Ask Questions About Love, Questions About Relationships

101 Responses to “Ask Questions About Love, Questions About Relationships”

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1. 101
   dia Says:
   August 21st, 2010 at 4:19 am

   i am 17 and have never been in a relationships. a couple of times i have come close but have always said no because i thought my feelings weren’t involved.anyway so the thing is my college started a month back and i got attracted to this guy in my class but as usual i did nothing about it because i thought there was no point (i have a bit of a negative attitude sometimes so i said to myself this guy will mostly be a snob, will never talk to me so stop thinking about it) til here everything was fine.what happened was that he and i turned out to be lab partners and he turned out to be really swet,nice n funny.infact he was the one who talked to me first n tried to be really friendly.at the end of the class he asked for my number and my other lab partner did too..anyway so that night at dinner i found out hes committed big time to his school sweetheart who he knew for two years and had been dating for 6 months.to be honest i felt a twinge(who wouldn’t) but i behaved normal with him and his friends..we got along really well and before you know it he n i and his other guy friends became really friendly with me..we have dinner together every night and the days i don’t skip lunch lunch too…he talks to me about his girlfriend passionately asks me things to do like buy stuff for her and all (i can make out he loves her alot) i answer honestly like i should.i have never hit on him,never given a hint i like him..the thing is now that we are close m finding it hard to get over him.i don’t love him but i really really like him.maybe more than any guy iv ever known.i think of him on friendly terms when m around him or when i tease him with his gf or about other things but at the end of the day just when m thinking m over him,the feelings back.a guy even proposed to me 3 weeks back,i said no,he was a good friend but i didn love him.i have no hopes for my friend,probably he’ll never look at me that way.but i’m getting tired of being single,yet i dont believe in flings..when i’m with guys they treat me as one among them n less like m a ga-maybe thats how i am. is that bad? the worst thing however is “my good friend” hardly pays attention to me now.hes more with another gal (which makes my decision for not going out with him so much satisfactory) however i have started feelings there aren’t any good guys left who’ll be interested in me and that i’m very replacable..i know ive bored you but could you please take time to..
   thank you

   REPLY: Sounds like the first thing you need to do is to realize that you are your own worst critic. You shoot yourself in the foot before you even take a step. Even if you are rejected does not mean that something is wrong with you, it just means its not the “right door”. Your fear of not being good enough holds you back from possibility, you are going to miss opportunity if you continually back away from it. You may have some feelings of inadequacy that are associated to your past or childhood, did someone make you feel like you were not good enough when you were young? You need to get in touch with these feelings that are causing you to self destruct in the eye of possibility, and understand them.

2. 100
   ammu Says:
   July 28th, 2010 at 1:07 am

   l love a boy past from 8 years from that till now we not fright for anythings, we have good understandings, but past from one year i working, we have too much of problem past these year, i am in correct, but he get angry for everythings scolding, he have comparing an speaking with my office staff, many time we spend time an we both speaked but day by day it goes more, i dont know what to do please help me.

   REPLY: Learn to compromise, nobody is always right, so do not be arrogant, instead seek to gain understanding. The source of the problems are on the inside, not on the outside. Proverbs 4:7; Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

3. 99
   Kris Says:
   July 27th, 2010 at 7:17 pm

   Ok well this is my story, I’m dating this girl and it’s going on 6months, but the other day she wasn’t talking much so I asked what’s wrong and she said that she’s getting bored with me because of how I do things. She said that I’m the sweetest guy she’s ever dated but I’m smothering her from it and I need to change like as in be more demanding and bossy. I told her I’d do my best to do whatever she wanted to keep her happy but I dont know what do to. Like how can I still be sweet but at the same time kinds a jerk I guess you would say?

   REPLY: There is a difference between being bold and being a jerk. Confidence is expressed in actions. However, at the same time if you put her on a pedestal just to try to please her you make her an idol and this will cause issues as well. You need to be a man and yet, be yourself at the same time. You can not be what others want you to be. You are not defined by others, you are defined by your essence.

