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      Does He Love Me? Does She? Signs He or She Loves You

      By Guide

      In the representation of feelings towards others, actions really speak louder than words. Often time’s people say things that are not backed up by their behavior. Many people will use deceptive tactics that are in their own best interests, in order to achieve their own personal desires. It takes time to get to know someone and more importantly to get a clear view of their character, you can not read a book by it’s cover. Take that into consideration the next time you encounter a salesman, especially those who make their income based upon commission. If someone is trying to push you into something that you are not feeling comfortable with, it’s generally going to be motivated by selfishness.

      What are some of the things you can look for in order to know if someone really cares or has interest in you? In the beginning of a potential relationship you should look for the simple things, like are they attempting to contact you in some fashion? Understand that if someone calls you they had to be thinking of you first in order to initiate the call. The same thing goes with an email, a text message, or even a card in the mail. Hopefully, in this stage, their intent is to get to know you on a friendship level. In the dating stages you should be looking to see if his or her interests are reflective of their behavior. Take your time and determine if they are content with talking to you on the phone, see if he or she truly enjoys and appreciates those kinds of opportunities.

      When you are together with someone ascertain if he or she is enjoying being with you, or if they are trying to initiate something beyond spending quality time with you. Remember that there are many people who may find you physically attractive and they may wish to pursue that aspect of a relationship. The physical aspect of a relationship should be reserved for the substantial bonding of marital bliss. Understand that your judgment will be clouded by your emotions if you allow physical intimacy into your relationship foundation. You want a guy or a gal that is enjoying your companionship and fellowship. Get a feeling for his or her desire to associate with you as a buddy or pal. Let go of all those romantic dreams and fantasies until the relationship has matured enough to warrant it.

      As time goes along determine by their actions if he or she is looking forward to making contact with you on a daily basis. The more time you spend together in communication and in companionship, the greater your bonding. Determine if he or she is putting off other things in order to make room to spend quality time with you. Are they going out of their way to be with you? Or are you feeling like you have been put on a shelf while he or she is pursuing other interests?

      Another thing to look for are the things that he or she may be willing to do for you, as well as the gifts they may give you, (as long as it does not appear that they are trying to buy you). Generally if a guy brings you flowers or other small gifts that is a positive. However if it appears as though he is trying to impress you with his financial wealth in some manner, that might say to proceed with caution. Look for simple things, like are they trying to help you accomplish things that are important to you? If you tell him or her that your car needs washing, do they ask if they can assist you? If he or she did, it would establish a positive intent. If they are going grocery shopping do they ask if they can pick anything up for you? Remember it’s the thought that counts, and these kinds of actions may demonstrate an otherness mindset.

      Actions are far more likely to demonstrate true intentions than are words, words are cheap. She wants to know, does he love me? Either may want to know when to say I love you and both probably want to hear it. Ladies, if he loves you, let his words be backed up by his actions, let him get you a ring! Don’t give yourselves up prematurely, if you do it will cost you significant emotional pain, keep your self respect and your dignity. Guys if she really loves you, she’ll say yes when you give her the ring.

      We must show love through actions that are sincere, not through mere empty words. 1 John 3:18

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      Topics: Thoughtful Ideas | 33 Comments »

      After reading the love article, do you feel that you have personally benefited by the insight? Do you think you have benefited by a value of at least $5 dollars? It does cost money to run this web site, your gifts of gratitude would be greatly appreciated. Give until it feels good, Thank you for being a blessing!

      33 Responses to “Does He Love Me? Does She? Signs He or She Loves You”

      1. 1
        Sonny Says:

        I’m grateful for the these topics that really shapes relationships and marriages. I happen to get them at the right time and I believe its the Almighty God who knows what I’m going through and I thank you all for the good work done to unite marriages and relationships. God bless you abundantly.

      2. 2
        Rachael Says:

        pls i want to know, if a guy promise to spend the rest of his life with a girl on phone.. i mean proposing on phone because of distance and promise to marry her immediately she come back from the state.. but on the other hand, the guy can stay a month without calling and when eventually she call, he says is due to work stress and that mere hearing her voice on phone makes him lack concentration..my Question is “Do YOU THINK HE IS REAL”?

        -Answer: Actions speak louder than words, what do his actions say to you? You need to make your own decision here, honestly ask yourself; do I think he is real? Then honestly answer yourself. I think you already know the answer, do not let your emotions cloud your judgement.

