Comments on: Ask Questions About Love, Questions About Relationships

By: bianchi di carpio

bianchi di carpio — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 01:11:45 +0000

I’m a Christian but my boyfriend is not. I’m trying to helping to become a christian but he says he’s not ready for that yet. Its hard to explain that God doesn’t approve fornication. I love him n he does too. What I should do?

RESPONSE: To love someone does not mean that they must be a part of your life as your flesh desires. You can not change him to fit your mold, or to be the man God wants him to be, that is Gods job. Too many women fall into this trap, afraid of losing what they think is “their love”, they give themselves away and pay the price when they leave. 2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness?

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 15:22:30 +0000

Hi My boyfriend and I (over 50) have been together for over 3 years, we broke up and have just reunited again because there is so much love between us…he has cheated on me two times in the past, stays in contact with one of them and now he has a bunch of female “friends” that he texts and emails all day. He says they are just friends and that I’m the one he loves. Am I blind? If this is true, and I work on forgiveness doesn’t he have to let go of these friendships? I’m confused on how to make us fix us, which we both honestly want. Please help me, I’m so lost and hurt. 11/16

RESPONSE: Often times forgiveness requires repentance as a prerequisite, and in your case it should. First, do not let your emotions fool you, there is NOT “so much love between you”. If there was the cheating would not have happened. There may be much LUST between you, or infatuation, but certainly some selfishness in order for one to cheat. Secondly, you will now be insecure about any woman relating to this guy in any way. And because of this, you will also be afraid of future hurts in the same manner. Be wise, heal, and do not let your hurts get in the way of your future, in other words, don’t decide that all guys are this way, instead look for ones that value you in friendship first! What did I just say? Do not give yourself away prematurely like you did in this relationship… when you give yourself away the guy will just take what he gets and run with it, understand?
Find someone who values you and loves you in friendship, then let him say so with a ring!

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 05:32:53 +0000

I need help my boyfriend and I are both bi and well he’s wanting to take hormones to be more feminine but i really don’t want him to cuz of how our families will react. so he’s willing to compromise if i can come up with something that can take take the place of the hormones. any ideas?

Yeah, read the bible! Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom.

By: Gizelle

Gizelle — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 02:51:42 +0000

I have been married to my high school sweet heart for 5 years. We are going through what I call a rough patch. Constantly bickering and fighting over small things and bad attitudes towards each other. Recently he has started talking to other females, not in a very respectful way for me. What is your opinion on where our relationship is heading? I am stuck on what I should do for myself and my children.

RESPONSE: Life is all about learning to love within the context of relationships. So, how is your love doing? It’s not perfect, cause your not perfect, and neither is his. Understanding is the single biggest key, did you see the link on top of the page asking you if your relationship is worth $45. Wisdom is supreme, therefore get wisdom, though it costs you all you have, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7

By: thomas

thomas — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 20:59:41 +0000

MY Girlfriend is 41yrs of age and i am 35 is that a problem ?

REPLY: Why would it be?

By: tre

tre — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 09:11:57 +0000

hello I'm 25 years old. I'm about to enter into a relationship with a guy he cares about me and and says all the that he loves me and wants to spend his life with me, he is asking me for marriage..he was married before about two years ago and he is divorced now.. but the problem is that sometimes I feel that he still has feelings for her, even he says all the time that he is regretful and that he wish he never met her or marry her.. and tells me that he want to start a new life with me ... I don't know how to make sure that he truly loves me and not thinking about her... please help me best regards, RESPONSE: First ask yourself why you are insecure in this relationship, have you had similar relationships such as this that failed? You need to resolve your issue, insecurity. Then you need to understand that in starting new the same old issues will arise on BOTH SIDES, yours and his. You want to win at relationship? Seek insight, get wisdom, gain understanding together, and seek Christian counsel before you marry. Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage would be a great place for you both to begin really understanding each other, while laughing about it along the way, it's a true comedy!

By: Kayla

Kayla — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 04:18:01 +0000

So my birthday is coming up, and I'm thinking about asking for a promise that happens to cost $88 from my boyfriend. We have been going out for a little over 7 months. Is this TOO much to ask for? I mean I even looked for rings at WALMART so it didn't seem like TOO much. I'll be turing 16 and he is 19. Should I ask for it? Part of me feels like I'll be kind of greedy if I do but after he buys me one I will buy him one...Should I ask him for it or not? PLEASE HELP! RESPONSE: First ask yourself why you are so insecure in asking? Why are you so judgmental of yourself? I do not know you, but I know your worth at least $88 plus tax! Have a look at these promise rings.

By: azra

azra — Thu, 02 Jun 2011 18:37:54 +0000

hope to hear from you sooner..
i have been in a relationship for 4years now.. i know i love him.. Like every relationship, there are instances that you argue with each other and be okay again overnight.. But I think, with those arguments we already had, there’s wrong.. I dont know if it is I who has a problem or him.. He is a seafarer for almost 3 years now.. and he goes home once a year.. I only see him for 3-4months a year.. But when he’s home, he always wants to go out with his friends.. Good side of him is that, he asks me but when i said “NO” he always insist me to say yes.. The reason why I dont like him to go out is because, he always tells me that they have reunion.. everytime he goes out with his friends, that is his reason.. good if he has only one group of friends.. he actually has many groups.. so if i estimate the days he wants to go out, probably, 3times a week.. how could that be? how about his time for me? is one-day reunion not enough? im so sad of that because, honestly, i want to be with him as much as we have the opportunity to be with each other because i know we will not get to see each other again when he goes to work.. his contract is 10 months.. i tried to let him understand.. i talked to him about this but he seemed like he doesnt care..

