The key to having respect in your relationship and to having respect in other relationships starts with you. Similar to trust, respect is something that evolves over time and begins by the initiation of respect for each other within the relationship from the relationships onset. However in order for you to be respected, you must first respect your self. There is power in your opinion of yourself, and that opinion will be shown by your own overall demeanor.
How you respect your self will drastically effect how others perceive you, and thus how they respect or disrespect you to some extent. If you do not have a healthy level of self confidence in yourself, you may be perceived as being weak, and many people may look to take advantage of that. Or, they may not readily give you the respect that they should based on your feelings of apprehension, and you are likely to be less respectful of others, treating them within the same mannerisms as you treat your self without necessarily knowing it.
You see, if you do not think of yourself in a healthy manner, you are less likely to think of others in a healthy manner. There is a difference between being conceded and being confident in yourself. The conceded individual, will likely boast about themselves in order to raise up their opinions of themselves. The confident person, does not need to do this, a confident person acts with sureness and speaks with assurance. The one who is unconfident and unsure of themselves may at times belittle or degrade others in an effort to raise themselves up. So if you are finding this kind of issue within the respect of your relationship, you need to first have a look at yourself, in all honesty, before you look at the other person.
Many people look to show an untrue reflection of themselves, this is referred to as portraying a self image. Self image is often a secular termed used by many in psychological fields, but it is often used in a misrepresenting formation. Self image and self esteem are not the same. Image is not necessarily truthful, it is a perception or a portrait, esteem is actual. Image is what people think you are or what you attempt to portray yourself as, character is what we really are. With this understanding you can better do your own self introspection and have an understanding of your own sense of self worth. If you think lowly of yourself, you may be one who often looks for compliments, and you might also be one who has a less than a "can do" attitude. Sometimes we just need to harness our apprehension and use it to power us forward. In order to get past something, or over something, we usually must go through something to reach the other side. This is often how we build confidence, you must persevere. So we can take that feeling of uncertainty, connect it to persistence, and in doing so we have created courage. Do not be afraid of your future, do not be afraid to fail, failures are only steps we learn from, failures only teach us what does not work. But by continuing to press forward with determination, we will find, through experience, that we are able to reach our goals and destinations.
So what if you find that the reason you do not have respect in your relationship is because your spouse or partner does not respect themselves? This is where the key formula of love comes in. In order to love your companion, you will need to build them up through love. No, you do not do this by flattery, you look to strengthen them in the places where their weaknesses are. Most people feel lowly of themselves due to feelings of unworthiness, this is likely because they have been listening to the lies of belittling, and because they over value the opinions of people. They have been trying to live up to the unhealthy projected thoughts and opinions of people and society, and do not know how much God really loves them. God takes delight in you and God rejoices over you……..Let the following settle into your heart for a moment.
The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17).
Look at the first part of that scripture, it says God is with you! You are not alone, you should find that to be of great comfort. Then it says he is mighty to save, he is watching over you. He will take great delight in you, you see you are very special. He will quiet you with his love, He will show you His love, and you will see it if you pay attention to Him. He will rejoice over you with singing, Wow! See how valued you really are? If God thinks of you like this, why should it matter to you how people look upon you? Most of those looks that people give you are unfounded anyway, nobody is capable of determining the character of a book from it’s outward appearance. Besides, it may be those who have poor opinions of themselves who are belittling you anyway. Don’t listen to their foolishness, listen to the one who created you to have a loving relationship with you! When we worry about what other people think, it prevents us from being ourselves. You can’t be someone that you are not. How can you have self confidence in trying to being someone other than who you are?
In order to be respected you must first respect your self, and then if there is a lack of respect within your relationship, consider it’s source. Is it do to a low level of self worth? If so, you are able to come along side of your spouse or partner and bring them encouragement. Help them to realize how much God loves them, how important they really are to you and to God. Help them to overcome and walk with them to persevere. Sometimes it is necessary to also have healthy outside influences as well. Healthy, Godly friends are great people to assist you in the building up of others through love. However, reversely, there may also be those of poor character and of poor influence that are part of the problem. It’s difficult to get healthy around squadrons of toxic people who are always trying to hold others down at their levels. Get the healthy influences in and around your partner, in this way the unhealthy ones can be revealed.
Unhealthy pride can also play a part in the respect levels within your relationships. Sometimes people are so busy trying to be perfect that they can not admit that they actually make mistakes. Just because you make a mistake it’s not a reason to get down on yourself, we all make mistakes. Sometimes a persons lack of confidence in themselves has more to do with their own pride than anything else. Quit trying to be perfect, you can’t do it, it’s not possible! Accept the fact that you will not always say or do the right things, in doing so you will stop being so hard on yourself, and your overall self confidence will improve. Respect your self even when you miss the mark! It is when you admit your weaknesses that you become strong, being honest with yourself is really quite liberating. Say this right now; I am going to extend myself some grace when I make an error of any kind. Just for your information, I had to check my typing for errors, it seems I had made a few typing mistakes during the writing of this article.
Avoid living your life where you are always trying to gain respect from others, respect your self and show others respect. You will never be able to please everybody, that too is like chasing the wind! Don’t set yourself up for downfalls by trying to be a people pleaser, some people just won’t ever be happy. Guess what? If someone is not happy with you, that is not your problem, it is theirs! You can’t change someone else’s issues by trying to please them. Their issues are within them, not within you. You simply can not respect your self by trying to be someone other than your true self, or by walking in other peoples opinions of you. Walk in the affirmation of Gods love for you. You have enclosed me behind and before, And laid Your hand upon me. (Psalm 139:5). For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:13-14). And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love really is. (Ephesians 3:18 NLT).
Like many things, what you sow is what you reap. If you want respect, show respect through love. Respect is a key component of love within your relationship. To love your spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend you need to be respectful. Don’t think you can’t respect them, it is your choice, there is nothing stopping you from showing some love to others and showing them some respect except for the fact that you choose not to. Love is a choice, and love is not self-centered, we must learn to love others where they are at, not where we want them to be. Also, keep in mind that the way some people act is directly connected to what they have learned over previous years, unhealthy beliefs, misconceptions, etc…
it may take time to re-learn the healthy mannerisms. Extend some grace and have patience.
It is dangerous to be concerned with what others think of you, but if you trust the Lord, you are safe. (Proverbs 29:25 TEV)
Show proper respect to everyone (1 Peter 2:17).
… and the wife must respect her husband (Ephesians 5:33).
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life … (1 Peter 3:7).
But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. (1 Corinthians 11:3).
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