      3. 3
        jennifer mintah Says:

        when you have a guy and you visit him and he don’t even talk unless you are alone even when you ask him question he dont want to answer is that real love? he dont call, I do the calling always, i dont know please i need solution.

        Answer: Just like in dancing the man is to take the lead. Let him call you, and then by his actions you will know the answer. Control your emotions and do not be so anxious, be at peace in patience.

      4. 4
        jenny Says:

        you have a guy and always demanding for sex and a time comes and you dont give in than he will not call you even he dont want to see you but he you give in he will always be free with you telling you all sort of of words he dont even help you in terms of money if you discuss about your education than he just turn off the discusion is that also love.

        Answer: Selfish…. not love. Quality love wants to meet your emotional needs, that does not necessarily include money. Remember the old saying, can’t buy me love?

      5. 5
        nnnnn Says:

        hi, am with this guy for a year and almost a month..he had never gift me anything, even when i asked for it…i always give him things as gifts, i know he loves me, but am not sure… he takes money from me cause his financial situation is not really good, for 2 times that it was my birthday he did not call till i did, he had excuses…
        he had the chance to propose but he did not cause he said he is not prepared yet, but he keeps saying it will be soon, and he wants it more than i do. and that good days are still to come… i dunno please tell me

        Answer: I do not know either. You say you know he loves you, then you say you are not sure……if you are not sure, then you dont know. It sounds like he might be lacking some thoughtfulness, but I can not tell you what to do, you have your own choices in life to make. I would suggest that you NOT give yourself away physically in the mean time though.

      6. 6
        Terry Says:

        In a long distance relationship use to call me a 4-5 may more a in a day now he text or only calls when he isn’t near anyone to hear him talking to me. Than stated the other day he knows I love him and he really loves me but then says he wished he wasn’t so fickled right now. How am I suppose to take this and what is it suppose to imply as he texted me that and i always let him do the calling and now he always has an excuse as to why he didn’t call. Help with what you think this means am I wasting me time on this guy or not?? I am 47 years old don’t want to waste much more time seems i am always there for him but he never is for me and takes him hours I mean hours to respond to my text messages to him. Tell me should I just let go and run??

        Answer: fickled means; marked by erratic changeableness in affections or attachments. Honestly, that does not sound like love. You say; just let go and run because you are feeling hurt. You are not getting your needs met in the relationship and you want to feel like you matter to him. It is also going to be difficult getting needs met, (on either side), in a long distance relationship. Back to this; I love you is an outward expression, but do the actions show it? I would like to suggest that you join into a small group at your local Christian church, here you would find love, give love and receive Gods direction for your life.

      7. 7
        Mella Says:

        I met this new guy and the first time I met him, he took me to his house. Big, nice house and on the first night he tried to sleep with me. I told him no but it didn’t stop there, its like every time I’m around him he wants something of that nature (and its only been the 3rd date). Even thought I didn’t give in, now he won’t return my phone calls, or if I do happen to catch him on the phone he will be like “i’m going to call you back” and I don’t hear from him. He is very busy at work but and I knew this to being with, but now I’m starting to wonder. We are just friends, so should I assume that he really wasn’t planning on taking me seriously and just stop calling altogether? I really like him, but I feel like he has someone else.

        Answer: Don’t look at the material house, it’s the house within any person that is important. The guy is looking to get his needs met, he just wants sex. Now since you have not given it too him, he is not calling. He is not looking for relationship and you are not a piece of meat on his dinner table. Look for someone you can build a friendship with and don’t give up your dignity for anyone.

      8. 8
        yvette Says:

        i have been with my boyfriend off and on for a little over a year. it’s been a rough ride, but for some reason, i still love him, mostly bc of his spontaneity, our common interests and his family and friends. he moved out of town 9 months ago and we’ve had a long distance relationship since then, also off and on. we argue so much bc he is very rude and very jealous, but i still love him and no one seems to compare to him. it’s so hard for me to move on. this summer, he wanted to move in with me, but he was just starting to treat me so badly that i was very reluctant and told him no, so we broke up and he changed his plans. i felt so empty without him and about 3 weeks ago we got back together and things just aren’t the same as they were before. each time he’s come back to me, but this time, i am the one who asked him if he was willing to reconcile. he hardly calls or texts me now and goes out almost every night, saving talking to me til’ the very LAST part of his day, whereas he used to make time to talk to me. we talk about 5 minutes a day, if that. in person, we are intimate, but he’s not as “loving” as he used to be. when we talk, he is very rude, for the most trivial things. he’ll raise his voice and seems annoyed at every little thing that i say or do. he gets angry if i so much ask him a question, yet last weekend he paid for my daughter and i to come see him and he insists that he loves me still. he’ll ask me to call him, but he never answers, and so when he asks me to call is say, “well why don’t you just call me when you’re not busy?” and he gets angry and is like, “you know what, nevermind. just forget it.” since actions speak louder than words, i know he has lost interest in me, but my question is, why does he keep me dangling there? i don’t understand.

        Answer: There is some deeper stuff than what appears on the surface. There are some things he is not talking about that are bothering him. Now, this could be some emotional stuff from within your relationship where he feels hurt by something you have said or done, or it could be that some older issues are coming up from within him that have not been resolved, that are somehow being awakened in your relationship. Jealousy has to do with personal insecurity, the question is why does he feel insecure? Fighting often stems from one person, or both, who are not being honest about something. However, trying to dig at the issue will not help you, you would need to let him tell you the things that are bothering him, in his own time. I would like to suggest that you rent the movie Fireproof and watch it together at your next opportunity.

      9. 9
        Kim Says:

        I have a guy that I have been seeing for a little over a year. We actually lived together for a few months. I left because I couldn’t stand the how lonely I felt. He needed all of this personal time alone to be with his cows and his garden. He never would call he only would text. He also had a friend that he would text and see and tell me they were just friends she would call me and it appeared she knew more about what he was doing then I did. Well over the last several months we have been seeing each other again. He says he loves me and wants
        to marry me. He is currently in New York his daughter is getting married. Now I would like to know am I wrong if I send a simple text saying Love You shouldn’t I receive a simple text back I am not asking for more then 2 seconds of his time. Am I being selfish? Or will I always take the back burner with this guy?

        Answer: You both have needs in the relationship, 1 of your needs is to know that he loves you. Perhaps the thing to do is to relay that to him in a clear manner so that he will make better efforts to love you the way you need it, not the way he thinks. Us guys often do not understand, because we are guys, that women have different emotional needs than we do. Now if he is unable to show you love, in the places you need it, after he fully understands those places, then he might have some issues holding him back. People can not give what they do not have to give. I hope this has helped you, please also read Say I Love You Now, While You Still Can

      10. 10
        Danielle Says:

        I’ve been with my bf for 2 and a half years and i’m pretty sure i love him but even though he tells me every day he loves me too its still hard for me to believe him.. He’s the sweetest guy i know he always makes time for me and never leaves me feeling upset or lonely he always calls and makes sure i’m ok. I see him everyday but sometimes he’ll blow off one of our plans to go play video games with a friend that i don’t see eye to eye with and he thinks there’s nothing wrong, or he’ll flirt with some of our friends right there in front of me and act like it never happened. He told me once that he cheated on me with one of my best friends that i knew he had asked out before, and still had strong feelings for when i confronted her she told me that she knew nothing about it and that was that. a few months later another friend told me that they saw him sneek off with her and when i ask him about it he seemed ashamed. I don’t know, he gets depressed when i tell him its hard for me to believe that he loves me because of his past, even though i’ve seen a change in him i still can’t forget wat he’s done to me in the past! I don’t want to make him seem like a bad guy cause i know he tries to protect me from getting hurt but it always seems like he’s the cause of my tears… I don’t want to leave him and he really is a sweet heart but i dk if i can believe him after the way i’ve watched him act with other girls for so long… Thats my point; Even though i love him i have doubts about it all, after all the things he’s done and he’s put it off as nothing i makes me think that when he says i love you he’s just saying it because he dosen’t want anyone to be unhappy.

        Answer: You are insecure in the relationship, with some good reason. And because of the unfaithfulness, the trust has been shattered. It takes time to build trust and it takes time to heal. But understand that if he says he is sorry, and means it, then he should be making every effort to show he means it by his actions. The best way to protect you from getting hurt is for him to do the right thing, and that means to make you feel and know that you are #1, and that there are no number 2’s! Remember that if someone says I love you, that their actions should show it. Keep your self respect, do not give yourself away without a marriage certificate.

