RESPONSE: A man who really loves you will be willing to wait for a proper marriage. Love requires sacrifice, and if a man is unwilling to wait for sex, then he is focused more on his wants than he is on your needs, that is not love, that is selfishness. The biggest issue occurs when the man gets his wants met, then leaves the woman hanging because he is already getting “his”, or dumps her altogether at some point breaking her heart. This is a real deal that many hurt women could attest to.

Have you ever heard of the 21st century?

Some couples simply can’t afford to live alone, and why should they? For some ridiculous belief otherwise that says it’s going to harm their long term relationship? Please…

If you’re truly right for marriage, a few years living together shouldn’t make the slightest bit of difference. I’m sorry but this article just had me rolling my eyes.

RESPONSE: Who is anybody? I only see your name here? I bet there are many of non-religious women who would call your comments foolishness. Oh, no it is for you too, you of such great wisdom and comprehensive insight. If you only had some data, (information, factor analysis, statistics, & relational database), in which to review before you speak, you would find why that is. Roll your eyes, then tell me you have not taken advantage of any women, and also tell me how after years of living together, YOU, YOURSELF, are happily married today. I mean you are the proof of your own expertise right? Please… You can’t do any of the above, because you rely on misconceptions and your own head knowledge, which is in a significant area of lack.

COMMENT: You seek someones permission, someone to tell you that sin is ok? Do not give the devil a threshold. You are still married until you have become divorced. What sin in your life is causing your divorce?

COMMENT: First please consider the fact that God hates divorce, (what you are calling annulment). Then consider that if you are not single, then you are still married, (because you are not divorced), and if you are still married and have sex outside of the bonds of your marriage, it is to adultery. Adultery is a sin and sex outside the context of marriage is a sin. It is more important to develop a deep bond of friendship than it is to have sex, the foundation of friendship is the most important part of your relationship. Too many people rush in to sex, get married, and then the sex relationship dies off after some time, and so does the rest of the relationship because they did not build their friendship first.

COMMENT: My opinion is that the temptation is too much for either of you and that you should not being living together unless you are married. Ephesians 4:27 says; and give no opportunity to the devil.

But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 1 Corinthians 7:9

COMMENT: You got burned, as many women have, do to their own choices, do not blame the man for your poor choices. You first need to be accountable for your own choices, and you should be determining a mans character in advance so that you will avoid being burned, and from the sounds of what you have said, you were unable to do that. This is why God has given us a handbook for our lives, too bad most people think their way is better…..they always find out differently. If you want to change your outcomes, change the way you think by engaging yourself in the bible. Proverbs 4:7 says; Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.

REPLY: Let us not fool ourselves, temptation comes by location. You may be tempted, but because you are at a restuarant in the public, it would be far less likely than if you were at home. I can not tell you that the bible says not to live together. However the bible says: James 4:7 Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.

Answer: To some level that tends to sound good, it does not sound like he is just after sex, (assuming you are not having sex). However, if you are, then it could be that he gets what he wants physically from you and has no need to commit because his desire is already met. On the other hand, if you are obstaining from sex as a couple, that could be a very precious thing that would be worth the wait. One other thing to think of is that just because you are ready for marriage, it does not mean he is. Whatever you do, do not build a foundation based on sex, keep yourself pure and build a foundation of friendship.

Answer: Love says I want what is best for you, but love would not forcefully attempt to impose that will, (except for children). Love still loves even when there are opposing view points. Love requires us to love people in their imperfections, and that includes the choices they make. And sometimes we have to love them enough to let them learn the hard way. Consider this, and perhaps share it with the sibling; But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:9)