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      Comparing Comparisons Between Yourself & Others, Why Compare?

      By Guide

      Each of us are unique in our own ways, we all have different personalities, talents, gifts, abilities, capabilities, and looks, even down to our fingerprints. We were created to be ourselves, and by being ourselves, to be a blessing to others. However there are times when we may get stuck in comparing ourselves and or our successes because in our core we do not value the essence of our own being. We get too busy looking at what others are doing or comparing what others have and lose site of what we have. This does not only effect us personally, but can also have a significant impact on our relationships.

      There are many people who have not come to the realization of just how much they matter, there is something in them that is yet to be discovered. Sometimes our focal points get stuck looking around and we miss what is built in. We wander around a ring and suppose while the secret is in the middle and knows. There are aspects of us that are fine tuned and predestined to fit a particular mold. Yet, we often become disillusioned because we apply our attention in the wrong directions.

      We are not defined by our capabilities, earnings, accumulations, popularity, mistakes, achievements, cooking, driving, bank accounts, cleanliness, or the approval of others. We are defined at our core by our essence. Which is the choicest, the most essential, and most vital part our being. It's the place where we will discover what our purpose is and what our life is all about. Think about this for a moment; if you are always looking and comparing yourself by seeking outward comparisons or approvals, how are you going to discover the gifts within you? See, sometimes we need to alter our focus and change our own perspectives.

      Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won’t need to compare yourself to anyone else. (Galatians 6:4). Society and secular teaching have a way of driving us away from our own essentials. We are often mislead and programmed to think that more is better or bigger is better. We then may perceive what we have or accomplish as small, (if we allow this deception to direct our lives). When we make comparisons such as these, we set ourselves up for disappointments, because we compare the wrong things in the wrong ways, and lose site of our own life's calling. You are called to champion something in your life, but you will never find it by seeking the approval of others. You can't live your life by attempting to live up to someone else's expectations of you, that includes your parents. Please do not misunderstand here, most parents want what is best for their children, and so they attempt to coach their children out of their love for them. However, there are parents who wrongly try to mold their children to be what they want them to be, rather than what God has called them to be.

      Let your own light shine; No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts it under a bed. Instead, he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light. (Luke 8:16). There is something about you, something in you that others are meant to see and that will attract other people, (puzzle pieces), into your life for reasons that you may not understand yet. There are people who will see positives about you that you may not be aware of, and those positives will fit like a glove in your life's grand design. How are others going to see your light if you are too busy trying to be someone you are not? So pay attention to how you listen, because to the one who has something, more will be given. (Luke 8:18). Look at that, if you consider yourself to have, to be valuable, to be important and significant, you are going to come into increase. The most treasured asset about you is who you are, not who anyone wants to be or how others approve your being. This is not to say that you do not have room to grow and mature, we all have room for that. Life is a continual learning lesson, it's very important for us to gain understanding and insight.

      Comparing yourself to others and or making comparisons to what others have or do will only set you on a misguided path. Your own insecurity will drive you away from your future because you are too concerned with the approval or status of others. You can't go around comparing apples to oranges, you can't make comparisons between your gifts and others and find where you fit in. You need to seek to apply your paint to your life's portrait, (and you can't do that by chasing money, it will also lead you down the wrong path).

      In relationships people often make the same miscues in comparing their relationships with others, or by making partner comparisons. How many times might you have heard a wife make comparisons by saying something like; "I wish my husband would do that"? Each person is different, where one might be lacking in one area, they are stronger in another. You can't go around comparing husbands any more than you can go around making unhealthy comparisons between yourself and others. Besides, if you do that when your husband is present it can be very demeaning, and by doing that you try to set him up to live up to your expectations of him.

      Life is not about competition, although many attempt to make it that way. It's not about your rank, it's about learning to love within the context of relationships. If you always want what other people have you will never be content. When you make comparisons, you give away your power. You will find support in your successes, when you are supporting others in theirs. When it comes right down to it, you source of approval comes from your creator, God. 1 John 4:19; We love, because He first loved us. You need no other source of approval, in fact you will only sell yourself short if you try to acquire approval from any other source. For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well. (Psalm 139:13-14)


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