      11. 11
        Laban Says:

        I have this girl who has been friendly, she used to hangout with me at my Apt. She once told me she will never has sexed until she is married but everytime wee hangout, she usually place her hands around my waist. I dont know her intention, because i always respected her and i never asked for sex. I fell in love with her and i told her i love her and i would like to know her better, she said yes and she kept hangingout with me and doing nice things like giving me a ride to a grocery shop e.t.c. But she started avoiding me after a while and the more i complimented her, the more she kept away from me.
        I kept calling her and sometimes she doenst pick the calls and she rarely called back. But she tried to become friendly but kept away from anything to do with relationship. I asked her how she feels about me and she said she had a crush with someone and that we should just be friends. I wonder what were her intentions! Did she wanted me to sleep with her or she was after serious relationship!

        Answer: There are too many factors associated to try to guess or assume anything. Thats normal type of stuff for young people.

      12. 12
        temptest Says:

        I have been seeing this guy for over a year now, I thought everything was going fine until he started drinking every night and passing out. Each time I talked to him about it he would say he would slow down and not drink as much. I finally made him move out this past week, but I really miss him, I don’t know if its because I am just lonely or If I really truely love him. The thing I am not really sure if he even cares about me, or if he was just using me for a place to stay and a free ride. When he left I tried to hug him bye and he pulled away. We have talked on the phone breifly since he left, but its not the same. He has told me at times he did love me but only when he was drunk, and afterwords when he would sober up he would say not the way I would want him to love me. I don’t know what to do. Do I let him stay gone or hope he gets help for his drinking and take a risk and let him come back.

        Answer: When you are talking to someone who is intoxicated, you are talking to the drug or to alcohol as in this case. There is a reason why he is drinking, usually it is to cover up a deep pain that someone does not want to deal with. He needs help, but you can not force that. Both the pain he has and the alcohol will cause difficulty in the relationship. Try to get him to go to church, Jesus is a great therapist!

      13. 13
        jeny Says:

        i and my guy studied together in school. so we know each other from then.when in college, he proposed me.he was a good friend to me and since he was from a similar background as mine, i thought this might work and i said yes.from the second week, things were wrong.i found that he was always on phone with other gals and we always had fights about it. but i had fallen in love with him so deeply that i couldnt move away from him. then one day he came and told me he has some heart problem.i informed his family that and when he came to know it, he broke up with me saying i lost his trust since i did things behind him.i was shattered and for an year we had no contacts. i was almost recovered from it when his mother passed away and his father informed me that and i called him just to express my condolences. he started messaging and calling me. and we got back to old state and i started loving him again so deeply.he said he wanted to marry me. i slept with him when he asked me to. i trusted him and all his promises.then again i found him back with his phone and girlfriends. flirting with them.and once we had sex and the next day i saw a message in his phone to another gal dat he slept with me and that he wished it was dat gal instead of me. i felt so hurt.when i asked him about it,he said he was just joking and i am not understanding him. he broke up with me again after that without any reason. when his mom passed away,i used to speak to his father and comfort him which he never liked.but morally i felt it right so i used to talk. and after another year he broke up with me second time,he used to stil want to sleep with me and i let him because he is the only person i hav loved so deeply and the only person i have slept with.i thought he might love me again and want me again. but he never tried to patch up the relationship.but he wants me to be there for him,to cook and feed him, to take care of him and to sleep with him.he wants me to do all duties of a wife a mother and a friend. but he doesnt want to marry me.he says he loves me. he swore on his dead mother that he doesnt flirt with anyone anymore. and i knfeelder is something in his mind that he is not sharing with me. do u think he is genuine? does he really love me? what should i do? i really love him but i dont want to be hurt anymore so i am forcing myself to get over him. and i also dont want to be with him if he is gonna be the same way as before.

        Answer: We all make mistakes, sometimes our emotions take over our brains and we do things that we would be better off not doing. Love is a commitment, is someone loves you they will commit to you in marriage. Many guys tell ladies what they want to hear in order to get what they physically want from them. We all live and learn, next time let the man show you he loves you first, with a ring, a wedding date, and don’t give yourself away until you have actually been married.

