Tarjetas
Cumpleaños

Happy
New Year

Merry Christmas

Funny Love Notes

Ways To Say
I Love You

Cute Happy Birthday

Happy Anniversary

Great Day
Ideas

Best Friend
Letters

Valentine's Day

Great All Occasion Gifts


  • Love Advice

  • Relationships & Love Feelings

  • Love Quotes

    Don’t just say I love you, DO it!

  • Thinking About Love

  • Relationships Site Map    

    Love Messages


    The Best Relationship Love Advice Ever

    Love Like A Diamond, Sphere Of Love Performance Techniques

    Top Dating Advice And Tips For Singles

    Maintaining A Happy Marriage With Congruent Appreciation

    Love Grows Through Humility

    Forgiveness Is Loves Prerequisite

    Expand Love, Increase Your Personal Assets

    Top Ten Reasons Why I Love You

    Best Reasons For Marriage

    Lost Your Love Feelings

    Be The Real You, You're Valuable

    Free Yourself From Previous Pains

    Valentine's Day Ideas

    REALLY CUTE GIFT IDEAS
    FTD.com
    Romantic Gold Roses Delivered!
    14 days free

    Living Together Before Getting Married

    Speaking Words Of Love

    Say I Love You Moments

    True Feelings Of Love

    Quality Time, Needing Attention And Affection

    Dating Clothing, Your Dating Clothes

    I Love You, An Outward Expression

    Super Healthy Love Thoughts

    Love With An Otherness Mindset

    Love Is Most Important

    Best Love Quotes Top Romantic Quotations Love Verses

    Why Did He Cheat On Me?

    Top 3 Reasons For Marriage Problems

    Staying Together Is Loves Commitment

    Fixing Marriage Problems

    Solving Your Relationship Issues

    Understanding Emotions And Controlling Anger

    Love Problems And Solutions

    What Happens When You Don't Love Your Spouse?

    Healthy Love Advice Unlocking The Barriers To Love

    Top 100 Questions Before Getting Divorced

    Cheating In Marriage, Sexual Affairs

    Helpful Insights Into The Two Sexes

    Men In Touch With Their Feelings

    Positive Thinking Behaviors

    Speaking Life To Each Other

    Best Dating Questions To Ask Your Dates

    How Do I Know If He Loves Me?

    Tips to improve your sex life

    He or She Won't Have Sex With Me

    Assuming Communication Without Communicating

    How To Better Communicate With Your Spouse or Partner

    Love Guidelines For A Happy Marriage

    Increase Love By Multiplying Its Expansion

    Discerning Character, Dating Advice

    Top Ten Ways Boyfriends Can Say I Love You

    « | Showing | »

    Accepting Mistakes, Admitting Faults Without Guilt & Shame

    By Guide

    Many people have trouble being real with themselves and with others because they associate their mistakes and / or faults with guilt and or shame. They may feel that when they admit their mistakes that they are somehow less of a person, that they are inferior and lack worthiness. This could not be farther from the truth, but previous notations from within them may be causing this conflict. For instance, you may have come to feel as if you were not good enough by a parent, a spouse, or perhaps by some demeaning people, and those old negatives still come up and play a part in your life today.

    Admitting your mistakes or faults should actually be quite liberating for you. Because when you admit and accept your mistakes, blemishes, shortcomings, and faults you are no longer trying to live up to some unrealistic model of perfection. Whoooo! What a relief it is! The battle of trying to be perfect is one you are going to lose. This does not mean that you lower your standards or that you act with irresponsibility, it simply means that you accept the fact that you are going to make mistakes. When you accept this truth you will stop being so hard on yourself, and by the way, stop having unrealistic expectations of others, (including your spouse). Furthermore, you will learn that by simply realizing your inability to be perfect, that you can forgive yourself for those things that guilt is trying to hold you to in condemnation.

    Are you coming to a realization right now? Look, we all miss turns, so we make u-turns! We have all split the milk, so we have all had to wiped it up. Not a single person on this planet is perfect, that includes your mother, father, boyfriend, spouse, and your boss. Why attempt to achieve that which is unobtainable? You can't do it, quit beating yourself down because of your mistakes. So you forgot to pay an important bill or you made a bad decision. Accept it and make efforts to improve for the next time, but don't go around hanging your head low because you fell short of perfection.

    Being accountable for your actions and taking responsibility is necessary, but within those aspects there are learning and growth processes. When you bump your head on the overhanging door you learn to watch out for brain bashing obstacles. You accept that you were not paying good attention, you make a mental note, so that in the future you will avoid the same headaches. When you accept your mistakes without guilt or shame, you allow growth increase, and you alleviate other possible headaches!

    We all miss the boat and end up on the train sometimes, but we keep moving in progression. Life is a constant learning lesson, you know the saying "we learn from our mistakes", right? Well, everyone is going through similar processes in which life often hands us learning curves. It's how we react to those curves that matter. When we stop trying to be perfect and take on humble attitudes our maturity expands. And, with this understanding we begin to look at others differently as well. When we realize and accept that our companions are going through similar processes, we will quit trying to hold them up to some level of perfection in our own eyes.

    Your personal strengths are unique unto you, just as your weaknesses are likely to be. Other people in your life, such as your spouse, will be strong in areas that you are not, and weak in areas that you are strong. You are meant to compliment each other, not to pick upon each others weaknesses. This is not to say that there is something wrong with them pointing out those weaknesses, because we all have blind spots in our rear view mirrors that block our insights that we need to know about. It is saying that you point out areas of weakness for growth advancement, and then love those people with their blemishes. It's not to pick on their blemishes as if you do not have any.

