kind of guy. We always dance together when we’re out because no-one else can keep up with us, it’s kinda our thing. Anyways, he kissed me on new years and i told him that i liked him but would never put my own feelings in the way of a friendship so if he didn’t like me that was fine. He thought about it for ages and basiclly he’s stance was he’s a sexually active and generally casual person and but to have sex with him at my own peril. Basically i feel that i don’t like him emotionally enough to be with him so i feel like i’m not going to get attached.

        There’s a 4-5 year age gap, i’m older, and we’ve just started flirting more and more and getting more and more physical. Basically, an outside opinion on this would be awesome… do you think there is any chance that this dude likes me but is a bit scared of a relationship? Because his mates have told me he doesn’t “do” relationships and he’s described himself as a free spirit. Should i stay, enjoy the frienship and sex but keep my feet on the ground or should i go because i’m only going to get hurt?

        Answer: PERIL means a source of danger; a possibility of incurring loss or misfortune. The choices you make must be made for yourself, however the insights to your questions are available in this sites articles. I would suggest you take time to read them, in this way you will gain greater understanding.

      87. 87
        Sylvia Says:

        please help! I am in love with a man whom i find does not consider how i feel in situations. He believes it is o.k to go out to meetings over drink or dinner with opposite sex. I do not. Before he will marry me, he states that i have to sign agreement that if we were to separate, i would not be entitled to his house, etc, and that he wouldn’t have to pay child support for (my son). I would not be interrested in taking what HE worked so hard for but it hurts me that he would ask me to sign. THANKS!

        Answer: It sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too! Opposite sex meetings within safe places during the work day is one thing, but to give lust an opportunity at night with drinks is another. If you sign the thing you basically give him the right to do whatever he wants, whenever he wants without any reprocusions for poor actions. Besides, love is a commitment, the fact that he would want you to sign something like that shows a lack of love and shows that he wants to be able to bail out at his own whim. It’s a fire escape agreement, he wants to get married with one foot already out the door. He should be in for the duration from the beginning or not at all right? What do you think? It’s your choice, think with your brains and not with your emotions. And if you have already had sex, I would suggest you stop giving him what he wants, you would only be disrespecting yourself.

      88. 88
        Jocellyn Says:

        Hello.. Im 17 years old and ive been dating my boyfriend for 2 years. i kno compared to some of these post it may seem like nothing. But Im confused about this relationship… idk if we’ve been together to long or he wants to seek others.. here’s the story… About 3 months ago i happened to look at his messages just being nosy and i seen he wrote a female sayin he was going to c her. And what he wuz going to do with her and what she could do with him (Sexually). It hurt amd i explained to him my point of the situation and we argued and fought. But nothing seemed to cross his mind about him being wrong. He made up excuses like he always does to cover himself up. Then I gave him a 2nd chance wen he said he wud never do it again. Now today i go and luk at his messages and c that another female was writing him and he says “Can a nigga call u sometime.. u gotta number?”… i mean… i dnt get it. I havnt did anything to him!.. Just being faithful.. I talk to him and tlk to him but nothing seems to get threw. idk.. Wat should i do?

        Answer: First off never give yourself away prematurely, many men will take advantage of you to get what they want, (sex). Wait for them to give you a ring and a certificate of marriage. You have to make your own decisions, but you need to understand the difference between lust and love.

      89. 89
        Miranda R. Says:

        well i been married for going on five years and me and my husband have had alot of issues, abusive behavior we have three kids and we all ways argue and cant seem to agree on anything and i prayed and prayed to God to soften his heart and he has changed a bit but now i feel like something is just not there anymore i wanna be in a relationship with someone who gets me and understands me and I dont feel like he does. i am always there for everybody all the time and put myself last and now i just feel empty and alone!! and I really feel like starting my life over but am afraid of making wrong choices so I end up in the samething over and over please give me some insight on this thanks and God bless.

        Answer: First and foremost, men and women do not think the same, you probably don’t understand him anymore than he understands you. Have you ever given that some thought? Love is something that couples are always in a learning process of. Learning to meet each others needs where they need it is not always as simple as it sounds. He is not a woman, he is not going to understand you like a woman would, that’s because he is a man, (and visa versa). Love is an action and love is a choice, love does not require feelings in order to act. Feelings follow the actions of love, so a partner does something loving and the other partner then feels it. Both of you are capable of initiating love without first having the feelings. I do not know what the abusive behavior is that you speak of, however arguements are generally due to pride, selfishness, and dishonesty. Each has his/her own area that need attention, nobody is 100% at fault for issues in a relationship, there are always some things that both partners need to take ownership of. I would suggest you order this DVD pack:
        Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage
        …and then follow that up by going to a biblical church counselor.

      90. 90
        dilzi Says:

        Ok, so i’ve been going out with this guy for like maybe 3 months but we never kissed. WHat an i doo? i realy like himm but we can do nothing because no ones we go out not even our parents. What can i do? we really wanna kiss but we cant do it in front of everyone but if we sneak away they will find out?

        Answer: Practice friendship, learn how to love in friendship, kissing can be a prelude to other things that should wait for marriage.

      91. 91
        Christine Says:

        I feel totally lost, no appetite or sleep. This charming christian man from my church, pursued me amd pursued me, made me feel like i was something else!!! I was taken advantage of at 3 and physically abused by my mother. I feel like a child who wants to feel special, to protect me and love me. It’s now obvious since I gave myself to this church man all was just a game. I’m left in torment. How can I change from resenting this church man? Gratefull to have someone to ask!!! Thankyou!!!

        Answer: To begin with, take ownership of your own choices, just as you said; “I gave myself to this church man”. Who did? You did right? So why are you resentful with him, is it because you put your trust in him and feel like he fooled you? Many women fall into this same trap, you are not alone. However, the answer is to keep oneself pure until one has a ring and a certificate of marriage. Ask yourself if in your desire to be loved, if you rushed things? No body is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, however it was not just him who sinned. for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23). Admit your mistakes, ask Jesus for forgiveness, and seek out the love of God in your life.

      92. 92
        tori simms Says:

        i’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a month and a half. we got in a stupid fight the other day because i got mad at him for talking about this 25 year old woman that he thinks is cute (he is 17). yesterday, he avoided me all day at school. today he talked to me but he was acting weird. i wanted him to kiss me & he said no. & i was like why. he said that he is setting a goal & going to see how long he can last in not kissing me or doing anything physical with me. i asked him if he was breaking up with me & he said “no, there’s a difference”. i don’t understand any of this. what do you think he means? what should i do?

        Answer: Get control of yourself and your emotions, do not think with your emotions, but think with your mind. Just because your hormones are raging does not mean that you should give into them and allow yourself to be taken advantage of. This is one major reason why you should not be “physical” or give yourself away prematurely prior to marriage. Many times the guy gets what he wants and the girl gets left with nothing. Learn to be friends with the person you are going out with, build a relationship, don’t rush into the aspects that will leave you in pain. Sex is the deepest form of intimacy you can have, when you have sex there is a bonding that takes place at a deep emotional level, don’t allow any guy to tear you up inside like that.

      93. 93
        mikan Says:

        I met a guy on a matrimonial website. He was interested and he called me up.we spoke sometimes and then decided to meet. When we first met , after seeing each other we realised that we had met each other before.then we recollected that we had met each other about 8 years ago and that time we never spoke but we just knew each other face to face and thast it.So now 8 years later we met as a formal proposal (thru this site). we met few times anmd things were just fine.Once he came to pick me up in a car and then everyday after that in the same car.I kind of found it wierd that why was he coming each day to meet me or pick me up from my workplace but then i thought that may be he is trying to know me well before marriage may ever happen.He never told me that he owns this car and i thought he owned it as he used to get it each day, it so happened that i once told him in the middle of some conversation that “your car …” and he said its not my car and hence i cannot get it again.I think its not that he lied but he even did not tell me the truth.Also on that matrimonial website he mentioned that his annual income is more than 150000 US dollars annually and I found out after a few days that that was also a lie!! he used to help me in my everyday work , everyday he used to come to my house ( two mins walk from his house) before going to his office and talk to me for hours , his family and my family knew about this relation and i used to talk to his mom and he used to talk to ppl in my family.But eventually I lost interest in him because he used to lie a lot and talk very loudly.Also I wnated to settle in good country and asked him abt his thoughts and he said ” i would do anything for you and let me ask my mom about this”. He asked and next day called me and said ” my mom says fine, settle where she wants you to as i see that should not be an issue and let not the proposal go away for such a small issue”.After a few days, something happened in my office which left me very very disturbed. due to this i got frustrated and a very angry woman.i nearly shouted at him everytime but he used to tolerate all that.two months had passed.He had already told my mom that he would like to marry me but i wnated time so i told my parents to tell him to wait.I started losing interest in him because of his lie abt many things and thought would not be loyal.he thought that if i had not been intereste din him then i would hav estopped him from coming to my hpouse but i did not do that because i thought that we can remain friends. There is one thing i forgot to mention, in the very beginning of we meeting he texted me( we hardly knew each other then) that he wanted to kiss me all over).I immediately called him and asked abt this text and he said he could not control his emotions so he just typed it.Also i notice dthat he used to see other women sometimes while we were driving in the car.So thesde were also some of the other reasons why i dint wnat to be his future.As you said its not wrong to be with other guys at the same time and as i was looking for marriage i started talking to another alliance at the same time without telling anything to this current guy.What happened is that things dint work out well with the new guy and there was nothing like a relationship but just a formal proposal kind of thing and we said bye to each other considering that it was probably not a suitable match.The former guy still used to come to my place and my parents were also not quite interested in him as i had said a no.But he kept coming.once he asked me ” so are we getting married” and i said im not quite sure abt it.But then i thought that he cares abt me, he likes me, he helps me and my family a lot the only thing is that he is lying right now and with my love i can try to change that and i can also chnage his habit of talking loudly in front of others. So i decided to take him a bit seriously.Then i used to go out with him more often, we went for a long drive we even talked abt things after marriage and it was great. We got physically involed ( in the third month of knowing each other) but thre was no sex at all.After that once he texted me and said ” there will be some one trying to contact you by so and so number and pls tell her that we are just friends”.That lady called me up and said that are u in a relationship with this guy and i said “no”.she hung up.I aske dhim what this was all about and he said that he is out of town currently and will explain once he is back.He dint callme for fifteen days and once i called him up his num ber was busy and at the same time i called that lady her number was also busy. he just picked up once and i asked him why he dint call me, he said im too busy with work let me be back and i will explain. i decided to tell my parents and since he used to be at my place each and every day for hours my parents had developed that trust on him and thought that may be he is genuinely in som ebig problem and told me that let him come back and we will see. A week more passed. Nothing happpened. No calls from his side. As he lives two mins away from my house, as i came back from office i saw him going somewhere on his bike.Then i realised that he came back to town and he dint even tell me.I dont understand all this crap as he propsed me, my parents also, our families kknoew about all this his mother always used to tell me that ” so when the both of you have decided to get married”.I called him after all this crap and he said” my dad wants me to marry some one else and also you have a lot of temper.And I have to listen to my parents and marry this gal.Hows that possible, he knew abt my temper even before and his entire family knew abt me and him and how can his dad not know it? and if he knew it then why some other gal?This time when i called his mom she said” I cant say a yes to you neither can I say a no and i told her that time that why did he keep contact with me if there wa someone else already and if not already then how did someone or could someone come into his life when the talks are on for me?? we knew each other for like four months,i never came to know what happened just all of a sudden.He doesnt even come to my house anymore and no contact at all as if something like that never existed.My mom had called him for something and he dint even ask her how she was and said instead” ya what is it”