      14. 14
        sky Says:

        Thank God for all these messages and experiences published on this site. This is a great site and it gives reasonable advises. It’s really true most of the times words are cheap and actions speaks louder. I have this friend who was in love with a guy for almost three years. they were more like friends and she already made her feelings known to him. he said he too ”cares” for her but because of distance and other responsibilities he cant keep a relationship with her. she was the one who emailed him or called him most of the time. all he ever said was ”am so busy” but ”i appreciate your calls and i like us to still be friends, please keep in touch”. what dung. he wanted a physical relationship, to be close and get to know her ”better”. but she believed it doesn’t matter the distance,when two hearts are in harmony anything is possible. so she finally let go. his words contradicted his actions. that was a good enough reason to quit…

        Question: Is the friend you speak of really you? You sound so profoundly effected by this experience.

      15. 15
        Aimi Says:

        ok…so this is quite complicated..
        up to last june i used to like this one guy that is 2 years older then me and then there was this guy in my class that was always nice to me and helped me and everything. i got close to that guy from my class and he always tried to make me forget the other guy. which i did…and i fell in love with the one from my class. he is very shy but he does things..he held my hand a couple of time when we were in school and near crowds..on august he told me he loves me. and i do love him and he was so perfect saying all the right stuff and just the kind of stuff that is perfect for me. i love him so very much and i believe he loves me too.. but..(of course there’s a but…)
        there’s this girl that was my friend last year and she moved into our class this year. believing she’s my friend i introduced her to my friends (including him) and now she’s part of our “group” (for lack of a better term)and everything seemed fine. but she knew that i love that guy and he loves me and yet she keeps getting in the way!! she always talks about sex near him and sometimes she takes it alittle too far..but she KNOWS and i dont understand why she does that. also she always plays it innocent like she did nothing trying to make me seem as the jealous bad type…. sure i am jealous but within reason!! she can’t do that and its so frasturating cause i dont know what to do about it!!! i cant tell him to get away from her and i cant be mean or evil to her because supposedly she’s my friend. i also can tell him how much im jealous cause, well jealousy isn’t a good quality now is it? what do i do? thanks!

        Answer: Nobody can make your choices for you, but we can give opinions that you can take into consideration. It really sounds like this girl is trying to temp your guy friends hormones, and she really does not sound like much of a friend to either of you…….(Based solely upon what you have stated). If the guy falls for it, then you did not want him anyway. She could actually be helping you out here, it could be viewed as a test for him, and if he falls into the trap, then you know more about him. Don’t give yourself away to compete with this masquerade, it’s not worth losing your self respect. Besides you would find another infatuation in short time.

      16. 16
        me... Says:

        hi, well heres my situation…
        i am in love with this girl. i know i am. she taught what that love was. but the problem is that she has a boyfriend. her boyfriends is in a different state. he comes down here just on a couple of occasions. and well its been a while and me and her have come closer. and i jut keep falling for her more deeply. and now i am faced with these feelings that i cant deny. and as we drew closer she became like my best friend and she says that i am like her best friend. she really tells me mostly everything. so it we came across it once and i know she has feeling for me too. but she is attached to her boyfriend. she really does love the guy. and well im always here. and im always there for her. and her and her boyfriend have problems…i know.. and i really just want her to be happy and that guy just doesnt seem to be the one to be able to do that. i want her so badly. i dont know what to do. me and her have gone over this… and we always end up as just friends…i want so much more…we really are super close. i feel like she is my girl sometimes but she ..she just isnt and it kills me….im with her all the time… the world tell me that we look like a great couple and ask us how if were going out… we say no…and this is not because ppl say it but because i want it so bad… wat do i do? i am so lost….she really is the only one i want…shes perfect..

        Question: What is love?

      17. 17
        sam Says:

        i’ve been in a complicated relationship with this guy for about half a year now. we’ve known each other for 3 years already, but only became close a few months ago. he’s very sweet to me and he does alot of things for me, which led me to believe that he likes me. he would always be around for me when i’m sad, cook for me, take care of me, and whenever we’re in a big group, he will always be by my side and give all his attention to me. as a result, i allowed myself to fall in love with him.

        the thing is, a few months passed and while we continued being friends, things started becoming more complicated cos he started to do things like hold my hand and putting his arm around my waist or shoulder when we walk beside each other. i let him do it cos i like him, and i thought it was mutual. but i kept waiting for him to tell me, to say something about how he feels.. and he never did.