4. 98
   brenda Says:
   July 27th, 2010 at 12:49 am

   Do u believe in long distant relationship? i am in love with this guy, he says he loves me. the only thing about him , he is in Africa , he is working over there. i am just curious about long distant love. i have ask him question and he was willingly to give this info. we met on tagged. he has ask me to take my profile of tagged, and i did . he also took his off to, so i do not know what to say r think. he always tells me he loves me. we talk every day online. i need some advice on this relationship. i would appeciate it very much.

   REPLY: It takes time to build a relationship, just as it takes time to get to know someone, and getting to know someone will require doing it at at a personalble level.

5. 97
   xelia Says:
   July 1st, 2010 at 2:53 am

   I am in a six months relationship with a guy. The only problem between the two of us is his ex and my ex.

   We stay in the same town as they and both of them is intervening into our lives every single day.

   He has one son with his ex and i have two children with my ex. We want to move in together but dont know how to make this relationship last with both of the exes intervening.

   Any advice?

   Answer: There are more issues than that in this relationship. How are you going to understand others unless you first understand yourself? If you want your relationships to last you should first put God as its center point. God is the creator of relationships, who better to gain from than God?

6. 96
   loveorhate Says:
   May 29th, 2010 at 11:43 pm

   i had been in a relationship with this man for almost 2 years.he’s way too far from an idea of dream partner but i loved him for him even though i had to sacrifice alot along our relationship.more than month ago,i graduated and he changed.it started when he’s too poor to keep connected with me.no more calls,messages and we didnt meet up even when he got money and his home just like 20minutes away.i helped out him,reload and everything i could.but he sent me 2/3 messages before he told me he runs out of credit.he told me he was angry at me for some pointless reason at first.but for me i am the one who should be angry.i begged,talked to him nicely,ignored,pissed off.but he just silence and remains invisible.then i caught up him messaging a girl,totally unknown girl for a date.whats wrong with him.i gave him money,time,i done his assignment.i am too angry of him being so ignorance and changed this much in a very short time and with tears called him bad things but him talked back to me,even worst.

   Answer: Sounds like he is with someone else, giving someone else his time, and you the cold shoulder. When you give something it should not come with attachments or expectations. Nor should you rush into anything too fast, take your time and become best friends… and do not give yourself away before marriage. Proverbs 4:23; Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.

7. 95
   Mussa Says:
   May 10th, 2010 at 3:17 pm

   hi. this feels slightly weird. never actually talk much bout love, but im sort of in a pickle that’s tearing me apart. im 17years old, never had a girlfriend before but lots of crushes. its not because im shy though, more because i dunno what to do. so there’s this girl in class that i like (a lot) . And i know for sure that she likes me. im insane about her, she stops my heart beating each time i see her (literally). i do not want to loose her, i wanna be with her always. i know what it is she likes about me, but every time im with her specifically i sort of transform, i become someone else, the type that’s quiet and nervous (and its who i actually am that she likes) . but that is just part of the dilemma im in. she keeps sending me mixed messages, she completely ignores me, or doesn’t pay any attention whatsoever that im trying to flirt or that im interested in her. and i doubt myself that it was just perhaps just my imagination that i thought she liked me. then i try to move on, but then she starts all of a sudden at just random times, to flirt with me. and im baffled and don’t know what to do. if only i could get into her head or even ask her face to face. but i have a fear of rejection that perhaps she never actually liked me. because one of her many qualities that somehow made me fall for her, was her fun in sarcasm and making fun or fantasies about everything. and maybe what i thought she felt for me was just one of her fantasies. any help on what shes thinking ? or even how can i take it up a notch to know if she actually likes me. thank you for taking your time to read this. whatsoever advice you give ill take it. even if it should bring me back to reality. thanks

   Answer: You said it with your own words: “fear of rejection”. Change your focus a bit, there is someone out there who is going to appreciate you for who you are at your core. Put away the fear of rejection, because REJECTION is only a DEFLECTION, a RE-DIRECTION to another place or person. If she does not want to go out with you, then it was not meant to be. Besides you need to get over your fear first before anything will ever happen. Face your fear, overcome it by asking her out, and then move forward regardless of what happens. If yes, have a good time….if no, look for the girl who is waiting for you to show up in her life.

