Comment: I don’t know why anyone would be comfortable with that, it’s hard to have a relationship without the other person.

Answer: Most women want to feel like they are the chosen one, the special one, the one and only, and they should be made to feel that way. However, guys aren’t always good about showing that, and at other times the women are insecure in their relationship. Sometimes that is due to previous hurts from past relationships reliving themselves in today. I am under the impression that this old fiancée lives in another area. Does your husband spend time with you? Does he come home after work to be with his family, or is he out a lot? When you talk, do you let him know how his actions make you feel? How is the intimate part of your relationship? Is it possible that he may be seeking to fulfill some emotional needs that are not being met by you? Sometimes when people do not feel worthy of maintaining a loving relationship, they end up withdrawing too much, to avoid hurts, (they remember the past things that happened and think it’s happening again), could that be an issue on your side?

Answer: Communicate with the man, he does not think like a woman… because he is not one. Talk with him clearly, in a way he will understand, let him know that just like the pregame show for his favorite sporting event, you need some pregame too. Then tell him what kind of pregame events would excite you.

I have just read your article on “Being a good wife”. I think it is a beautiful article all things being equal. The comments made are perfectly in order. However, there are some situations which you are sometimes faced with, and you really do not know how to deal with them.

I am 58 and has been married for 33 years. My husband and I have been living in the same house in an estranged relationship for the past 24 years. this I know might sound ridiculeous but it is true. We share the finances of the house but we have no phyisical relationship. The truth be told be hardly speak to each other. There are times when it is hard to handle, most times you try not to let it get to you.

We have two grown children. To some extent, I think our lives have affected those of our children. My daughter who was married is now divorced. My son is not a confident person despite the fact that overtly it might appear so.

About 2 years ago I became intimate with someone, but because I am a christian< I had no peace with myself. So I terminated it. It has just left me sad. Because as human being I have needs too.

My husband is 62 and has had sexual disfunctionality for almost all of our active married life. For that reason I cannot find it in my heart to get up and leave him, as it would be very hard for him to have a relationship in that area. I have made up my mind not to leave him, but I again I must say I am very sad.

Answer: It does not sound like you are relating at any level, and relationship is a two way street. Although a sexual dysfunction can certainly have an impact, sex alone does not make a relationship. How do you think he feels about this issue, I mean, really deep down? Probably fairly inadequate, unworthy, and worthless, that is a pretty difficult place for a man to be. Now, there are a lot of things that are not known from your comments. I wonder what the doctors have said about the dysfunctional issue, but I also wonder how are both of your relationships with God? True joy comes from God, so it sounds like there is a relational problem there as well. First seek the kingdom of heaven and all these things will be given unto you.