        in the end, i was tired of waiting. we were in a very ambiguous relationship cos many of our mutual friends thought that we were already a couple since we acted like we were. even i felt like we were in a relationship just that we didnt make it official. so i confronted him one day and asked him what he intended to do about our relationship.

        he gave me an answer which really hurt me. he said that while he was sure that he enjoyed being with me and that he feels something special for me, he’s not sure if what he feels for me is love. he said that he’s not ready to commit to a relationship with me cos while he is happy whenever he’s with me, he thinks that a “special spark” is missing in what he feels for me. he said that he used to love this girl some years ago, and even though he has gotten over it now, he claimed that what he felt for her felt like love, cos there was really the “head-over-heels” emotions, whereas for me, he cannot figure out if its love cos it seems to be lacking a “special spark”. yet he continually claims that he really enjoys spending time with me, and there is something special about our interaction, about me, that he does not feel with other girls/people. so he cant decide if its love, and thus is unwilling to make a commitment. (he also admits that this is partially cos he’s a commitment-phobic but also says that if i’m the right girl, he’s definitely willing to make the commitment. the problem is he cant figure out if i’m the right one for him.)

        so the conclusion was that he asked me to give him more time to sort his feelings out, and meanwhile we just remain as good friends first. i’m just wondering, should i give him more time? and if so, how much time is considered enough? should we set a deadline, or should i give him as much as time as he requires until he’s ready to make a decision? but if so, wont i be waiting for his answer indefinitely?

        to be honest, i was pretty hurt by what he told me, cos i felt that he led me on right from the start. if he wasnt so sweet and nice to me, i wouldnt really have started liking him. but now that i do, i’m worried that i’ll be hurt further if i give him more time, but in the end, he still tells me that he’s not willing to commit and be with me. yet another part of me feels like i should give him/us a chance, especially cos he is honestly very sweet to me (much more than i am to him even though apparently i like him more than he likes me).

        i also wonder, can love be nurtured? if love can be slowly developed, then perhaps giving him more time will help him to be sure of his love for me. but if you only have “special feelings”/sparks for the right one and no one else, then it might not be of any use for me to give him more time, since the sparks will not just appear between us as we’ve already known each other for so long? thanks for any help or advice!

        COMMENT: His previous “hurt” may have something to do with this. But if he is always right by your side, giving you attention, helping you out, being your friend…….that sounds more like what a relationship should develop from, from friendship, not from romance and sex etc. If he enjoys your companionship and you he, that sounds like something in the making, why do you need to rush love? Love does not insist on it’s own way. It sounds like you may have something precious in developement, something most people miss in their relationships……the joy of true friendship.

      18. 18
        Andrew Says:

        Wow! Great article. I now know that she loves me. What she does tells it all. It is really true, words speak louder than words. Thanks!

      19. 19
        Kerian Says:

        I am trying to find the answer for my personal relationship. I recently wrote a blog on it. My boyfriend cares a lot for me but I am not convinced it is love.

      20. 20
        Joy Says:

        Well, your article answered my question. For over a year, almost 2, I’ve been with a guy who I thought loved me. I always told him he were my best friend, but he said it weren’t possible for lovers to be friends. He eventually abused me and I had to fight back. Then he willingly, without a ton of thought or effort, moved out and back to the state he moved from to be with me, which is 1900 miles away. That was the only thing he did that showed me (what I thought) was love. He was mean to my 5 year old and blamed my kid for it all. But he never really showed he cared by helping me when i was sick, or taking care of me when I was sore, never really wanted to spend time with me. He spent hours a day on the computer when he wasn’t at work. Then he lost his job and spent even MORE hours on the computer. He claimed it helped him forget about missing his family. Yeah right, he just didn’t care about me. Now that he moved back, we never broke up, but we are trying the long distance thing, again. It’s failing. He never has time for me, never texts, never Calls. He says he’s sorry he has a life, he’s sorry that he can’t help me. He tells me it’s not his problem to deal with and he’s trying to force me to move back East with him, 1900 miles away from my family, the only family my kids know. His family never bothered to come visit his first born son, my (as I’m writing this) 8 month old son. They promised to be there when he was born because it was a scheduled c-section (doctors orders) and they never bothered. I guess it’s time for me to let go and move on. Thanks for the article!