        My question to you is, what went wrong? have i done something? I personally feel that he is crazy and very low confident.

        Answer: Sometimes things just do not work out, and sometimes that is in your best interests. I would like to suggest to you that you slow down, look to make friends and be friends, leave sex out and marriage talk out until you have developed a good relationship. And seek wisdom and guidance that will help you to ascertain a persons character level. Above all things, protect your heart, it is the spring of life.

      94. 94
        Nicole Says:

        I love my husband, have been with him for 17 years. We have gone through a lot together, he s depressed. He puts a mask on for his friends. When he gets home, he has terrible mood swings. He admits to me, he has some issues. I have been so understanding, I’ve been with him through this for 3 years, since 2007. He tells me that he loves me, doesn’t know what the future holds for us, that truly hurts. Every weekend, he doesn’t spend time. S with me, he doesn’t know why, whats wrong with me?

        How is his relationship with Jesus? Have you considered going to a Godly counselor……….you need to, your marriage may depend on it. In the mean time you might consider changing the atmosphere and do things differently. CLICK HERE> Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage

      95. 95
        Mussa Says:

        hi. this feels slightly weird. never actually talk much bout love, but im sort of in a pickle that’s tearing me apart. im 17years old, never had a girlfriend before but lots of crushes. its not because im shy though, more because i dunno what to do. so there’s this girl in class that i like (a lot) . And i know for sure that she likes me. im insane about her, she stops my heart beating each time i see her (literally). i do not want to loose her, i wanna be with her always. i know what it is she likes about me, but every time im with her specifically i sort of transform, i become someone else, the type that’s quiet and nervous (and its who i actually am that she likes) . but that is just part of the dilemma im in. she keeps sending me mixed messages, she completely ignores me, or doesn’t pay any attention whatsoever that im trying to flirt or that im interested in her. and i doubt myself that it was just perhaps just my imagination that i thought she liked me. then i try to move on, but then she starts all of a sudden at just random times, to flirt with me. and im baffled and don’t know what to do. if only i could get into her head or even ask her face to face. but i have a fear of rejection that perhaps she never actually liked me. because one of her many qualities that somehow made me fall for her, was her fun in sarcasm and making fun or fantasies about everything. and maybe what i thought she felt for me was just one of her fantasies. any help on what shes thinking ? or even how can i take it up a notch to know if she actually likes me. thank you for taking your time to read this. whatsoever advice you give ill take it. even if it should bring me back to reality. thanks

        Answer: You said it with your own words: “fear of rejection”. Change your focus a bit, there is someone out there who is going to appreciate you for who you are at your core. Put away the fear of rejection, because REJECTION is only a DEFLECTION, a RE-DIRECTION to another place or person. If she does not want to go out with you, then it was not meant to be. Besides you need to get over your fear first before anything will ever happen. Face your fear, overcome it by asking her out, and then move forward regardless of what happens. If yes, have a good time….if no, look for the girl who is waiting for you to show up in her life.

      96. 96
        loveorhate Says:

        i had been in a relationship with this man for almost 2 years.he’s way too far from an idea of dream partner but i loved him for him even though i had to sacrifice alot along our relationship.more than month ago,i graduated and he changed.it started when he’s too poor to keep connected with me.no more calls,messages and we didnt meet up even when he got money and his home just like 20minutes away.i helped out him,reload and everything i could.but he sent me 2/3 messages before he told me he runs out of credit.he told me he was angry at me for some pointless reason at first.but for me i am the one who should be angry.i begged,talked to him nicely,ignored,pissed off.but he just silence and remains invisible.then i caught up him messaging a girl,totally unknown girl for a date.whats wrong with him.i gave him money,time,i done his assignment.i am too angry of him being so ignorance and changed this much in a very short time and with tears called him bad things but him talked back to me,even worst.

        Answer: Sounds like he is with someone else, giving someone else his time, and you the cold shoulder. When you give something it should not come with attachments or expectations. Nor should you rush into anything too fast, take your time and become best friends… and do not give yourself away before marriage. Proverbs 4:23; Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

      97. 97
        xelia Says:

        I am in a six months relationship with a guy. The only problem between the two of us is his ex and my ex.

        We stay in the same town as they and both of them is intervening into our lives every single day.

        He has one son with his ex and i have two children with my ex. We want to move in together but dont know how to make this relationship last with both of the exes intervening.

        Any advice?

        Answer: There are more issues than that in this relationship. How are you going to understand others unless you first understand yourself? If you want your relationships to last you should first put God as its center point. God is the creator of relationships, who better to gain from than God?

      98. 98
        brenda Says:

        Do u believe in long distant relationship? i am in love with this guy, he says he loves me. the only thing about him , he is in Africa , he is working over there. i am just curious about long distant love. i have ask him question and he was willingly to give this info. we met on tagged. he has ask me to take my profile of tagged, and i did . he also took his off to, so i do not know what to say r think. he always tells me he loves me. we talk every day online. i need some advice on this relationship. i would appeciate it very much.

        REPLY: It takes time to build a relationship, just as it takes time to get to know someone, and getting to know someone will require doing it at at a personalble level.

      99. 99
        Kris Says:

        Ok well this is my story, I’m dating this girl and it’s going on 6months, but the other day she wasn’t talking much so I asked what’s wrong and she said that she’s getting bored with me because of how I do things. She said that I’m the sweetest guy she’s ever dated but I’m smothering her from it and I need to change like as in be more demanding and bossy. I told her I’d do my best to do whatever she wanted to keep her happy but I dont know what do to. Like how can I still be sweet but at the same time kinds a jerk I guess you would say?

        REPLY: There is a difference between being bold and being a jerk. Confidence is expressed in actions. However, at the same time if you put her on a pedestal just to try to please her you make her an idol and this will cause issues as well. You need to be a man and yet, be yourself at the same time. You can not be what others want you to be. You are not defined by others, you are defined by your essence.

      100. 100
        ammu Says:

        l love a boy past from 8 years from that till now we not fright for anythings, we have good understandings, but past from one year i working, we have too much of problem past these year, i am in correct, but he get angry for everythings scolding, he have comparing an speaking with my office staff, many time we spend time an we both speaked but day by day it goes more, i dont know what to do please help me.

        REPLY: Learn to compromise, nobody is always right, so do not be arrogant, instead seek to gain understanding. The source of the problems are on the inside, not on the outside. Proverbs 4:7; Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

      101. 101
        dia Says:

        i am 17 and have never been in a relationships. a couple of times i have come close but have always said no because i thought my feelings weren’t involved.anyway so the thing is my college started a month back and i got attracted to this guy in my class but as usual i did nothing about it because i thought there was no point (i have a bit of a negative attitude sometimes so i said to myself this guy will mostly be a snob, will never talk to me so stop thinking about it) til here everything was fine.what happened was that he and i turned out to be lab partners and he turned out to be really swet,nice n funny.infact he was the one who talked to me first n tried to be really friendly.at the end of the class he asked for my number and my other lab partner did too..anyway so that night at dinner i found out hes committed big time to his school sweetheart who he knew for two years and had been dating for 6 months.to be honest i felt a twinge(who wouldn’t) but i behaved normal with him and his friends..we got along really well and before you know it he n i and his other guy friends became really friendly with me..we have dinner together every night and the days i don’t skip lunch lunch too…he talks to me about his girlfriend passionately asks me things to do like buy stuff for her and all (i can make out he loves her alot) i answer honestly like i should.i have never hit on him,never given a hint i like him..the thing is now that we are close m finding it hard to get over him.i don’t love him but i really really like him.maybe more than any guy iv ever known.i think of him on friendly terms when m around him or when i tease him with his gf or about other things but at the end of the day just when m thinking m over him,the feelings back.a guy even proposed to me 3 weeks back,i said no,he was a good friend but i didn love him.i have no hopes for my friend,probably he’ll never look at me that way.but i’m getting tired of being single,yet i dont believe in flings..when i’m with guys they treat me as one among them n less like m a ga-maybe thats how i am. is that bad? the worst thing however is “my good friend” hardly pays attention to me now.hes more with another gal (which makes my decision for not going out with him so much satisfactory) however i have started feelings there aren’t any good guys left who’ll be interested in me and that i’m very replacable..i know ive bored you but could you please take time to..
        thank you

        REPLY: Sounds like the first thing you need to do is to realize that you are your own worst critic. You shoot yourself in the foot before you even take a step. Even if you are rejected does not mean that something is wrong with you, it just means its not the “right door”. Your fear of not being good enough holds you back from possibility, you are going to miss opportunity if you continually back away from it. You may have some feelings of inadequacy that are associated to your past or childhood, did someone make you feel like you were not good enough when you were young? You need to get in touch with these feelings that are causing you to self destruct in the eye of possibility, and understand them.

