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      Listening; I Wish My Husband Would Listen To Me

      By Guide

      Wishes do come true, but for many wives it’s going to take more than a wish to get their husbands, or boyfriends to listen. You can make a wish and wait for something to happen, or you can initiate your wishes productively. Just as you are a couple, there are a few areas where listening deficiency occurs. However, if you really wish that your husband would listen to you, then you may need to do some work with your communication. First understand that your husband is a man, he is not a woman, your husband does not think like you, nor does he listen like you. You need to look to find the happy medium of communicating with him, that means that you can not do it from your womanly thinking mannerisms. You are not communicating with a woman, you are communicating with a man.

      Many women like to drop subtle hints, hoping that their husbands can reach into their pockets and pull out a trusty crystal ball that will enable them to read in between the lines. Sure your mom may know what you are saying, your girlfriends may know as well, but they are women. You can not compare your husband to a woman, (well in most cases you can’t). Your husband is not a mind reader, it’s important that you learn how to convey your communications to him in a manner that he will clearly understand. This begins with you understanding where he is at and then adjusting as necessary.

      In order for you to comprehend where he is at you are going to need to pay attention to him. Now, some women just had the thought in their heads that says; "why, he doesn’t pay attention to me?" He may not be paying attention because he is mainly a single tasker, unlike woman who are multitaskers. Men can become deeply engulfed in something, they become highly focused on one task, and they are generally very good at it. Men are not listening when they are in this state of focus! Wives, you are going to need to wait for him to stop and turn his attention to you. Now, you may ask him to do so, but be aware that if he is engaged in something that requires his concentration, he may not just put it down immediately. So have some patience and understand that he needs to finish his task or come to a point where he can pause, unless you just broke water or something.

      You need to be looking for his undivided attention, because he is not good at dividing it! So if you are talking and he is saying; "ahu, ahu," then you know he is not focused on you. One way to resolve this listening issue may be to wait for eye to eye contact. Now some women get to this point, they make some of their wishes, concerns, or other communications known. They then stop talking for a short period, and they go about multitasking, the husband thinks the wife has now voiced herself and he leaves the room. The next thing he knows is that he is down the hall, thirty feet away, and she is talking again, or perhaps he does not hear her at all. Then she will later say, "well I told you", when he was not even in bionic ear listening distance.

      There are others area in which communication can breakdown between men and women. One of these areas is the "I’m not going to listen to you, because I am preserving my ego area." It’s the area of hard headed stubbornness that seems to know it all and lack any humility. Now, this happens with both husbands and wives, so don’t pretend that you don’t have any areas like this within you, cause you do. I am not trying to offend you, I am just telling you the truth, and if you accept it, you will be better off in doing so. In fact, it might just help some of your wishes come true! Sometimes ego’s are so busy butting heads that the only thing they accomplish is the acquisition of headaches. In this area of blockage, a partner is going to need to be calm and use wisdom to bring conveyance into the communication. What? Conveyance is the act of transporting something from one location to another, often in the transmission of information.

      If two people are talking, who is listening? Think about that for a moment, then think about it when you wish that your husband would listen to you. How well are you about taking turns and listening to him? You both need to convey your communications to each other in a manner that will make sense to the other person. So you need to ask yourself this question; How do I do that? Listen; sometimes you feel like you are talking to the wall because you are not communicating in the necessary mannerisms for the other person to understand. Your communication is only effective when it connects to the place where the other listener hears it. This does not mean that your interpretation or opinion is going to be accurate, or that it will be accepted, it may not be. There are some people want to have the last say, just so they can have things their way!

      You think your spouse hears you based on what you say, when in reality, the meaning of your words are not what you are saying, the meaning of your words is the outcome you get from what THEY HEAR YOU SAY. It is their interpretation of what you are communicating that matters most significantly. This is why it is so important that you convey your communication to them, at the level that they need it presented. We often don’t comprehend things because they are not presented in a way that our perception will understand. This is one reason for communication breakdown, sometimes people become frustrated because they can not express themselves clearly to others, and some get mad at their partners for their own inabilities. It’s always the other guys fault you know!

      If they don’t comprende englishe, try repositioning your communication for them, rephrase your words in a different manner. Then ask them to clarify, if need be, so that you are sure that there are no misconceptions or misunderstandings. They are in the same circumstance in trying to understand you, as you are trying understanding them. You want to come to a place where you both share the same meaning, the same understanding, it is critical that you take the necessary time to accomplish this. You see,  you don’t really wish that your husband would listen to you, you wish that your husbands perception would understand what you are attempting to convey to him. Hopefully, what I have just tried to convey to you will be helpful to you, that is my wish.


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