        COMMENT: Sadly many men know what they want, sex, but they do not know how to love, even though they think they do. Love does not focus on itself. “I love you” is an EXTERNAL expression, that should be followed up with EXTERNAL actions. Now you too made some mistakes that you need to take ownership of; first and foremost, you should not give yourself away before marriage. If a guy loves you, let him show you in actions with a ring, and the follow through of matrimony. In the future take the time to build a foundation of friendship and keep sex out of the equation until after the wedding.

      21. 21
        crystal Says:

        Hi Jon,
        Nice ideas.. I always read your daily newsletters. I had a friend we were once close to each other and i knew he cared about me because even when he went away abroad for studies he still kept in touch.He always said he cares.we are still separated for 4years now we haven’t seen each other.the communication gets fainter n now he barely call n reply just when i write.except for my birthday anniversary when he willingly sends me a mail…i often ask myself if its because he knows i love him dearly (even though we didnt sleep with each other)he says he cares but hadly writes nor call.anyway i asked him if he wants to guit being good friends, because the writing on the wall is so clear,but he hasn’t responded to that email until now.
        I hope i made the right decision by stopping the communication!!

        RESPONSE: Well one way to prevent communication is by submitting an email address to us that is inaccurate. With regards to your comments, (1st paragraph), I will suggest to you that if someone loves you they will show it in their actions. If a man wants to pursue a relationship he will do so in a manner that should be quite obvious, and attempting to communicate in a regular fashion would be a prerequisite. God has someone for you, and the closer you get to God, the closer you will get to the Godly man God has intended for you.

      22. 22
        Alisha Says:

        I have male male friend which have known him for nearly 22 years and both of us married already. Recently, we keep texting each other & out of blues, I fall for him and confront to him but he advise me to take it slowly because we live in a small country where peoples easily knows. SO now, when i ask him if he doesn’t want me to fall deeper for him, i want him to tell me but he didn’t say anything. I already have informed him that i will let go my feelings towards him cz i don’t want my good relationship ruin due to my stupidness. I know its wrong since i have husband but i cant control it. he is very nice/caring guy which maybe of that i fall for him. Now, my heart hurt & what shall i do now. pls advise. Thanks.

        RESPONSE: The water is greener where you water it, not on another pasture. You can control yourself and you should consider the selfishness that is consuming you.

      23. 23
        Hemmal Dena Says:

        Located your article pretty appealing in truth. I actually appreciated looking at it so you make quite some great points. I am going to bookmark this website with the long run! Relly great write-up.

      24. 24
        chavelle Says:

        i got pregnant for a guy a year and a half ago, and things have running a bit roughly between us cuz he cheats a lot and insist that i am the one he loves recently he met a white girl and he says he’s only with her because of the money. i just can’t wrap my head around all that. he also says he’s doing it for the both of us in case he travels he would help me and his son what do you think i should do stay or leave him cuz i am so confused

        REPLY: Think with your head and not with your emotions. There is a reason you can’t wrap your head around all that, it’s because your head knows better. Let him give you a ring and a certificate of marriage, or let him pay child support, (you should consider getting legal custody of the child).

      25. 25
        Jasmine Italroz Says:

        I agree with Kerian statement that "My boyfriend cares a lot for me but I am not convinced it is love." I don't know why, but still I can't say that he loves me that much. Because every time we have some misunderstanding, he always said that he will leave me. But it only happens when we have any misunderstanding. But when we are okey, he's so good to me and he cares me a lot. I sometimes wonder if is it love that he feels on me? Why he can able to say that he will going to leave me then? Sounds confusing, but I really need your advice..

        RESPONSE: Real love is steady, not like a light switch that is turned on and off. However, people tend to say and do stupid things when they are NOT in control of their emotions. Most people do not really know what love is, too many people think it’s just something they receive. Love is always giving, it is never self centered. Maturity could be an issue at some level, but so could be wisdom.

      26. 26
        Sofia Says:

        Ok so I’m really confused right now! Been with my bf for 2 nd half years, I got mad at him recently nd wanted to break up. Becsuse I only see him once a week, and he’s always rushing to come home after we have sex he said he needs to come home bcoz his mom is gonna bugg on him nd shit then this time he said he needs to get a haircut he needs to call his hairdresser I’m like dude seriously your haircut is more important than me? I kno he’s pretty busy. Am I selfish? To get mad nd break up bcos of it. Then later on he said sorry, he’s like sorry for not loving you enough? What does that even mean! Ugh he said I was his first Gf nd everything he’s family oriented he’s albanian nd I’m Asian his parents doesn’t like me bcos I’m Asian. He said he loves me I don’t believe it anymore I’m super confused idk if I still wnna be with him of if its goin to work. I love him more than anything in this world.

