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      Problems In Love Aren’t Always Love Problems

      By Guide

      People often consider themselves to be having love problems when they are struggling in their relationships. However, the problems in love aren't really love problems, they are lack of love problems. Troubled relationships have love missing problems, it's not loves problem, if the love was flowing, there would not be any problems in their love.

      Life is all about learning to love within the context of relationships. The keyword in that sentence being "learning". The learning to love class was not offered at school during childhood, so many of us are learning by way of examples. These examples are set by our parents, by society, and by culture and often lack good direction, as our parents may have been poor examples and society often equates love to sex in order to generate revenues. So the biggest aspect of the so called problems in love are really a lack of love education.

      We have all heard songs about love, the love hurts, broken heart love songs. You see people with shirts that express their pain in some fashion. It's not the love that hurts, it's the lack of love that was missing that caused their pain. Unfortunately for many, it is due to a lack of understanding. Many associate love to being loved, in a singular directional flow. We need to be as graceful in our giving of love, as we are in our receiving. The intentions of love are always giving in nature, love is not set on consuming.

      The problems people have in their love relationships actually stem from love deficiency. The love deficiency problems are associated to their education and upbringing. Think about it, who ever sat you down and taught you what love really is, and how to love? Society often teaches the "all about you" class, but when your life is over, it's not going to be what you consumed and acquired for yourself, it's going to be about the love you gave.

      Love is not just how others make you feel, it's not "I love you because you show me love", that is consuming love from another. Just because someone loves you and does loving things that make you feel the love inside, does not mean that you love them. Loving them would be to give and show love to them through your own outgoing actions. The next time you hear yourself saying he don't love me, or she don't show me love, ask yourself what is the real love problem? When you say something like that, what direction are you focusing on, outgoing or consuming?

      In order for the wheels of love to spin within a relationship, love needs input from both parties. In order to do that, both parties need to have a clear understanding of what love really is. The best definition of love can be found in the bible, in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7; Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. That scripture is a necessary resource for anyone's love education.

      See in the scripture where it says; "It does not demand it's own way"? Other versions say; "it is not self-centered", or "it is not selfish". This key part of the verse teaches us and tells us, that it's not all about us. It also addresses the single biggest problems in love relationships today. Our deficient love problems most often stem from selfishness…. Which in part have to do with rearing and non-existant teaching. If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. (1 Corinthians 13:1).

      Of course there are other areas where people encounter problems in love relationships that are not associated with love. These issues are more about surrounding circumstances that often overwhelm people emotionally, and infect their relationships with turmoil when perspectives or priorities are not in proper alignment. To put it more plainly, your circumstances do not define you or your relationships, not unless you allow them to! The situations will reveal your character and your abilities, but they do not define you. Too many people allow circumstances to overcome them and dictate to them. They become overwhelmed with stuff and allow difficult situations to cause love problems in their relationships. It's a test! How deep is your love? Will you allow the cares of this world to dismantle you and your relationship at the same time?

      We need to keep things in perspective, as stated at the top, life is all about love within the context of relationship. Put the relationship above the problems, above the circumstances and situations. Set the relationship above yourself, above your personal desires, and do what is best for the sake of unity. You are better together, stronger together, and can overcome obstacles better together. Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12). Your problems in love can actually bring you closer together when you learn to face them in cohesion. Instead of blaming the problems on each other, each should look at themselves for deficiency spots, and then choose as a couple to unite and stay united. Don't allow those outside influences, those exterior situations, or annoying circumstances to instigate love problems in your relationship.


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      Topics: Love Quotations | 4 Comments »

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      4 Responses to “Problems In Love Aren’t Always Love Problems”

      1. 1
        Jessica Says:

        Thanks for this post. It was very thorough and informative. It’s so easy to get mixed up in love and not see the whole picture.

      2. 2
        madhur Says:

        hiii…i am in love with a girl,who was used to be my gf before, that time i wasn’t in love with her, i broke up making excuses. then i patched up with her again.but we had lots of fights. then one day i again said that i want to break up because of a fight, but i had fell in love with her this time..but now she says that she doesn’t loves me anymore. but now i want her back. i really love her a lot now…please tell me what should i do…she says me to just be friends. but its very tough to be just friend …i want her back..please help…

        RESPONSE: Do you really want help or do you want help your way? If you really want help you need to first start with yourself. First, you need to learn to control your emotions, do not let your anger get the best of you. When you do that, you are not in control, your anger is in control of you. Emotions; Understanding Anger And Controlling Emotional Responses. Next take the focus off of what you want and focus on building a friendship between you, a friendship where you can work out your objections without fighting at a level of immaturity. And by taking the focus off of what you want, you will learn to love someone else for who they are, not for what you want from them. Love is giving, love sacrifices, love intently looks to meet the needs of others.

      3. 3
        rajesh Says:

        i loved a girl named sujata. our love continued for last five years. now when i was in hospital she said to forget to her as her marriage is fixed and her parents try to blackmail her emotionally now she is avoid me in such a way that she never knows me as i am a stranger to her what should i do how can get back her plz help me i cant leave without her as she is in my soul

        Reply, Sounds like you live in a country that is stuck in some old ways, where the parents think they are doing the right thing for their child’s sake. If you could, without being harmed, I would consider talking with her parents. This is your choice and you must first be aware of issues of your culture and how her parents may respond before you do it.

      4. 4
        Rishu Says:

        I love a girl too much but i don’t know if she loves me or not. sometimes she behaves as she loves me but sometimes as she doesn’t.her name is gunjan. i m of 18 and she is of 14 from age.i belief that true love reached to its goal.i can’t imagine my life without her. what will i do so that she also loves me and how can i know that if she loves me or not? please tell me a way by which i can get my love. please, please, sir reply me as soon as possible. i m waiting for your answer so eagerly.

        RESPONSE: First understand what it means to love, try getting the book called the 5 love languages, read it first.

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