    Addictions or poor behaviors do not make people invaluable or lesser, everybody has some sort of addiction of some kind. Addictions are those things in which are done in repetitious manners. As a simple example, I drink coke on a regular basis, that is one of my addictions. Since everyone has some sort of addiction it makes them normal, it does not make them losers. Yes, there are some serious addictions that people need help with for their health and safety, but that does not mean that they lack purpose or that they are unworthy in any way. God has a way of taking the most unlikely people, restoring them for His good, and then elevating them to higher levels for the good of others.

    Everyday you have the opportunity to cut yourself and others some slack. When your spouse fumbles the ball, you reach down and pick it up for them. When you realize that you have made an error in choice, direction, or perhaps said something that you wish you could take back, accept it as a mistake, say oops and make the most of it without making yourself to feel bad about it. Sure, apologize when necessary, you are likely to be met with love and understanding when you do.

    Proverbs 17:9 says; He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or haps on a matter separates even close friends. It's pretty clear isn't it? Love overlooks mistakes and faults, we are to overlook those mistakes that others make, why are do we not do the same for ourselves? As I already touched on, it's because we are trying to live up to some illusional model of perfection, even as we are stubbing our toe on the door jam. Take a deep breath, and when you exhale let out all those things that you have been feeling shame or guilt about by way of unintentional mistakes. Ask God for his forgiveness, even for intentional mistakes, and then be willing to receive His grace.

    Accepting Mistakes Quotes & Admitting Your Mistakes Quotations:

    While one person hesitates because he feels inferior, the other is busy making mistakes and becoming superior. -Henry C. Link

    Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. -Cullen Hightower

    Assert your right to make a few mistakes. If people can't accept your imperfections, that's their fault. -Dr. David M. Burns

    The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one. -Elbert Hubbard

    Experience is that marvelous thing that enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again. -Franklin P. Jones

    When you make a mistake, don't look back at it long. Take the reason of the thing into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed. The future is yet in your power. -Hugh White

    Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes. -Mahatma Gandhi

    Mistakes, obviously, show us what needs improving. Without mistakes, how would we know what we had to work on? -Peter McWilliams

    To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all. -Peter McWilliams

    Topics: Control Issues | 2 Comments »

    After reading the love article, do you feel that you have personally benefited by the insight? Do you think you have benefited by a value of at least $5 dollars? It does cost money to run this web site, your gifts of gratitude would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!





    2 Responses to “Accepting Mistakes, Admitting Faults Without Guilt & Shame”

    1. 1
      MONICA L. Says:

      I NEED ADVICE RECENTLY MY EX-FIANCE AND I BROKE UP BECAUSE OF TO MUCH ARGUING WHICH WE LIVED IN HIS MOTHERS HOUSE AND WE BOTH DID NOT WORK DUE TO BACK SURGERIES. I AM NOW EMPLOYED AS A NURSES AIDE BUT HE STILL ISN’T. HE WANTS TO START AS FRIENDS BUT ITS SO HARD FOR ME. I ALWAYS THOUGHT WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARGUE THEY DON’T STOP LOVING EACH OTHER. EVERYONE DOES ARGUE BUT THEY DON’T STOP LOVING EACH OTHER. MAYBE HE DIDN’T REALLY LOVE ME THE WAY HE SAID HE DID AND WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED. I’M SO CONFUSED. WE DO GET TOGETHER AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK BUT ITS SO HARD ON MY PART BECAUSE I STILL LOVE HIM. HE SAID HE LOVES ME AS A FRIEND. EVER SINCE HE BECAME A CHRISTIAN HE TOTALLY CHANGED TO WORSE. I HAVE THE LORD IN MY LIFE TOO. I BALANCE MY LIFE ON EARTH. WOULD’NT YOU THINK WHEN SOMEONE HAS THE LORD IN THEIR LIFE THAT THEY WOULD ACT BETTER THAN WORSE. PLEASE HELP ME WITH SOME GOOD ADVICE. GETTING VERY DEPRESS OVER THIS SITUATION IN MY LIFE BECAUSE OF LOVING HIM SO MUCH. HIS LOVE TURNS HOT TO COLD FOR 10 MONTHS NOW. DESPERATE FOR ADVICE. THANK YOU

      Answer: When 2 people are arguing they are trying to avoid or trying get something, the question is what are you trying to get or avoid? You must first look at your side before resolution can come. The most common occurrence in an argument is 1 or both partners are not being honest, and 1 or both partners are being selfish. Now since you represent 50% of the argument, you need to look at your own intentions first. Are you being honest before God? Stop and look; before you can be honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself and with God. When someone does not want to accept or admit truth they are in denial, often a byproduct of their own ego preservation. Another common issue is that one person points all the fingers at the other and does not take ownership of their own stuff. Niether one of you are perfect, you both make mistakes, when are you going to admit your shortcomings and quit trying to be perfect?

    2. 2
      ben Says:

      Thanks for these notes: As a young boy, I would wake up in the night feeling intense shame for wrong things I did in school to hurt others. I also had nightmares. I’m realizing I never really outgrew these things, though I thought I did. Now I am feeling a block in intimacy with my wife, an intense pain in my heart. I give her “digs” very often, and she doesn’t take them well. I have a hard time stopping the digs and our relationship is in dire straits, despite counseling help. How can I heal and move on?

      Answer: Ben you may be replaying something from your earlier years, perhaps from your childhood. Understanding the source of your pain will help you to receive the healing, it may require some introspection on your behalf. However, if you are truly remorseful for your actions you will repent. Repent means to change, so out of your remorse you make changes. You should start by praying to God, (yourself), and asking Him to help you to get resolution.

    Love Thoughts