      102. 102
        sanya Says:

        hi.i have been in a relationship with last 4 years. HE is really cute and and very caring and loving,but since last 2 years we were separated because of our jobs. It was a long distance relationship.I love him very much, but he always used to avoid the topic of marriage. I got little bit angry. I trust him a lot, but then we had a very bad fight over this and we didn’t talk for days.then i tried to keep aside my ego, and started talking to him,but he says he doesn’t love me anymore.. i asked one of my office friends, who says he misses me badly but always says he doesn’t love me. I really love him a lot. he talks to me and we have long chats over IM everyday now just like best buddies.but whenever I show him how i feel, he will just withdraw himself. I think he is just scared to face the fact that he still loves me, and maybe he doesn’t have the confidence to assure his family, so trying to leave me.. I know he loves me, but he somehow he is trying to avoid it.he says he wont love anybody else, he has made his career his life, keeps himself busy, and emotionally has become isolated.. I really want to help him, but he doesn’t wants to talk about love or marriage. How can i make him come out of this situation, please help!

        COMMENT: Before you can help someone else or understand someone else you must first understand and be honest with yourself. You say you got a “bit angry”, you said some things out of your own insecurity that caused the issue to begin with. You need to take ownership of your behavior before you can understand his. You need to get real with yourself and your insecure jealousy before you can resolve the issues. Why are you insecure? Contemplate that, get in touch with yourself and discover the root of that insecurity. Then you need to be honest with him about your insecurity and how your emotions took over, due to that insecurity. Then you need to apologize and simply try to be friends and quit trying to rush so much. Keep sex out of the equation, increase your relationship without the romance, without the marriage talk, without all the things you desire and love him without all your strings attached. Sometimes when we push issues, we just push away.

      103. 103
        Lez Says:

        I’d like to know whether disagreements between myself and my fiancé is normal? i know that deciding to get married obviously turns up the heat like spring cleaning and you push aside all the emotion to determine for real whether this is the one. I have no doubt in my love for him. My parents have allowed him to stay with us, not with me but shares a room with my brother due to some unfortunate circumstance, and we are both of the standing that there is absolutely NO sex before marriage as this is not sanctioned by God. i Digress.. but there are just so many things happening and i guess hearing various opinions on this will help a great deal. Speaking to my parents isn’t an option as they are still very much protecting their baby girl, don’t get me wrong, we love one another to bits. PLEASE HELP

        ANSWER: No relationship will run smoothly all the time, there will be differences, this is part of our learning how to love process. We learn to extend grace to each other, that is love. Rather than picking at all the things we don’t like about one another, we overlook each others imperfections and put our focus on the things we love about each other. Now if you really want to do the best thing for your relationship you will go a good biblical Christian church that has premarital counseling and go through it together. We all have blemishes, we all have shortcomings, we all have emotions that come up and cause disruption in our relationships. We all need acquire more of Gods wisdom in order to understand each other. It is more important to understand than it is to be understood. You should watch these DVD’s together; Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage they are funny and insightful.

      104. 104
        Farah Says:

        I love this guy. We have been dating since past 4 years. He dropped out of school in 10th grade but I continued. He felt low because he didn’t want his girlfriend to be more educated than him because of his man ego. Since last month he isn’t talking to me because I recently joined college. He messaged me that things would never get fine between us & that he doesn’t want to see me, asking me not to contact him anymore & to leave him alone. I know he loves me a lot but it’s his ego that is causing all this trouble. I don’t think anything is my mistake. I call him everyday but he never answers. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to lose him.

        COMMENT: Everyone needs to feel like they matter and that their life has purpose, men usually do have egos and pride can be an issue. However, a persons low self esteem can also be an great hindrance. That which is cast down must first be raised up. Feelings of inadequacy could stem from his father or his mother, the things they said and they way that made him feel. This is just another reason to read the word of God, so that we know how God feels about us individually. Zephaniah 3:17 says; The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” When we know in our deep knower how God feels about us, we will let go of what people think of us. Everybody needs AFFIRMATION, some more than others. If you want to help him, go the the following link and buy the DVD’s, then watch them yourself first so you have understanding, then consider giving or sending them to him.
        a Tough-Minded Optimist (6 DVDs)

      105. 105
        sad girl Says:

        i’m a 21 yrs old girl.i met a guy about 6 months back.he was very nice and good hearted. he treated me very nicely.we met a couple of times and he started showing me that he really cared and loved me.we used to talk the whole night on the phone and he used to propose me many times on the phone but i didn’t care much.slowly, i started falling for that guy.later i found out that he has a girlfriend so i stopped talking with him.He cried a lot and told me that he would break up with his girlfriend because he loves me very much.But, months passed by and he did nothing like that.i told him that i would talk with him only after his breakup with his girlfriend but he cried and told me that he can’t do that cos his girlfriend loves him very much and then i told him to leave me if he can’t leave his girlfriend cause he can’t have us both but again he emotionally blackmailed me and then i started talking with him.my family and friends want me to stay away from him but i can’t cos i love him very much and the way he talks to me and looks at me makes me feel that he loves me very much.he loves me very much but doesn’t want to leave his girlfriend and i don’t think he’ll ever leave her. what should i do? please, help me. i’m really confused 🙁

        ANSWER: The longest distance you will ever go will be between your head and your heart. The confusion you have is between your emotions, (which are very poor at making decisions), and your brain which knows better. You first need to rule your emotions, not allowing them to control your decisions, then use your brain to make the choice that is pretty obvious, don’t you think?

      106. 106
        Shantel Says:

        I’m 20 yrs old and my boyfriend is 31. Words can’t explain how much I love him. Maybe I love him a little to much. I been there for him through everything in any way I can and I still feel like it’s not good enough. He cheated on me twice and i still forgave him. There are times he can be so great and charming but then there are times that what he says and how he acts hurts. Its getting to the point that I know I should let him go but it hurts. I love him too much. I tried before to not talk to him and avoid him but its like my mind tells me leave him n my heart says no. I know he needs me in his life. He tells me im his world and the love of his life and he cant live without me. Hes had a rough childhood and is looking to be better and i think i could help him. Since we been together he has changed some of his ways and became more loving. But its those times when i really need him most that hes not there for me. So I decided to move about 500 or 600 miles away to better myself. but it kills me that we are apart. I miss him soo much. We talk on the phone everyday and he still at times ignores my texts and calls. I know the answer his to cut him off fully..BUT HOW???…if i love him too much to let go.

        ANSWER: The longest distance you will ever go will be between your head and your heart. The confusion you have is between your emotions, (which are very poor at making decisions), and your brain which knows better. You first need to rule your emotions, not allowing them to control your decisions, then use your brain to make the choice that is pretty obvious, don’t you think? PS, this is a huge reason not to give yourself away before marriage!

      107. 107
        Sian Says:

        So me and my boyfriend have been going out for 17 months and what can I say we are so happy but these past couple of months we have been fighting over some really stupid things but then we sit down and agree to stop because we care about each other so much but then we carried on fighting because I have found it hard to trust him again since he emailed another girl behind my back. And well we have still been fighting but today we had a fight and he told me he didn’t love me anymore but I was thinking whether he was just saying that because he was angry because he can’t surely switch off his feelings for me that fast, or I was thinking whether he doesn’t love me because I haven’t been myself for a bit as in happy but then we agreed to go on a break because it is for the best but I don’t know what to do on a break he said he would text me when he was ready to see me again but does he love me? And will a break make us happier again?

        ANSWER: You are showing your signs of insecurity, jealousy, which has some to do with maturity, and some to do with lack of commitment. Do not give yourself away before you have a ring, otherwise you will emotionally pay for it. Let your brain do the thinking and control your emotions. A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Proverbs 14:30
        Love is patient and kind. Love knows neither envy nor jealousy. Love is not forward and self-assertive, nor boastful and conceited. 1 Corinthians 13:4
        He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. Proverbs 17:9

      108. 108
        Marjonas Says:

        Can I ask you a question?
        I believe that i’m pretty but i’m not so thin.I think that is one of the main problems why i don’t have a boyfriend. There’s a guy in my school and i like him very much but i’m afraid to talk to him. I don’t know if he likes me too but i really want him to become my boyfriend. What do you think, what should I do to get closer to him?

        Comment: You are insecure in yourself and need to come in to a better understanding as to why that is. Analyze your relationships with your parents, then with your so called friends, do any of them say demeaning things to you? Now, do you know how God feels about you?
        How precious are your thoughts about me, O God. They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me! Psalm 139:17-18

      109. 109
        Hanise Says:

        My best friend is suffering from a break up. She broke up with her ex, but suddenly realized that she loves him. However, he’s got a new girlfriend, and obviously doesn’t want to get back with her. I’m trying to help her see that it’s not really LOVE as we’re only 16 years old. But then she stopped talking to me because I wasn’t agreeing with her. So then I decided to send a message to her ex, getting more involved, though right now I’m wondering if I’ve gone too far…? I don’t know what to do.

        Comment; Love is not blind, but infatuation is and so are ones emotions when one is thinking with their emotions and not their brains. Sometimes the truth hurts, but it will sink in eventually, just be there for the fallout. We all carry learned assumptions about “reality” that in fact are not “reality” at all. Those assumptions are tied to what we believe or disbelieve, value or devalue, commit to or oppose. Genuine reality transcends what is available to us at a visible level. When held captive to beliefs and assumptions that are based purely on what is visible and rational, we are blinded to genuine truth therefore we remain enslaved. Denial does not change reality, it only prolongs the pain until such a time when ones pain overcomes their fear of change.

