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      100 Divorcing Questions Before Getting A Divorce

      By Guide

      1. Do you feel that you are an honest person?
      2. Do you think that you are flawless?
      3. Do you make hurtful comments when you are hurt?
      4. Do you think that your emotions think better than your brain?
      5. Do you think that your spouse is flawless?
      6. Do you think that sometimes your emotions are in control of you?
      7. Do you believe that you are partly responsible for the issues in your marriage?
      8. Do you think that surrounding circumstances and problems affect your marriage?
      9. Does money affect how you treat your spouse?
      10. Do you feel that you are free from any emotional residue from your past?
      11. Are you ever selfish?
      12. Do you try to communicate with your spouse in a manner that they will clearly understand?
      13. What is love?
      14. Do you ever regret the things you say when you are emotional or angry?
      15. Do you have any problems with drugs or alcohol?
      16. When you are angry, do you stop loving the other person?
      17. Did you try to meet your spouses needs the way that they needed them met?
      18. Have you read the book The Love Dare or watched the movie FireProof?
      19. Do you think that you have any childhood pains that relive themselves in the present in some manner?
      20. Do you nitpik?
      21. Was there any physical abuse in your relationship?
      22. Have you ever lied?
      23. Name any addictions, of any kind, that you have.
      24. Do you always focus on the things you don't like about your spouse?
      25. Do you know that love is a choice, that you chose to love or not?
      26. Do you honestly believe that everything is your spouses fault?
      27. When you get angry, does your anger control you?
      28. How much capacity do you have for forgiveness?
      29. Do you extend grace to others knowing that they have blemishes?
      30. Did you pray together with your spouse?
      31. When you make a mistake do you admit it and apologize when needed?
      32. Do you consider yourself a pessimist?
      33. Have either of you seeked out assistance for the issues in your marriage?
      34. Do you take ownership of your own shortcomings?
      35. Did you really try to get help to resolve the issues within your marriage?
      36. Was sex a problem in your marriage?
      37. How many sexual partners did you have before you got married?
      38. Where you focused on meeting your spouses sexual needs or just yours?
      39. What percentage of fault will you take ownership of for the issues in your marriage?
      40. Did you both go to church and read the bible?
      41. Have either of you been to any counselors or therapists?
      42. Do you think that you are perfect and in no need of counseling?
      43. Did you extend mercy for your spouses shortcomings?
      44. Did you think that you would never have any problems when you got married?
      45. Did you have sex with your spouse before you got married?
      46. Do you have unreasonable expectations of your spouse?
      47. Do you consider yourself to be other focused or self focused?
      48. Has money been a contributing factor to the problems in your marriage?
      49. Do you have memories from the past that impact your current reactions or decisions?
      50. Did you know that before your can be honest with others, that you must first be honest with yourself and with God?
      51. Do you really feel that you made many unsuccessful attempts to get resolve for the issues in your marriage?
      52. Are there things that you want to avoid talking about, because you do not want to admit them?
      53. Do you really think that you are free of all emotional baggage?
      54. Did you know that anger is a secondary emotion to the primary emotions of fear, hurt, and frustration, which can include selfishness?
      55. Do you stomp your feet when you do not get things your way?
      56. Can you think of anyone who has caused you a hurt?
      57. Do you now realize that you have some emotional baggage?
      58. Did you know that when you admit your weaknesses that you mature?
      59. Did you know that in order to love that you must be able to forgive?
      60. Do you get upset when others hold you accountable for your actions?
      61. Wouldn't you like to be forgiven for all of your mistakes?
      62. Have any of these questions bothered you so far?
      63. Has victimhood ever been an issue within your relationship?
      64. Do you play the victim to all your friends while you are blaming your spouse?
      65. Do you have an accountibility partner who can help you be honest with yourself?
      66. Are you harboring any feelings of bitterness within you?
      67. Did you ever physically abuse your spouse in any way?
      68. Are you attempting to cover up any truths so you do not have to face yourself?
      69. Do you want to make the other person pay for what you feel that they did to you?
      70. Do you know that forgiveness is a process?
      71. Do you gossip to others about your spouse?
      72. Do you tell others half truths?
      73. Are you overly critical about yourself?
      74. Did you know that if you do not respect yourself, that you will have a hard time respecting others?
      75. Is it important to you that other people think highly of you?
      76. Do you try to please others to a point of sacrificing your own integrity?
      77. Did you know that in order to be strong you must first admit your weaknesses?
      78. Do you turn love on like a light switch, where you love when you feel like it?
      79. Did you know that the pains you have are your pains, that you carry them around?
      80. Do you consider yourself to be understanding and compassionate?
      81. Do you ever stop and ask yourself why you are angry?
      82. Do you believe in love?
      83. Do you believe in God?
      84. Have you given significant thought to what the root problem is in your marriage?
      85. How well do you think you handle stressful situations?
      86. Does your stress ever effect your relationship?
      87. When you are in an argument, do you stop and ask yourself if you are being selfish?
      88. Do you often point the finger at your spouse without pointing it at yourself?
      89. Did you know that in order for others to forgive you that you must first admit your fault, (confessing), then repenting, (stop doing the wrongful things), and then provide restitution when appropriate?
      90. Are you unwilling to do things for others unless it benefits you?
      91. Did you know that the root problems in most marriages stem from selfishness, dishonesty, and pride?
      92. Do you know that women and men think completely differently and that you can not meet your spouses needs your way?
      93. Ultimately who do you think supplies all your needs?
      94. Did you know that people are dishonest because they do not want to admit their imperfections, (due to pride)?
      95. Have you felt an uneasy feeling while answering some of these questions?
      96. Did you know that God is inviting you to be honest with yourself right now?
      97. On a scale of 1 to 10, how much love do you actually show your spouse?
      98. Is there any part of you that wants to reconcile your relationship now?
      99. Have these questions helped you to better understand yourself and your spouse?
      100. Do you think that there is still no hope for your marriage?