8. 94
   Nicole Says:
   April 11th, 2010 at 12:00 pm

   I love my husband, have been with him for 17 years. We have gone through a lot together, he s depressed. He puts a mask on for his friends. When he gets home, he has terrible mood swings. He admits to me, he has some issues. I have been so understanding, I’ve been with him through this for 3 years, since 2007. He tells me that he loves me, doesn’t know what the future holds for us, that truly hurts. Every weekend, he doesn’t spend time. S with me, he doesn’t know why, whats wrong with me?

   How is his relationship with Jesus? Have you considered going to a Godly counselor……….you need to, your marriage may depend on it. In the mean time you might consider changing the atmosphere and do things differently. CLICK HERE> Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage

9. 93
   mikan Says:
   April 10th, 2010 at 10:01 am

   I met a guy on a matrimonial website. He was interested and he called me up.we spoke sometimes and then decided to meet. When we first met , after seeing each other we realised that we had met each other before.then we recollected that we had met each other about 8 years ago and that time we never spoke but we just knew each other face to face and thast it.So now 8 years later we met as a formal proposal (thru this site). we met few times anmd things were just fine.Once he came to pick me up in a car and then everyday after that in the same car.I kind of found it wierd that why was he coming each day to meet me or pick me up from my workplace but then i thought that may be he is trying to know me well before marriage may ever happen.He never told me that he owns this car and i thought he owned it as he used to get it each day, it so happened that i once told him in the middle of some conversation that “your car …” and he said its not my car and hence i cannot get it again.I think its not that he lied but he even did not tell me the truth.Also on that matrimonial website he mentioned that his annual income is more than 150000 US dollars annually and I found out after a few days that that was also a lie!! he used to help me in my everyday work , everyday he used to come to my house ( two mins walk from his house) before going to his office and talk to me for hours , his family and my family knew about this relation and i used to talk to his mom and he used to talk to ppl in my family.But eventually I lost interest in him because he used to lie a lot and talk very loudly.Also I wnated to settle in good country and asked him abt his thoughts and he said ” i would do anything for you and let me ask my mom about this”. He asked and next day called me and said ” my mom says fine, settle where she wants you to as i see that should not be an issue and let not the proposal go away for such a small issue”.After a few days, something happened in my office which left me very very disturbed. due to this i got frustrated and a very angry woman.i nearly shouted at him everytime but he used to tolerate all that.two months had passed.He had already told my mom that he would like to marry me but i wnated time so i told my parents to tell him to wait.I started losing interest in him because of his lie abt many things and thought would not be loyal.he thought that if i had not been intereste din him then i would hav estopped him from coming to my hpouse but i did not do that because i thought that we can remain friends. There is one thing i forgot to mention, in the very beginning of we meeting he texted me( we hardly knew each other then) that he wanted to kiss me all over).I immediately called him and asked abt this text and he said he could not control his emotions so he just typed it.Also i notice dthat he used to see other women sometimes while we were driving in the car.So thesde were also some of the other reasons why i dint wnat to be his future.As you said its not wrong to be with other guys at the same time and as i was looking for marriage i started talking to another alliance at the same time without telling anything to this current guy.What happened is that things dint work out well with the new guy and there was nothing like a relationship but just a formal proposal kind of thing and we said bye to each other considering that it was probably not a suitable match.The former guy still used to come to my place and my parents were also not quite interested in him as i had said a no.But he kept coming.once he asked me ” so are we getting married” and i said im not quite sure abt it.But then i thought that he cares abt me, he likes me, he helps me and my family a lot the only thing is that he is lying right now and with my love i can try to change that and i can also chnage his habit of talking loudly in front of others. So i decided to take him a bit seriously.Then i used to go out with him more often, we went for a long drive we even talked abt things after marriage and it was great. We got physically involed ( in the third month of knowing each other) but thre was no sex at all.After that once he texted me and said ” there will be some one trying to contact you by so and so number and pls tell her that we are just friends”.That lady called me up and said that are u in a relationship with this guy and i said “no”.she hung up.I aske dhim what this was all about and he said that he is out of town currently and will explain once he is back.He dint callme for fifteen days and once i called him up his num ber was busy and at the same time i called that lady her number was also busy. he just picked up once and i asked him why he dint call me, he said im too busy with work let me be back and i will explain. i decided to tell my parents and since he used to be at my place each and every day for hours my parents had developed that trust on him and thought that may be he is genuinely in som ebig problem and told me that let him come back and we will see. A week more passed. Nothing happpened. No calls from his side. As he lives two mins away from my house, as i came back from office i saw him going somewhere on his bike.Then i realised that he came back to town and he dint even tell me.I dont understand all this crap as he propsed me, my parents also, our families kknoew about all this his mother always used to tell me that ” so when the both of you have decided to get married”.I called him after all this crap and he said” my dad wants me to marry some one else and also you have a lot of temper.And I have to listen to my parents and marry this gal.Hows that possible, he knew abt my temper even before and his entire family knew abt me and him and how can his dad not know it? and if he knew it then why some other gal?This time when i called his mom she said” I cant say a yes to you neither can I say a no and i told her that time that why did he keep contact with me if there wa someone else already and if not already then how did someone or could someone come into his life when the talks are on for me?? we knew each other for like four months,i never came to know what happened just all of a sudden.He doesnt even come to my house anymore and no contact at all as if something like that never existed.My mom had called him for something and he dint even ask her how she was and said instead” ya what is it”