      110. 110
        Midhun Says:

        I am an Engineering student in India (my age is 20)
        my problem is that i’m in love from my fifth standard, with my cousin(daughter of my mom’s brother)

        i never told her.But she knows i care her a lot,and I’ll do anything for her. I was attracted towards her character since i was a child. I got a chance to read her diary and i got her likes and dislikes,her ambitions, her prayers,etc
        The actual problem is that according to the relationships she is my Would-be(means i should marry her)
        and i am happy to do that

        but in our family(especially Christians) these marriages are not a custom. and we are like brothers and sisters.
        what should i do in this situation??
        i am worried, Now i am asking you help because she came with her family to my home today. but unknowing this i went out to hangout with my friends. I missed her today and for that i am so much depressed.(i could see her only once in a couple of months or so)

        my mom and dad cares her just like their daughter
        they telephone each other often( while i listen to their talk through another phone)
        I dont know whether she loves me or not. But i am sure she never hates me

        I dnt know my relatives support me or they oppose me
        i am afraid of that.
        am i overtaking the advantage that she is my cousin??
        please tell me whether i should treat her as my sister or love??


      111. 111
        Reyna Says:

        I am currently in this really weird situation in my relationship. My boyfriend and I have known each other for about 4 yrs………… ………………………………………………………………………………………………….So then again I let him stay to work it out. Now I just keep having thought and I sometimes just look at him like why am I even with you when you treat me this way and I feel hate. But then the next I can’t see how I can be with anybody else but him because we are so perfect together. Any advise as to what I should do at this point is very much appreciated. I have talked to friends and most say that I don’t deserve this and I should leave him because he will probably do that to me again. They say I am to beautiful and smart for him but the problem is I still love him with my all and I also may be pregnant. My period is late and even though we have been trying to get pregnant for a couple months I am now changing my mind and want to wait until we get married IF we ever make it work. I just don’t know how to proceed or what to do about the thoughts I get about him and his ex. Will I ever move on? Or should I just leave him and be happy alone? Please any kind of advise would help!!!! Sorry for the long post.

        COMMENT: It is not wise to live together prior to marriage, especially in a situation such as yours. IF A MAN LOVES YOU, LET HIM SHOW IT WITH A RING……and keep sex out of the equation until your honeymoon.

      112. 112
        Marissa Says:

        I am 30yrs old. I met this while working together. I’m a Training Store Restaurant Manager and he was one of my trainees. Our Relationship was strictly professional at first but then he started acting more personal, being way more attentive and sweet. We do not work for the same company, so Im not worried about mixing my feelings with my job. My question is how do I act towards him? I have suffered a lot because of failed relationships in the past and I have a lot of fears and doubts about Love in general. He is not married, no kids and apparently no relationship at the moment, though he receives many phone calls from women. Obviously I wont question that since we are not in a relationship yet. I have invite him out but he didn’t respond right away. He have mentioned that I intimidate him because of my Job. Please advice!!! Thanks

        COMMENT; You should inform him that you are not defined by your job, but by your essence, and for him it is the same. Secondly, let go of your doubts & fears, those are personal constraints that are hindering you. Understand this; because people are imperfect they will hurt each other in relationships, in this there is an opportunity to love each other with their shortcomings, and to love by way of forgiveness. You yourself have and will hurt someone, intentionally or not, it’s going to happen……this is where a couple needs to extend each other grace.

      113. 113
        Schatzi Says:

        My boyfriends ex fiance showed up at his front door 2 weeks ago. We have never even had an argument. We were planning our future together and now he is confused. She left him 27 years ago, when she left him, he was hurt so bad he became addicted to drugs and took years to get clean. He is a very good man, however not confused and hurting. He tells me he is in love with me, but part of him loves her too. He says that he is torn and doesn’t know what to do. I told him that I love him enough that I just want him to be happy. We are officially still a couple, however, are not talking very much cause he says he needs time to clear his mind. I am hurt, but I do Love Him… I told him that we can work through this, but it has to be his decision. I am praying several times a day hoping he makes the decision to continue with our future. Just not sure what to do anymore.. Help…

        UNDERSTANDING, first he has a deep pain from his past that he does need to resolve, his deep emotions have stirred up, and and he is confused at some level due to those emotions. Even so, you might need point out to him that after 27 years he really does not know this person, and that you now question his love for you. You say she showed up at the door, are you currently living together? IF A MAN LOVES YOU LET HIM GIVE YOU A RING BEFORE YOU GIVE YOURSELF AWAY!

      114. 114
        Isela Says:

        I have been dating a man for the past 3 years. I know he is not currently divorced, but he is living away from home and visits his two children and helps with finances as though he is divorced. However, I’ve asked him to speak out and let his family know about us. He tells me that he does not want his children despising me and chancing that he will hurt them. I don’t know what to do. I love him however, I don’t know if there ever will be a future for he and I? Every time I try and break it off I just can’t there is something holding me back. Is it because I am suppose to be there for him? Or is it stupidity?

        COMMENT: You know he is not currently divorced, which means he is still married right? Caution Flag, you have put yourself in a place of jeopardy, if a man is married, he is not single, he is not available. You need to quit thinking with your wallet, and with your emotions here, and use your brain. Simply put, you need to at least pull back to a place of safety for yourself, at least until a time that he is single, (if that should actually occur). When he is serious with you he can show you the divorce certificate, but you should not rush into this, (although you already have), because God does not want him to divorce, nor to commit adultery. And some of the past issues he has had in his married relationship will rise up once again in yours, unless you both seek wise counsel in advance. AND AGAIN: IF A MAN LOVES YOU AND VALUES YOU, LET HIM MARRY YOU!

      115. 115
        Queen Says:

        im 37 met this handsome loving man early last year and i thought this is man i’ve been looking for, after testing we had a beautiful sex life i got pregnant he was excited but i was very scared, during the whole process he was very supportive went with me to every doctor appointment but in the mean time i kept getting anonymous calls then one day this woman started swearing me telling me to leave her man alone since me and my boyfriend we very close i mentioned it to him he said it must be his ex, i trusted him and did not have any reason to doubt him on mother’s day she called again telling me that she has been staying with my boyfriend and she is pregnant i was devastated my daughter was two months then he said he stayed with her cause he was unemployed then and didn’t have a place to stay we broke up, after few weeks he begged telling me he loves me and he wants to be with me i forgave but still i knew this was wrong, he moved out of her place and went to stay with a friend i went there to see if its true and yes he stays there now this woman still keeps calling me and this is driving me crazy should i leave this man? please help

        COMMENT: There are choices in your life that you will have to make for yourself. However I will tell you that if you increase in wisdom, you will change your outcomes. Too many women jump into the sack with a man prior to marriage, only to become hurt later. Wise up, if a man loves you let him give you a ring, do not give yourself away until this time. CLEARLY… IF A MAN LOVES YOU AND VALUES YOU, LET HIM MARRY YOU!

      116. 116
        Peter Says:

        I really appreciate your site its pretty encouraging and interesting.

        I have a girl,she broke up with her boyfriend last year August to the point of fixing a wedding date and we met september that same yr.We got things rolling up till December when i started noticing some changes in her like she doesnt text me regularly as she should and had to be painting it with some excuses. I asked what happen she said nothing,begged her if i have offended her in anyway she said no that i havent,that i am caring,loving and etc,that she needs to take her time and think about somethings.suddently her communication level started dropping via calls and text,i called her,let her know she is hurting me,she said if i feel she is hurting me then she doesnt know,though left me with that question mark,i got confused if she is seeing another man or something,cant just figured it out.no she no longer call nor text,she said she want to deal with it on her own.i later looked back into how we’ve been and due to her change i also changed a little even though i never liked it,i tried to make her see that she can be happy again forever,last time i called her she said she doesnt like what i’m doing that why i’m i personalizing the whole thing,that she can do whatever she likes right now,i dont know what to do now everyday i think about her leaving me in pain and suffering.

        COMMENT: The more you focus on yourself and your pain, the more you push her away. There may be some things going on in her life that you are unaware of, and that she is not ready to talk with you about, because you think everything is about you. Try to be a friend, be there for her and quit being so bloody needy.

      117. 117
        Christine Says:

        I am 22 years old and I have been dating my bf for 8 months..just recently he has pulled away a bit and I am not sure why..I was texting him a bunch of times and he wasn’t replying so I started freaking out and eventually he responded and he was like I was at work, my phone was off, relaxxxx everything is fine..and then i felt extremely stupid so I apologized to try and make things better and he never accepted (or refused) my apology, so since that incident things have gone downhill…I keep telling myself I will wait for him to contact me but it is so hard because I really care about him..so last night I texted him and I said basically like do you want to stop seeing me just let me know and I swear I will leave you alone..and he responded by saying “wowww your driving my nuts” So its like he wont talk to me but he wont tell me its over either, so I dont know what to do..can you please help me? 🙁
        Sincerely, Christine

        RESPONSE: Your emotions are in overdrive a bit here, your insecurity with the situation is causing your reactions and responses. First you need to gain some understanding for yourself. Why are you so insecure? Do you doubt yourself? Have you received affirmation from your parents as to how much they love you? Is there an area of lack or of previous abuse that is rooted in your deep feelings. Take some time and review your inner self.

      118. 118
        Jade Says:

        I have a boyfriend that lives in Germany for college, we’ve been going through a lot over the past 2-3 years. We’ve broken up a few times but got back together, we’re still together and he tells me that he’s about to graduate and wants to move back to the states and stuff like that, well i have feelings that he might just be saying that and is lying about our relationship and is with someone else. I don’t want to sound like i don’t trust him because i do, the only thing that is scaring me is not being able to meet him. I guess we’re supposed to get married but i don’t know when. what should i do without breaking up with him or even make him think that i don’t trust him?

