Comments on: Accepting Mistakes, Admitting Faults Without Guilt & Shame http://www.flowinglove.com/relationships/index.php/controlling/716/accepting-mistakes-faults-guilt/ Love Advice, Relationships Guide, Love Tips Fri, 20 Jan 2012 05:18:58 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: ben http://www.flowinglove.com/relationships/index.php/controlling/716/accepting-mistakes-faults-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-2737 ben Thu, 18 Feb 2010 05:56:56 +0000 http://www.flowinglove.com/relationships/?p=716#comment-2737 Thanks for these notes: As a young boy, I would wake up in the night feeling intense shame for wrong things I did in school to hurt others. I also had nightmares. I'm realizing I never really outgrew these things, though I thought I did. Now I am feeling a block in intimacy with my wife, an intense pain in my heart. I give her "digs" very often, and she doesn't take them well. I have a hard time stopping the digs and our relationship is in dire straits, despite counseling help. How can I heal and move on? Answer: Ben you may be replaying something from your earlier years, perhaps from your childhood. Understanding the source of your pain will help you to receive the healing, it may require some introspection on your behalf. However, if you are truly remorseful for your actions you will repent. Repent means to change, so out of your remorse you make changes. You should start by praying to God, (yourself), and asking Him to help you to get resolution. Thanks for these notes: As a young boy, I would wake up in the night feeling intense shame for wrong things I did in school to hurt others. I also had nightmares. I’m realizing I never really outgrew these things, though I thought I did. Now I am feeling a block in intimacy with my wife, an intense pain in my heart. I give her “digs” very often, and she doesn’t take them well. I have a hard time stopping the digs and our relationship is in dire straits, despite counseling help. How can I heal and move on?

Answer: Ben you may be replaying something from your earlier years, perhaps from your childhood. Understanding the source of your pain will help you to receive the healing, it may require some introspection on your behalf. However, if you are truly remorseful for your actions you will repent. Repent means to change, so out of your remorse you make changes. You should start by praying to God, (yourself), and asking Him to help you to get resolution.

]]> By: MONICA L. http://www.flowinglove.com/relationships/index.php/controlling/716/accepting-mistakes-faults-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-2628 MONICA L. Tue, 01 Dec 2009 19:56:00 +0000 http://www.flowinglove.com/relationships/?p=716#comment-2628 I NEED ADVICE RECENTLY MY EX-FIANCE AND I BROKE UP BECAUSE OF TO MUCH ARGUING WHICH WE LIVED IN HIS MOTHERS HOUSE AND WE BOTH DID NOT WORK DUE TO BACK SURGERIES. I AM NOW EMPLOYED AS A NURSES AIDE BUT HE STILL ISN'T. HE WANTS TO START AS FRIENDS BUT ITS SO HARD FOR ME. I ALWAYS THOUGHT WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARGUE THEY DON'T STOP LOVING EACH OTHER. EVERYONE DOES ARGUE BUT THEY DON'T STOP LOVING EACH OTHER. MAYBE HE DIDN'T REALLY LOVE ME THE WAY HE SAID HE DID AND WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED. I'M SO CONFUSED. WE DO GET TOGETHER AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK BUT ITS SO HARD ON MY PART BECAUSE I STILL LOVE HIM. HE SAID HE LOVES ME AS A FRIEND. EVER SINCE HE BECAME A CHRISTIAN HE TOTALLY CHANGED TO WORSE. I HAVE THE LORD IN MY LIFE TOO. I BALANCE MY LIFE ON EARTH. WOULD'NT YOU THINK WHEN SOMEONE HAS THE LORD IN THEIR LIFE THAT THEY WOULD ACT BETTER THAN WORSE. PLEASE HELP ME WITH SOME GOOD ADVICE. GETTING VERY DEPRESS OVER THIS SITUATION IN MY LIFE BECAUSE OF LOVING HIM SO MUCH. HIS LOVE TURNS HOT TO COLD FOR 10 MONTHS NOW. DESPERATE FOR ADVICE. THANK YOU Answer: When 2 people are arguing they are trying to avoid or trying get something, the question is what are you trying to get or avoid? You must first look at your side before resolution can come. The most common occurrence in an argument is 1 or both partners are not being honest, and 1 or both partners are being selfish. Now since you represent 50% of the argument, you need to look at your own intentions first. Are you being honest before God? Stop and look; before you can be honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself and with God. When someone does not want to accept or admit truth they are in denial, often a byproduct of their own ego preservation. Another common issue is that one person points all the fingers at the other and does not take ownership of their own stuff. Niether one of you are perfect, you both make mistakes, when are you going to admit your shortcomings and quit trying to be perfect? I NEED ADVICE RECENTLY MY EX-FIANCE AND I BROKE UP BECAUSE OF TO MUCH ARGUING WHICH WE LIVED IN HIS MOTHERS HOUSE AND WE BOTH DID NOT WORK DUE TO BACK SURGERIES. I AM NOW EMPLOYED AS A NURSES AIDE BUT HE STILL ISN’T. HE WANTS TO START AS FRIENDS BUT ITS SO HARD FOR ME. I ALWAYS THOUGHT WHEN TWO PEOPLE ARGUE THEY DON’T STOP LOVING EACH OTHER. EVERYONE DOES ARGUE BUT THEY DON’T STOP LOVING EACH OTHER. MAYBE HE DIDN’T REALLY LOVE ME THE WAY HE SAID HE DID AND WE WERE GOING TO GET MARRIED. I’M SO CONFUSED. WE DO GET TOGETHER AT LEAST THREE TIMES A WEEK BUT ITS SO HARD ON MY PART BECAUSE I STILL LOVE HIM. HE SAID HE LOVES ME AS A FRIEND. EVER SINCE HE BECAME A CHRISTIAN HE TOTALLY CHANGED TO WORSE. I HAVE THE LORD IN MY LIFE TOO. I BALANCE MY LIFE ON EARTH. WOULD’NT YOU THINK WHEN SOMEONE HAS THE LORD IN THEIR LIFE THAT THEY WOULD ACT BETTER THAN WORSE. PLEASE HELP ME WITH SOME GOOD ADVICE. GETTING VERY DEPRESS OVER THIS SITUATION IN MY LIFE BECAUSE OF LOVING HIM SO MUCH. HIS LOVE TURNS HOT TO COLD FOR 10 MONTHS NOW. DESPERATE FOR ADVICE. THANK YOU

Answer: When 2 people are arguing they are trying to avoid or trying get something, the question is what are you trying to get or avoid? You must first look at your side before resolution can come. The most common occurrence in an argument is 1 or both partners are not being honest, and 1 or both partners are being selfish. Now since you represent 50% of the argument, you need to look at your own intentions first. Are you being honest before God? Stop and look; before you can be honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself and with God. When someone does not want to accept or admit truth they are in denial, often a byproduct of their own ego preservation. Another common issue is that one person points all the fingers at the other and does not take ownership of their own stuff. Niether one of you are perfect, you both make mistakes, when are you going to admit your shortcomings and quit trying to be perfect?

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