He is at work now and when i opened my Facebook, i saw a newly uploaded album by his friend.. when i opened the album, i remember that that was the time when we quarreled because i didnt like him to go out.. and all i knew was he really didnt go anymore.. as i clicked to another picture, i saw him in the pic.. and i got really shocked upon seeing it because all i knew for more than a month was he was never with them then.. so i mailed him about it.. i told him how i got hurt.. and its bad because he never said sorry instead he got mad..

i really love him but i made a decision not to talk with him for a while.. but we didnt break up.. i just wanted to find answers to my questions why? im not selfish.. i just want to spend his time with me when we have the opportunity to be together physically.. what am i going to do? how can i let him understand that? please help me.. help help help!!!

RESPONSE: Well look, you want relationship, but you apparently were not ready to wait for marriage. If a man says he loves you, let him buy you a ring. Until then, save yourself for someone who will respect you and your needs.

By: ash

ash — Thu, 26 May 2011 14:09:53 +0000

Hie… I started going out with a guy from this march. Suddenly he has to go to Dubai to see his parents and initially he had to come in may end but it postponed to July. He started behaving with me wierdly but i kept on trying to make the things better. One day out of frustration i asked him whats going wrong on his part and asked him . He said me its very tough in long distance and wanted some time. He took an hour or so and then said me he wanted to breakup. I tried to convince him a lot but he didnt. I love him really. Its being a month now we are no longer in contact. I thought he would feel my absence but i was wrong. What should i do to get him back?

COMMENT: There is really too much lacking information, however it does appear that he made a choice to move on. Perhaps he had someone else in mind already? If he is not contacting you then it would say that he did not have the feelings for you that you had for him. Again, a good reason why not to give yourself away before marriage.

By: kyra

kyra — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 02:26:59 +0000

Hi..my one and half year relationship with my boyfriend ended last night and im so shattered i dont know where else to turn to.. Im 28 and he’s 31,we both are matured enough and have secure jobs, the first few months after we dated he told me that after breaking up with his ex he did not get much space he needs to get over her before dating me..so he told me he needed some space and wants to break up for a while, i gave him the space he needed though he used to text me once a while during that time, which i usually do not respond he also tried to catch me online saying “are u there”, “hey” etc. (i saw the offlines). After a month, he came around saying he’s ready, after that we started dating, i loved him a lot so did he, all he talk about was building our future,he wanted to get married this year. I used to ask him about his ex, he said he’s over her (which i think is the truth) and that the only thing that he wish her for is happiness. I haven’t had a serious relationship before, the few times i dated i ended up broken heart. Since this relationship had been longer than before and since we were happy together, loving each other, i was sure he was the one. He had talked about building our future, talked about marriage he said he wanted to get married this year, i said im not ready this year because of some issues – i have 3 brothers, im the only girl, my mom insist one of them get married first. But, i told him even if they don’t get married this year we’ll get married next year, he was okay with it but said he’s getting older and wanted to settle down soon. He was caring and loving,we were connected and happy with each other though we had our ups and downs. But,from few weeks back we didn’t see each other, all he said was he was too busy with work.. i thought he needed some space, and left him there sometimes not speaking to each other for two days. I sense something was wrong and text him that we need to talk, he told me to come online where he told me he was confused about our relationship, and that he felt he’s not good enough for me, he said if we get married we maybe a perfect couple but he’s not sure if he can give me the perfect love, he said he did not give his whole heart in our relationship and that if we give each other space maybe we will find out whether we are meant to be together. I said we can work things out now without breaking up by taking things slowly,I told him if we break up i don’t think i would want to come back, because we have broken up before, but he still said he wants to break up now and wait for fate to play its game he said if we are meant to be together we’ll come around, he said that there’s no one he is seeing now and do not want to go out with anyone, he asked me never to close my heart for him because he’s confused right now and that he may want to come back again.. i thought everything was so real, and that all we are waiting for is starting a family, but this is where it ends.. im so heartbroken, my chest feels so heavy right now, i want to scream and cry and i cant even cry it hurts too much , i keep thinking the happy times we had, the promises we made.. it hurts so much, i see my dreams shattered, my happiness gone, i cant imagine my life without him.help me please, should i wait for him?

COMMENT: It is more important to understand than it is to be understood. You are voicing your hurts, pains, and desires but missing where he is at altogether. He has not healed completely from his previous relationship and his self-esteem appears to have taken a hit from that relationship. He would probably not admit it though, guys like to be quiet about things and internalize them themselves. Besides that issue, is the thing about your mom’s desire for one of your brothers to get married before you do may also appear to be an issue with him. Due to his low self-esteem he may be taking that as “your not sure, or not ready.” Frankly, it should not have anything to do with your mother’s wishes, she can not live your life, that is more of a control issue with mom than a love issue in your relationship. I would suggest you work on being a friend first, open the door and be there for him, be supportive and encouraging. Stop trying to push your desires on him, and leave sex out of the equation.