        RESPONSE: First get honest with yourself, you do not trust him and you are insecure. Try to look into your deep feelings to understand what the source of your insecurity is, it may not be him. Have people made you to feel less than them, have you been degraded by others? Do you lack affirmation from your parents, mother and/or father? You need to start at the source in order to understand the root issue.

      119. 119
        kyra Says:

        Hi..my one and half year relationship with my boyfriend ended last night and im so shattered i dont know where else to turn to.. Im 28 and he’s 31,we both are matured enough and have secure jobs, the first few months after we dated he told me that after breaking up with his ex he did not get much space he needs to get over her before dating me..so he told me he needed some space and wants to break up for a while, i gave him the space he needed though he used to text me once a while during that time, which i usually do not respond he also tried to catch me online saying “are u there”, “hey” etc. (i saw the offlines). After a month, he came around saying he’s ready, after that we started dating, i loved him a lot so did he, all he talk about was building our future,he wanted to get married this year. I used to ask him about his ex, he said he’s over her (which i think is the truth) and that the only thing that he wish her for is happiness. I haven’t had a serious relationship before, the few times i dated i ended up broken heart. Since this relationship had been longer than before and since we were happy together, loving each other, i was sure he was the one. He had talked about building our future, talked about marriage he said he wanted to get married this year, i said im not ready this year because of some issues – i have 3 brothers, im the only girl, my mom insist one of them get married first. But, i told him even if they don’t get married this year we’ll get married next year, he was okay with it but said he’s getting older and wanted to settle down soon. He was caring and loving,we were connected and happy with each other though we had our ups and downs. But,from few weeks back we didn’t see each other, all he said was he was too busy with work.. i thought he needed some space, and left him there sometimes not speaking to each other for two days. I sense something was wrong and text him that we need to talk, he told me to come online where he told me he was confused about our relationship, and that he felt he’s not good enough for me, he said if we get married we maybe a perfect couple but he’s not sure if he can give me the perfect love, he said he did not give his whole heart in our relationship and that if we give each other space maybe we will find out whether we are meant to be together. I said we can work things out now without breaking up by taking things slowly,I told him if we break up i don’t think i would want to come back, because we have broken up before, but he still said he wants to break up now and wait for fate to play its game he said if we are meant to be together we’ll come around, he said that there’s no one he is seeing now and do not want to go out with anyone, he asked me never to close my heart for him because he’s confused right now and that he may want to come back again.. i thought everything was so real, and that all we are waiting for is starting a family, but this is where it ends.. im so heartbroken, my chest feels so heavy right now, i want to scream and cry and i cant even cry it hurts too much , i keep thinking the happy times we had, the promises we made.. it hurts so much, i see my dreams shattered, my happiness gone, i cant imagine my life without him.help me please, should i wait for him?

        COMMENT: It is more important to understand than it is to be understood. You are voicing your hurts, pains, and desires but missing where he is at altogether. He has not healed completely from his previous relationship and his self-esteem appears to have taken a hit from that relationship. He would probably not admit it though, guys like to be quiet about things and internalize them themselves. Besides that issue, is the thing about your mom’s desire for one of your brothers to get married before you do may also appear to be an issue with him. Due to his low self-esteem he may be taking that as “your not sure, or not ready.” Frankly, it should not have anything to do with your mother’s wishes, she can not live your life, that is more of a control issue with mom than a love issue in your relationship. I would suggest you work on being a friend first, open the door and be there for him, be supportive and encouraging. Stop trying to push your desires on him, and leave sex out of the equation.

      120. 120
        ash Says:

        Hie… I started going out with a guy from this march. Suddenly he has to go to Dubai to see his parents and initially he had to come in may end but it postponed to July. He started behaving with me wierdly but i kept on trying to make the things better. One day out of frustration i asked him whats going wrong on his part and asked him . He said me its very tough in long distance and wanted some time. He took an hour or so and then said me he wanted to breakup. I tried to convince him a lot but he didnt. I love him really. Its being a month now we are no longer in contact. I thought he would feel my absence but i was wrong. What should i do to get him back?

        COMMENT: There is really too much lacking information, however it does appear that he made a choice to move on. Perhaps he had someone else in mind already? If he is not contacting you then it would say that he did not have the feelings for you that you had for him. Again, a good reason why not to give yourself away before marriage.

      121. 121
        azra Says:

        hope to hear from you sooner..
        i have been in a relationship for 4years now.. i know i love him.. Like every relationship, there are instances that you argue with each other and be okay again overnight.. But I think, with those arguments we already had, there’s wrong.. I dont know if it is I who has a problem or him.. He is a seafarer for almost 3 years now.. and he goes home once a year.. I only see him for 3-4months a year.. But when he’s home, he always wants to go out with his friends.. Good side of him is that, he asks me but when i said “NO” he always insist me to say yes.. The reason why I dont like him to go out is because, he always tells me that they have reunion.. everytime he goes out with his friends, that is his reason.. good if he has only one group of friends.. he actually has many groups.. so if i estimate the days he wants to go out, probably, 3times a week.. how could that be? how about his time for me? is one-day reunion not enough? im so sad of that because, honestly, i want to be with him as much as we have the opportunity to be with each other because i know we will not get to see each other again when he goes to work.. his contract is 10 months.. i tried to let him understand.. i talked to him about this but he seemed like he doesnt care..

        He is at work now and when i opened my Facebook, i saw a newly uploaded album by his friend.. when i opened the album, i remember that that was the time when we quarreled because i didnt like him to go out.. and all i knew was he really didnt go anymore.. as i clicked to another picture, i saw him in the pic.. and i got really shocked upon seeing it because all i knew for more than a month was he was never with them then.. so i mailed him about it.. i told him how i got hurt.. and its bad because he never said sorry instead he got mad..

        i really love him but i made a decision not to talk with him for a while.. but we didnt break up.. i just wanted to find answers to my questions why? im not selfish.. i just want to spend his time with me when we have the opportunity to be together physically.. what am i going to do? how can i let him understand that? please help me.. help help help!!!

        RESPONSE: Well look, you want relationship, but you apparently were not ready to wait for marriage. If a man says he loves you, let him buy you a ring. Until then, save yourself for someone who will respect you and your needs.

      122. 122
        Kayla Says:

        So my birthday is coming up, and I’m thinking about asking for a promise that happens to cost $88 from my boyfriend. We have been going out for a little over 7 months. Is this TOO much to ask for? I mean I even looked for rings at WALMART so it didn’t seem like TOO much. I’ll be turing 16 and he is 19. Should I ask for it? Part of me feels like I’ll be kind of greedy if I do but after he buys me one I will buy him one…Should I ask him for it or not? PLEASE HELP!

        RESPONSE: First ask yourself why you are so insecure in asking? Why are you so judgmental of yourself? I do not know you, but I know your worth at least $88 plus tax! Have a look at these promise rings.

      123. 123
        tre Says:

        I’m 25 years old. I’m about to enter into a relationship
        with a guy he cares about me and and says all the that he loves me and wants to spend his life with me, he is asking me for marriage..he was married before about two years ago and he is divorced now.. but the problem is that sometimes I feel that he still has feelings for her, even he says all the time that he is regretful and that he wish he never met her or marry her.. and tells me that he want to start a new life with me … I don’t know how to make sure that he truly loves me and not thinking about her… please help me
        best regards,

        RESPONSE: First ask yourself why you are insecure in this relationship, have you had similar relationships such as this that failed? You need to resolve your issue, insecurity. Then you need to understand that in starting new the same old issues will arise on BOTH SIDES, yours and his. You want to win at relationship? Seek insight, get wisdom, gain understanding together, and seek Christian counsel before you marry.
        Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage would be a great place for you both to begin really understanding each other, while laughing about it along the way, it’s a true comedy!

      124. 124
        thomas Says:

        MY Girlfriend is 41yrs of age and i am 35 is that a problem ?

        REPLY: Why would it be?

      125. 125
        Gizelle Says:

        I have been married to my high school sweet heart for 5 years. We are going through what I call a rough patch. Constantly bickering and fighting over small things and bad attitudes towards each other. Recently he has started talking to other females, not in a very respectful way for me. What is your opinion on where our relationship is heading? I am stuck on what I should do for myself and my children.

        RESPONSE: Life is all about learning to love within the context of relationships. So, how is your love doing? It’s not perfect, cause your not perfect, and neither is his. Understanding is the single biggest key, did you see the link on top of the page asking you if your relationship is worth $45. Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom, though it costs you all you have, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7

      126. 126
        Elizabeth Says:

        I need help my boyfriend and I are both bi and well he’s wanting to take hormones to be more feminine but i really don’t want him to cuz of how our families will react. so he’s willing to compromise if i can come up with something that can take take the place of the hormones. any ideas?

        Yeah, read the bible! Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom.

      127. 127
        Elizabeth Says:

        Hi My boyfriend and I (over 50) have been together for over 3 years, we broke up and have just reunited again because there is so much love between us…he has cheated on me two times in the past, stays in contact with one of them and now he has a bunch of female “friends” that he texts and emails all day. He says they are just friends and that I’m the one he loves. Am I blind? If this is true, and I work on forgiveness doesn’t he have to let go of these friendships? I’m confused on how to make us fix us, which we both honestly want. Please help me, I’m so lost and hurt. 11/16

        RESPONSE: Often times forgiveness requires repentance as a prerequisite, and in your case it should. First, do not let your emotions fool you, there is NOT “so much love between you”. If there was the cheating would not have happened. There may be much LUST between you, or infatuation, but certainly some selfishness in order for one to cheat. Secondly, you will now be insecure about any woman relating to this guy in any way. And because of this, you will also be afraid of future hurts in the same manner. Be wise, heal, and do not let your hurts get in the way of your future, in other words, don’t decide that all guys are this way, instead look for ones that value you in friendship first! What did I just say? Do not give yourself away prematurely like you did in this relationship… when you give yourself away the guy will just take what he gets and run with it, understand?
        Find someone who values you and loves you in friendship, then let him say so with a ring!