      Topics: Split Ups & Divorce | 7 Comments »

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      7 Responses to “100 Divorcing Questions Before Getting A Divorce”

      1. Marriage Prayer Requests Praying For Marriages Relationships | Grace Says:
        August 20th, 2009 at 10:20 pm

        Please use this section only if you are in need of prayers for a relationship such as marriage or if you are engaged in some kind of relationship. While praying for your marriage or relational needs it would be most helpful to have your spouses or significant others first name….

      2. Tracey Says:
        August 25th, 2009 at 10:56 am

        Maybe more of us should ask ourselves these questions….ya think?

        September 9th, 2009 at 4:41 am

        I have been married for of 21years in august but my husband and I have been separated for the pass 9 months due to him having an affair with a younger woman named shivani. His name is Philip he wants to come back but something is stopping him. He is always hurting me I don’t know how much of this can I take please help and pray for my marriage I want him back.
        HOWEVER he wants to come back only if I put the house on rent and we move into a flat with our kids we have 2 children Rendell 20 and Lucinda 13. He said he has bad memories of our house And he does not want to live there anymore. I am so confused I do know what to do and the children are not too happy about this move, please advice on what I should do.

        Answer: In order to have clear understanding you need to know certain information. What bad memories does he have of the house? If he commited adultry, why is he making a prerequisite to him coming back? Seems that he should be on his hands and knees begging for forgiveness and then matching that with the actions of repentance. In other words, showing that he is sorry for his errors by trying to make things write. You should pray on this yourself, and ask for insight and clarity. You might also consider a prerequisite of marital counseling for the both of you, it would be beneficial to you both, especially with a Christian counselor.

      4. ray Says:
        April 11th, 2010 at 7:50 pm

        my wife (kuttanee) and i have been through a hard time .. well we got married 2 yrs back, but we haven’t lived together coz she lives in a different country and doing my paper works .well her dad passed away by suicide and due to the stigma in our country about that , i did things that will help my family to tide over it . but this was not taken in the right way , and then what ever i did seems wrong to my wife .. i understand that i had my shortcoming , i accept it . then in between we patched up , but again when she gets angry , she brings it all out and its hurts so bad …. i don’t want to lose her coz i love her so much .

        Forgiveness does not bring up things from the past, however typically many people do…..because they have not truly forgiven. Does she have a relationship with Jesus? Does she know what its like to be forgiven for her mistakes? Sometimes people hold grudges because they themselves have not received forgiveness, they have to be open to it.

      5. Candice | Divorce Advice Says:
        June 30th, 2010 at 8:52 pm

        Going through these questions will definitely save a lot of marriages on the brink of breaking apart. It is imperative to know what the problems are before filing for divorce and try saving it first before opening up to your partner that you want to end things up.

      6. charles Says:
        August 20th, 2010 at 12:56 pm

        I purchased the recommend book and attempted to print 100 questions before getting a divorce but it will not allow me. I wanted to give a copy to my wife can you help? I love her and want her in my life. I read the love Dare and it is a very good book. I wish she would read it, but I have a restaining order against me so my hands are tied.

        REPLY: I have added a link at the bottom of the post so it can be printed.

      7. Charles Says:
        August 23rd, 2010 at 10:57 am

        Now that people can share your questions it should save a marriage on the brink. I hope I can with help!

        Comment, So do I, but they have to be willing to get honest with themselves and quit pointing the finger of blame at the other guy!

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