        COMMENT: If you give a man what he wants, sex, he will happily take it, and then when the need arises he will come again. Do you like to be used for sex? How about you wait for a ring and a certificate of marriage?

      27. 27
        Elizabeth Says:

        Hi, your article is helping. i am in love with a man for three years now, at first it was so good. He was married man but was having a problem in their marriage coz of the wife who use to cheat on him, late he fall in love with me and than we stay but he did apply for a divorce in 2009 May. from last year when ever i sms him he dont reply but reply sometime. but we are far from each other, and he only call when he come to me. and now i think he doesnt love me anymore or is it because he’s in his divorce process and dont want to be destept but he use to tell me that he dont rush for a person he love. pls advise me do you think he love’s me?

        COMMENT: A person is not single and AVAILABLE as long as they are married. Secondly, the wife used to cheat on him? What is he doing with you? What is that called exactly? Keep your distance from anyone who still has a married relationship, it’s not healthy for you.

      28. 28
        Elsie Says:

        Hi! My boyfriend and i we’ve been together now nearly two months and he wanted to have sex with me but i’m scared because one day i’m scared if we broke up each other and i really love him but he said he can wait coz sex is not important for him then he said he always like me.then he is on holiday at the moment for a month i thought he is not gonna keep in touch with me coz he is busy with his family.but when i got his text. i was so happy.do you think he likes me?thanks. elsie

        REPLY: Sex should be kept out of the relationship until marriage, if he really loves you, let him give you a ring. If you give yourself up prematurely you could very well end up with a broken heart, which would partially be by your own undoing.

      29. 29
        Brittany Says:

        I think me posting this might sound stupid to you but i’m really lost… I met someone where i go to school and he was great. we use to talk all the time but i lost service on my phone and we cut off contact for awhile. He left the school and graduated last weekend, and he asked me if i wanted to hangout with him, so i did. I thought what we did was in the heat of the moment so it was okay… later i resumed service on my phone and now i haven’t heard anything from him. i wanted and still want to pursue a relationship with him but I honestly don’t know what to do. I’ve been backing off thinking that might help but i have no clue what I’m doing, he’s the sweetest guy I’ve ever met and he’s never done this before…

        REPLY: What did you do in the “heat of the moment”? I hope you did not give yourself away. Instead of playing cat and mouse, why don’t start by calling him? … Hey, how are you?

      30. 30
        Alexis Says:

        I have a male friend he told me he loved me and when I say something like I don’t believe you he gets mad. What does that mean?

        REPLY: If he truly loves you, let him get you a ring.

      31. 31
        Lydia Says:

        hey i loved what you just said that is so true.they is a guy i’ve known he about a year and a half.now we are in a relationship for about one month.so he used to call me and text me now he only keep in contact with me on facebook.everytime we have to meet he always changes his mind telling me he is busy with his studies and staff and we meet only once in a week or after two weeks but then he always tells me that he loves me and miss me alot but he doesn’t prove and i told him about it and he said no i shouldn’t worry about how he will prove that he loves me and one day i wil see.so im getting tired of this,or am i asking too much?or is it too soon to ask for more actions?please help what should i do?.

        Comment: If someone wants to be with you they will not be full of excuses. Make sure you do not give yourself away prematurely.

      32. 32
        Joseph oselumhense imoni Says:

        I have an experience where the lady that claim to love me though after so much push, has been keeping quiet without calling me at all. She doesn’t see it as frustrating and heart-breaking not to say “i love you” or to think that she is wrong. I confronted her about it even making her to open up to me with urgency whether she love me or not in order for me not to waste my time, she just simply pick offense and start insulting me. It was unimaginable.

        COMMENT: Sounds like you are pushing way too hard, try treating her like a soft peddle that can break easily.

      33. 33
        ali Says:

        I Love My Best Frnd Ahsin…
        Em Crazy Abt Him
        but he Is Not.. what to do?

        REPLY: How do you love someone without them loving you back? Take the focus off of yourself.

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