      128. 128
        bianchi di carpio Says:

        I’m a Christian but my boyfriend is not. I’m trying to helping to become a christian but he says he’s not ready for that yet. Its hard to explain that God doesn’t approve fornication. I love him n he does too. What I should do?

        RESPONSE: To love someone does not mean that they must be a part of your life as your flesh desires. You can not change him to fit your mold, or to be the man God wants him to be, that is Gods job. Too many women fall into this trap, afraid of losing what they think is “their love”, they give themselves away and pay the price when they leave. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

      129. 129
        ESTEE Says:

        BEST REGARDS!!!

        COMMENT: No one can make your choices for you, but you should understand that you will be insecure about him now, and that it will take time to build up trust again. Trust is at the main foundation of the relationship, once it is shattered it takes time to rebuild. Abstain from sex until you are married, otherwise you disrespect yourself and allow others to do the same.

      130. 130
        serena Says:

        hi deer. my name is serena. my bf and i going out for 1 years 7 months now. we really love each other. The problem is that we lack self control when it comes to sex. we want to get registered cz we don’t want to be in danger. but our parents not allowing us to be registered. we were thinking of getting married next year but we cant wait any longer. is getting registered wrong ? what should i do?

        Answer: You lack self control because you lust. Control Yourself, if you are not in control of yourself then who is? You can abstain, it is a choice. Develop a deep friendship, learn about each other, sex is not the foundation to set a relationship on, when the sex fails you will need something more meaningful. Get married first.

      131. 131
        Daniel Says:

        Does God lead us to our soul mate/match? I heard some stories where people pray for certain characteristics for their ideal match, and they happen to meet someone like that. But can he physically show the person to me? And also I know we have free will, but is it unrealistic to pray for a connection with someone you like?

        Answer: Sometimes the one that God has for us is right in front of our eyes and we do not see it. Other times, it has yet to come. My suggestion is this, invest your time in God, He will not lead you astray. Pray for clarity, direction and then be willing to follow Him. Let Him direct your paths.

      132. 132
        arijit Says:

        hi friends. its very good to see you guys revealing your problems and others solving. hopefully all were the same.anyway i come to my point.
        i had a relation with a girl for 2.5 years and she lives just 2 / 3 houses by my home. but after 1 year i faced some problems. firstly we used to quarrel for futile things.. and even she did not want to calm down and fix it nor did i.. secondly she had a friend and he proposed her. i did not like it.. i told her to keep some distance with him but she turned a deaf ear. she used to roam with him..went for bike riding even called him to her home without informing me..and when i asked she used to lie to me. i know i was a little possessive but i believe she should at least care to my words..any way 6 month earlier she broke up with me giving some damn family problem.. even i cut my wrist for her. any way after 1 month she did contact me again..but within one month again she broke up for that guy (her friend) cause i by mistake miss called him..even she was with a condition that after getting a job[ my dream is to get into INDIAN MILITARY ACADEMY through CDS EXAM and it would take 3 years to complete training]. after that i got into a relation with another girl of my area whom she could not tolerate. some days before she called me again and cried to forgive her. but i did not pay any attention and abused her.. coz i cant hurt my new gf coz although knowing all my past she stand by me and she loves me a lot.but now a days its hurting me a lot and i am in a doubt what to do…should i go back to her or stay with present? did i do right ignoring 2.5 year relation for a 3 month relation? my parents do know nothing but knew all past even she used to come to my home and had a good relation with my parents………i cant love my new gf 100% for that situation. its hurting me, i cant forget her……i know this is too long to read,but please help me.. its making me closer to death, thats true. please help me…,,,,,thnx in advance

        REPLY: First clean the inside of the cup so that the outside may be clean. You should seek professional assistance, you did not cut your wrist for her, you cut it out of your own pain. Now, it is more important to understand than it is to be understood. With this in mind, you should increase in your understanding and wisdom after you get your emotions under control.

      133. 133
        Ndzi Says:

        please i’m engaged to this gentle man and i will like you to help and tell me what the bible really say about conviction i.e if he is the right partner

        REPLY: What is the source of your doubt? Answer that question honestly for yourself. Then pray to God and ask Him to direct your steps.

      134. 134
        Marie Says:

        Hello my name is Marie, my question is do leave your husband who loves you because lack of sex also him being selfish? or most of all since we gat married he will not foreplay with me or care about my sexual needs. I am the kinda women who loves to please without asking anything in return but its now been 6 months since he has pleased me sexually. In other aspect he is the best husband any women would want. Please help me understand since I am so sad and depress because I dont know if I want to live this way for the rest of my life.
        Sincerely Marie.
        God Bless

        RESPONSE: There is far more to love than just sex. You say he is selfish, but you complain that he has not pleased you??? As to the sexual aspect; Have you asked him why? Is he older? Could there be a testosterone issue? Has he been to a doctor? Have the both of you been to a counselor?

      135. 135
        Peter Says:

        A couple of months ago, my friend asked me to go with his sister to prom, and said “she thinks I’m cute.” I could not go to prom, however, because of another event. She’s always been in the back of my mind, but I never really thought about her until recently. For some reason, now, I’ve had an attraction to her, and I don’t even know her personally. I think she’s cute, but that’s it. The only thing that’s really pulling me towards her is that she wanted to go to prom with me. Should I text my friend (her brother) I am interested in meeting her? I have been trying to go to parties that she goes to, but I haven’t gotten the chance. How can I get this girl? My friends seem to think that I should be able to get her, but the wait is killing me.

        RESPONSE: Your a man, take a stand, quit doubting yourself so much and ASK HER YOURSELF.

      136. 136
        Daniel Says:

        There is this girl, you see, she calls me her best friend, but never even takes the time to even call me. Just a single little text message in 2 weeks tops could make my day..
        From day 1 that i met her i have felt this strange attraction, she pulls me closer to her without even wanting to.. She probably doesn’t even know. I can’t stop thinking about her, she is in my mind everyday. I just can’t help it. I care too much or something, i don’t know man, i’m so confused.. Do i love her? Do i hate her? What is this? Some kind of obsession?
        When she talks about the guys she’s been with, and when she flirts with guys, i get mad and jealous to the point that i want to hurt her.
        When she hurts me, it hurts more than anything in the world. She soothes me, but at the same time she makes me insane.
        She is in my mind all the time. And there is not a single thing i can do about it. I hate her so much, but at the same time i worship her.. She makes me so crazy. Her eyes hypnotize me.. Her smiles makes me warm.. Her smell makes me insane.. Her body makes me horny as hell.
        I can feel that i am eating less. My energy feels drained, and i feel numb all the time. And the things i used to do that once brought me great joy, now only bore me.. Why can’t i stop thinking about her?

        RESPONSE: You first need to deal with your jealousy issue, then either make a move, ask her out, tell her how you feel, or hang around on the sidelines while someone else does.

      137. 137
        Amanda Says:

        I am writing this letter to you tonight because I am in need of some serious guidance. My name is Amanda and I'm an 18 year old college student from Pennsylvania. I've been in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend Brett for 2 and a half years before we recently broke up in September. I am going to try to be as brief as I can, but I must include details in order for you to understand fully. Brett was a guy that I thought I would never be attracted to. He was just one of those guys that complimented you and accepted them just to be nice. But one day, we actually spent time together and I found myself falling in love with him. I was 16, he was 18. When we decided to pursue a relationship, he was nice at first, but then started to make promises he didn't keep and ditched me a lot. He would only call me when it was convenient for him. He only would hangout with me when he felt like it. I started to get the hint, and then one morning out of the blue he just said "We're Done." I asked him why but I didn't get a reply. I didn't hear from him for about a month and a half after that, but he was with other women the whole time. Many different women. When he started contacting me again it was like heaven on Earth. He actually started to be sincere with me about his feelings. He really was falling in love with me, which was exciting for me because I was always in love with him. Things started going great! We took a trip to New York together, spent Christmas and New Years together and spent almost everyday together. My dreams were coming true. However, we did fight a lot during these times. And I mean A LOT, but we always got through it. This was happening up until May of this year. I went on vacation for a week and the day I came back, we had a fight. I guess we were broken up because out of anger I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore. Next thing I knew, he was calling my the next day telling me that a girl gave him oral sex that night. He was very very very guilty. I was so angry that I said very nasty things. I agreed to meet him and I guess I decided to forgive him. We both worked on our relationship then, but it was still a little shaky because I could NOT get over the fact that he had, what I consider, cheated on me. Ever since that day he told me about his thoughts out of nowhere, which was his guilty conscience. We would be having a great day and he would bring it up because he was guilty. It was ruining us. We had another big fight in July and his half-sister was in from West Virginia. He had been drinking a lot and that night he had sex with her! I was bewildered! After he did, he sent himself to the pysch ward,and I was just so shocked. After I had mulled it over, I panicked and let him back into my life because I knew we could work it out. Low and behold, we still fought because he couldn't ignore his guilt and I couldn't let the actions go. We lived this make-up break-up life up until September. We had another fight and he was out at the bar and he kissed two women. I thought that was the last straw for me. I told him to leave me alone and that I was really truly done. He didn't try to contact me for 2 weeks after that. I accepted some of his calls and texts, so now he won't stop texting me. It's making me rethink my decision and I really don't know what to do. I can't live this life forever, but I don't have it in my heart to let him go. He swears and swears he will stop and he will change, but "not until he gets me back." What an immature statement I know, but there is something wrong with him if he had sex with his half-sister. He won't go get help until he "gets me back" but I want to take this time for me and have a fresh sense of the situation but the hurt doesn't ever go away. The good memories are hurting my heart. When he texts me, I just feel so emotionally exhausted. I love him but I don't know if he deserves another chance. When he contacts me, I either react two ways. I am either angry and lash out or I feel sad. I am just so emotionally damaged, I don't know which way is up. I love him so much, but I know if he loved me the way he says he does, this would have never happened, OR he would've changed by now.. I don't know what to do. I find myself almost wanting to agree to see him when he asks, even though we haven't seen each other for over a month. I've tried to picture myself with other men, but I just am NOT attracted to anyone else. I am wondering if that feeling ever goes away? I don't know if I can ever stop loving him. HELP 🙁

        RESPONSE: You ever heard of the saying; If it happens once it their fault, if it happens twice it’s my fault? What about if it happens 10 times, whose fault is it? One big issue for you is that you are thinking with your emotions, not with your head. When you get done banging your head on the wall repeatedly, you will stop due to the great pain you caused yourself. The under current here is SEX, you should not give yourself away until marriage, you allow others to disrespect you when you do. And many guys, only come a knockin when they want sex, I am sure you know what I mean.