   My question to you is, what went wrong? have i done something? I personally feel that he is crazy and very low confident.

   Answer: Sometimes things just do not work out, and sometimes that is in your best interests. I would like to suggest to you that you slow down, look to make friends and be friends, leave sex out and marriage talk out until you have developed a good relationship. And seek wisdom and guidance that will help you to ascertain a persons character level. Above all things, protect your heart, it is the spring of life.

10. 92
    tori simms Says:
    April 2nd, 2010 at 1:54 pm

    i’ve been dating my boyfriend for about a month and a half. we got in a stupid fight the other day because i got mad at him for talking about this 25 year old woman that he thinks is cute (he is 17). yesterday, he avoided me all day at school. today he talked to me but he was acting weird. i wanted him to kiss me & he said no. & i was like why. he said that he is setting a goal & going to see how long he can last in not kissing me or doing anything physical with me. i asked him if he was breaking up with me & he said “no, there’s a difference”. i don’t understand any of this. what do you think he means? what should i do?

    Answer: Get control of yourself and your emotions, do not think with your emotions, but think with your mind. Just because your hormones are raging does not mean that you should give into them and allow yourself to be taken advantage of. This is one major reason why you should not be “physical” or give yourself away prematurely prior to marriage. Many times the guy gets what he wants and the girl gets left with nothing. Learn to be friends with the person you are going out with, build a relationship, don’t rush into the aspects that will leave you in pain. Sex is the deepest form of intimacy you can have, when you have sex there is a bonding that takes place at a deep emotional level, don’t allow any guy to tear you up inside like that.

11. 91
    Christine Says:
    March 31st, 2010 at 7:44 am

    I feel totally lost, no appetite or sleep. This charming christian man from my church, pursued me amd pursued me, made me feel like i was something else!!! I was taken advantage of at 3 and physically abused by my mother. I feel like a child who wants to feel special, to protect me and love me. It’s now obvious since I gave myself to this church man all was just a game. I’m left in torment. How can I change from resenting this church man? Gratefull to have someone to ask!!! Thankyou!!!

    Answer: To begin with, take ownership of your own choices, just as you said; “I gave myself to this church man”. Who did? You did right? So why are you resentful with him, is it because you put your trust in him and feel like he fooled you? Many women fall into this same trap, you are not alone. However, the answer is to keep oneself pure until one has a ring and a certificate of marriage. Ask yourself if in your desire to be loved, if you rushed things? No body is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, however it was not just him who sinned. for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, (Romans 3:23). Admit your mistakes, ask Jesus for forgiveness, and seek out the love of God in your life.

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