      138. 138
        Kevin Says:

        I am a senior in highschool. I am currently in a very difficult situation that i need help with. One of my friends has a girlfriend. This girl has two other good friends, Amy and Rachael. One of her friends, Amy, has a huge crush on me and her friends are always pushing for us to go out. The truth is, I have no interst in Amy, but the part I can’t handle is that I really really like Rachael. I can’t stop thinking about her. I am not positive but i have a feeling that Rachael likes me too because she is always smiling and looking at me although she also pushes for me and Amy to go out. I feel she is doing this just to help her friend out. Last weekend Rachael, Amy, one of my friends, and I hung out. I got pretty drunk and was doing some ridiculous things. But Rachael and Amy couldn’t stop laughing. Since Amy and I were suppose to be “together” rachael and my friend, by default, were too. The only thing they did was hold hands for a bit but i didnt see much of a spark between them. The next morning I was depressed about what happened between them, and my friend told me how Rachael couldnt stop talking about how funny i was. This raised my hopes. What do I do? I dont want Amy to feel bad but I have such strong feelings for Rachael. I want to talk to Rachael alone about how I feel about her. The four of us are planning to hang again in a few nights and I need to know if I should tell her if I get the chance…I also dont want my friend to get close to Rachael again because I will just be depressed again. Please help me out?

        COMMENT: Well if you don’t do anything, somebody else will. Now, what are you getting drunk for? That will only impede your judgement. Why pretend to like someone if you do not? Why not tell Rachael that you would rather spend some time with her? Find a time when you can discreetly ask Rachael out and quit playing the silly game.

      139. 139
        Khushi Says:

        There is this guy in my class and I’m sure that I’m in love with him. I got to know him 1 and a half year ago when i found out that he was in my class. I thought he was cute, nothing else. We talked very rarely and even if we did, it was about “have you done your homework?”. But this year, it wasn’t as usual. Our teacher made us sit together and we became very good friends. I fell for him at that times. I told my friend about this and she ended up telling him about my feelings. His reply was that he just liked me as a friend. It broke my heart, and tore it to pieces. I love him alot. But, we don’t really talk much. I love him and whenever I see him with a girl, I can’t help myself but let out tears escape from my eyes. I cry at night and I don’t know what to do. Should i keep thinking that he would love me back or do I push myself to let him go? 🙁

        REPLY: If you love someone, let them go.. that is what love would do.
        What you want, is all about you. To love someone requires you to focus on their needs, not yours. Be a good friend and make more friends!

      140. 140
        david Says:

        I have a question and hope someone can offer me some insight. I recently told this girl that i loved her. I did not get a response from her yet. She is very emotionally hurt from the past. Even though she has not said anything about her feelings yet, she still wants to spend time with me. Do you think she feels the same way considering that she knows how i feel and still seems to want me in her life. She has said over and over she is afraid of being hurt.

        REPLY: She has a fear to commit because of her previous pain, which has not healed. Slow down a little, you do not have to have a reply just because you said you love her. You want to hear it, but real love is given and does not require anything in return. Sounds like you will need to be patient and understanding, which also requires love. But ask yourself this question: Why does she want to spend time with me?

      141. 141
        Kierra Says:

        My friend of 9 months says he likes me a LOT but is not in love with me. We did things that people do in a relationship all the time. Saw each other every day, always around each others family, text and talked all day long, he spent time with my son, it was all perfect. We even decided to cut all of out other friends off so that we could work towards a relationship. Well things sort of changed. We began to argue a lot. Our work schedules made it hard for us to see each other but when we would have time to be together, he would already have plans with his family. Hes a BIG family guy, so this kinda stared arguing and conflict. He invited me around his family but no female wants to be around his 20 guy cousins watching football and talking around the barn fire ALL THE TIME. He recently said that maybe we should take a step back and just be friends but he doesnt want me out his life completely. He said that I did everything a man could ask for so I shouldnt blame myself that hes just not “READY”. What should i do? How can I be friends with someone I love? Ive stop answering his text because its confusing to me. Should I go with the flow and be his friend until he is ready or should i just cut him off completely? Its been a week and I still cry. Its so hard and I miss him so much but being just a friend seems impossible right now. Its like he cares about me and my son a lot but just isnt ready to be serious. Funny thing is this is the same reason him and his previous friend stop talking. She got tired of just being a friend. So what should I do? Continue to be a friend to him without being around him or just go my separate way…..I mean i did everything for him, cooked, clean, take him lunch to work, cracked jokes all day long, I was there whenever he needed me but his response is always “Its not you, ITS ME. Im just not READY” *sighs* help me please

        REPLY: Answering your question would be enlightening: “How can I be friends with someone I love?” Now, think about that some…. How can you NOT be friends with someone you love? You say you did everything a man could ask for, really? Do you really know what that would entail? Most women try to love a man the way a woman thinks it should be done, but in order to love someone, you need to love them where they need it, not where you think is best. Now, did you give yourself away as well? Did the last girl do that as well? Is there a pattern in my questioning?

      142. 142
        Johanne Says:

        I’m 20 years old and I’ve been dating this boy for almost half a year now, and he’s so nice and wonderful to me, and i care about him more than i’ve cared for any other boy, but theres still a part of me that longs to be single. I love having my independence and feel that I’m so young that i should enjoy being young and single and not get into anything that’s too serious. Our relationship is good, but stresses me out because i can tell its getting more and more serious and i don’t know if I’m ready for this kind of relationship, but, i do really, really care for him, and he’s not only someone i think of romantically, but i also think of him as a good friend. I’m very torn and confused and would like some advice. Should I ignore these feelings and tell myself I’m being stupid, or am should i break of the relationship because I’m really just not ready for this a serious relationship?

        REPLY: You fear that you will have to give up some freedoms by deepening your relationship. What freedoms might these be? You should get honest with yourself! You could miss out on a beautiful long lasting relationship because your focus was on yourself. What if the guy was with another woman tomorrow? How would you feel about that? Would you still be worrying about your freedoms?

      143. 143
        John Says:

        I am a university student. I dated my junior and during that duration, I treated her with the best of my ability. But I made 1 fatal mistake. I teased her too much. She broke up with me last few weeks. Ever since then, I can’t concentrate in everything. I cannot afford to lose her. I had force myself to let go and move on. But I really can’t do it. She had been ignoring me till now. She meant so much to me. Please… I need her… I need help..

        REPLY: Well, what did you tease her about? Belittling was it? You want her back, be honest and admit that you need help in dealing with your shortcoming. Then, get on your hands and knees and ask for forgiveness.

      144. 144
        akhil Says:

        hello everyone,

        I am an asian student in some usa university. i really like a girl over there, she is a pretty good friend of mine but she has a boyfriend. I really like her, in fact i have drawn 2 very beautiful paintings for her. I just wanted to know should i give those paintings to her or not, will it affect my friendship with her as she has a boyfriend. Moreover i am very shy and that she is from different country, i feel very less confident about her. But i really like her, i just hope if she doesn’t become my girlfriend, she at least becomes a very good friend of mine. Your help will be highly appreciated.

        Thank YOU

        REPLY: Your fear of rejection is standing in your way, this is something you need to overcome. In life you will face rejection,
        you need to learn how to cope with it. A rejection is a re-direction, rejection deflects you to another place. Look, love gives without strings attached, so give her the paintings without any expectations. That without substance can enter where there is no room.

      145. 145
        Marissa Says:

        I’ve been dating a guy for 8 months now and the way things are going I can tell we will be together for a long time. But a few nights ago I hung out with a guy friend and we watched a movie and I slept over at his house. Sleeping over wasn’t planned we just happened to fall asleep. Nothing happened at all we didn’t even cuddle or anything. I dont want anything to happen between me and my guy friend, i am in love with my boyfriend. But I feel so guilty cause if my boyfriend knew i slept over it would kill him. I don’t know what to do now. Like nothing happened and I’m not attracted to my friend so should I still tell my boyfriend? Im just scared it will damage our relationship, Or should I just leave it since nothing happened and its just a friend?

        REPLY: Well if you are so worried about this, how did you let yourself end up in this situation? WHY ARE YOU WITH ANOTHER GUY WHEN YOU SAY YOUR IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE? Time to get honest with yourself.

      146. 146
        Dom Says:

        I need some serious advice. i don’t know if its just me or if its natural. Me and a girl, we are in love.We are in college and have been together for 1 year now. Whenever i see her, i have an urge to hug and kiss her. I want her to be close to me, to touch me. We have been intimate twice or thrice. Is it okay to have the urge to be intimate whenever she is with me alone? I thought she too thought so but have now discovered that it was not the case. She had expressed it openly recently. Is it okay for me to feel so or is there some problem with me?

      147. 147
        Guide Says:

        REPLY: You lust her, there is nothing in what you say that has to do with love,
        only sexual attraction, & sexual attraction is pretty natural. However, a meaningful
        relationship it does NOT make.

      148. 148
        james Says:

        There is this female who I care about deeply I found out she has stage 4 cancer of her ovaries she hasn’t told me I have facebooked her and text message her no response she doesn’t know that I know what gives?

        COMMENT: Stop thinking about why she isn’t contacting you, it’s not about you. Consider what she must be going thru, what if you had stage 4 cancer of your testicles?

      149. 149
        Ash Says:

        Haha only if you can be bothered reading…

        So I’m Wondering about this guy, when we first met we were 13 in High School, he’s complimented me over the years and stood up for me in some kind of way, and also touched me once, and also chatted very few times. And now we are 16.

        Okay now i have been known to be the shy, quiet, unpopular girl, and he is like the popular, loud, outgoing guy… He’s like loud in class and “tries to be funny” i guess but this is usually when he’s with his friends, when he’s alone he is fine, i know because i have experienced it^^.
        Alright… the things i have noticed is that every Athletics that i’ve had he has always stared/looked at me, eg: This year he would look over at me a lot from a distance on the field, he would look then look away then look and then look away… but never approach or talk to me.
        Also his friend told my friends that he liked me and i asked my friend to tell him if he liked me in any way, and he replied with a no. So if his friend was “joking?” then i dont know why they would of made it up about me and nobody else. He’s had girlfriends over the past but they were popular and outgoing.

        Also i think i noticed him smile at me when we were walking past to change classes and he was alone at the time, and seen him from far away looking at me in a crowed, and maybe i have seen his feet pointing in my direction too. Thing is he is loud in class and asks a lot of questions he sits at the back with his friends, like i have always thought he was the shy guy because he’s not doing anything but by him doing all this then… i have no clue.

        But honestly i just don’t know what’s going on right now… i kinda wanna know, and im confused So hmm is there a sign that he likes me or?

        COMMENT: You are looking really hard, perhaps too hard, your statement; “maybe i have seen his feet pointing in my direction too” might be a bit overboard you know? A suggestion, next time you catch him staring at you, why don’t you wave him over and ask him about it? Or perhaps put out your arms to your sides as if to say; “what are you waiting for?” Either of those may clear some confusion.

      150. 150
        Celine Says:

        I don’t understand this, This guy is being rude/mean or a smartass to me, when honestly i didn’t do anything, sometimes he will single me out, or make me feel uncomfortable or insecure by what he says. We are both 16 going on 17 like i thought he would of matured a bit because he is nice to everybody else that i’ve noticed. He either get’s along with them or is friends with them, im a shy and quiet person, and hes loud and popular. Its weird because his friend said he liked me and when my friend asked him if it were true he said no, so maybe he’s giving them the intention that he doesn’t like me because he doesnt want to get found out, or is just trying to be “cool/tough?.” And it makes me feel like he is noticing me, when he’s making those slightly rude or smart remarks. Also he looks at me a lot, and he lent up against a wall when i was standing around, but we never talk, and if he does make a rude comment id what to say or it doesnt give me enough time to come up with something, and really it’s just out of blue, so like im never expecting that it’s going to happen. Help? :S

        COMMENT: Anyone who degrades or belittles others is someone to avoid, and ignore. People like that do not make for good relationships.

      151. 151
        Melody Amber Says:

        I still love my ex dont know what to do.

        Comment: Did you do something that you need to make right? Did you let him know how you feel? Have you tried to contacting him?

      152. 152
        louis oliver Says:

        Was I falling in love? For a few months I’ve been talking to a co worker of mine ,knowing she is married, I always felt attracted to her and was obviously blunt about it to the point of me telling her although we went out I always kept in mind she was married and never made a move on her. She started talking to another guy at work and after telling me she couldn’t go out with me to eat anymore because her husband didnt approve of it , she literally skipped work to go to this guys house. The moment I saw her get out of the car I felt my heart sink and even though I always knew she was married I never thought of her actually doing something like that, I guess I was expecting to be the guy she liked but ended up being friend zoned along the way.

        REPLY: You are better off, she sounds like a real heart breaker, one who in not faithful. If she is not faithful in her marriage, do you really think she would be faithful to you?

      153. 153
        A.J Harper Says:

        I had my first girlfriend a few months back. It was so serious, and it felt like it really was going to last a lifetime. Both of us were really loyal and did not even look at someone else. She broke up with me, one fine day due to insecurity, whereas it was so stupid, because I’m so stupid that I can never find someone else. She has found some other guy, but she even told me that she was happier with me and that she knows that nobody can love her more than I have been. I still love her so much. I am sick of my life, I feel alone and incomplete, I am a loner and do not even have many friends. I have resorted to smoking and sleeping pills to keep myself together. I will not do anything else until I get her back, because I really love her. How do I make her realize that everything can be perfect again, and how do I get her back?

        REPLY: She told you that she was happier with you… and what did you do, nothing? Stop focusing on your pain and consider pursuing with love.

      154. 154
        Justin Says:

        Here there! I am requesting the editors of this website to answer my question i had asked recently….so kindly i am requesting to answer my quiz soon…..i hope so.

        REPLY: In life you need to learn to control your emotions, & you will have to make decisions for your life…. If you need direction in your life, first seek God, and with that will come wisdom as well as the love that your heart desires.

      155. 155
        mike Says:

        Okay so this is long.
        I am currently engaged to an amazing woman, we have been together for almost three years and we are getting married in October. We shard a lot of our life goals, we get along great, you could say it’s the perfect relationship.
        When I was little I met someone online, I was 11 she was 10. We used instant messaging and eventually video cameras, we talked on the phone, she was the perfect girl. We became close friends and we talked that if we didn’t live in different countries we would happily be together, we kept talking for years and years. I got a girlfriend here and she got highly upset, we understood nothing could ever happen due to the distance but those feelings were and always have been there. We kept in touch, I became single and just kept our dynamic. Suddenly a possibility for us to meet happened as my best friend often goes to where she lives, he is from there. I met my fiance and I kept in touch with my friend, but we never addressed the elephant in the room. Over the weekend she was able to come close to me and without a question I drove with my friend to meet her, my fiance knows we are friends but not of the deep feelings. I was happy I could finally meet this girl I basically grew up with, that I cared so much for….but all those feelings came with it as well. Didnt cheat on my fiance, it was hard not to, the chemistry was there, the feelings, the mood, everything even better than we always dreamed of. She is leaving back to her country soon but she might, most likely, end up moving to the US if not that city maybe even closer to where I live.
        I love my fiance, but I also love this girl that possibly knows me better than anyone. I know nothing with her could ever happen, but I dont know what to do with these feelings. Only my best friend knows of this situation and he helped but this is such a peculiar scenario that I don’t know how to deal with it. I can’t stop loving any of them and I am getting married but I want to have my friend in my life.

        REPLY: You can not have your cake and it eat too! Who are you kidding, Saying you love both of them? You apparently do not love either, you need to learn what love is, because love is not focused on oneself.

      156. 156
        Ankit Says:

        had a crush on a girl, i proposed her. But she told me that it is just an attraction not Love. Since than we couldn’t talk or meet due to some family problems.
        Now after two years, she contacted me, and she has a Love letter which i have given her two years ago. At first I thought she also likes me, but when I asked to her why did you keep this letter with you, she replied ” Last sentence is too inspiring and she reads it many times”.
        I feel I still love her and my feelings are same as it was before, one strange thing is – I never felt such feelings for any other girl in my life.
        What should I do, she loves me or not ?????
        It really disturbing me, not able to concentrate on my work, my mind always think about her.

        COMMENT: You are the man, develop some confidence, look to build a foundation of friendship and spend time with her. Show her you have interest without worrying about her feelings so much.

      157. 157
        Priya Says:

        I had a crush a crush in my senior school years, two years to be precise. He seemed interested in me. I thought college would separate us. He seemed to have forgotten me in the last year of school. But on the first day of college, I met him, I was supposed to shift colleges. Due to circumstances, I stayed. That day, he for the first time said hi, in school all we did was look at each other. And after that first day, I got to talk to him once. But after that, I made a new friend and we ended up in a relationship. Due to mutual friends, my crush confirmed that I did like him back in school. Everything was fine with my bf till my crush started staring at me again. Almost everyday and last week he even came to our class. My bf got jealous and I felt I still had feelings for my crush. Now he’s distancing himself away from me and I cried so much when he avoided me fully. I am confused. My bf loves me a lot. I don’t wanna leave him since he’ll be really sad without me. But I also feel responsible for my crush and his distancing. Whenever I see him, I feel like crying. So yesterday, I told myself that I’ll love my bf like how I did and help my crush forget me by staying away. But now I still feel bad and my bf seems a little cold. Am I doing the right thing?

        COMMENT: It does not sound like you are being honest with yourself. Who do you have feelings for? Is it infatuation? You can not make your current relationship happy if your heart is somewhere else.

      158. 158
        shadystellar Says:

        Is long distance relationship the reason why to try open relationship?

        My story, I live in Asia and He lives in Europe. We’ve been dating since August 2016. Now he wants to have open relationship because he told he doesn’t have enough sexual experience with people (this is his first relationship he’s in to) and he’s too young to be in committed relationship. We’ve been in committed relationship so far and now he begs to have open relationship with one condition, I can’t have more number than him (I have loads of experience). Personally, I enjoy having commitment in long distance relationship because every single little thing matters now. I don’t want to have open relationship and I hate it (I have tried twice in two different relationships and it’s failed). He told me he still loves me and what he wants to do is just sexual actions. He asked this since the first day we are dating but I declined his request. So far we’ve been in committed relationship because he loves me and he doesn’t want to hurt me. I love him more and more after what he did this to me. What do you think I should do? If you suggest to talk with him more, actually we did discuss this every month, I stand on my own choice, he stands on his choice, there’s no light in the end of the tunnel. I really want to give him ultimatum like “you choose me or open relationship?” but I feel it’s unfair cause he’s been committed to me so far. I really don’t know what to do, please give me some advice! Thank you in advance!

        I’m going to see him again for new year holiday and I’m trying to move to Europe now but you know it takes time cause I got job here.

        RESPONSE: A TRUE LOVE WILL COMMIT TO A RELATIONSHIP, this is why we suggest to get a ring before you give yourself away. An open relationship, where one has sex with others is nothing but self fulfillment, it’s selfishness, which significantly lacks any love.

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