Assuming in communication is misunderstanding waiting to happen. Many couples make assumptions about one another’s thoughts and assuming actions all the time. There are miscommunications in relationships because people assume that things are understood. Just as you shouldn’t make assumptions about people before you get to know them, you should also not be assuming that you have understanding without clarification. If you didn’t say it, it was never heard, and thus it could not be understood.
Assumption is a breaking of communication that we all need to be conscious of to a point of averting. You actually need to assume a position of awareness in order to better communicate. Assuming actions, words, views, and physical looks is something we all will struggle with. Consider the times you have assumed something only to find out that your assumption was inaccurate. Assuming through poor communicating functions leads to a disconnection of information, confusion, and disorder.
Have you ever agreed to do a specific task and it found that it was assumed that you would do more than specified? Have you volunteered yourself for a particular time period only to arrive and find that others have assumed you would be there all day? When people assume things it can be frustrating, and in some cases disrespectful. Have you every volunteered your spouse for something without asking them first? Are you assuming to know how your spouse feels about something without first asking them?
Within relationships assuming opinions, thoughts, ideas, feelings and actions can lead to elevated disruption. In other words it can lead to arguments between couples in which they fight over the wrong things. They miss the most significant reason for the argument to begin with, they assumed they knew what one another was communicating. Now one or both of them won’t assume ownership of their portion of the assumptions, so they fight about the surface issues surrounding the cause of the conflict. The elevated emotional level has now risen to anger, from the primary source of frustration, and the failure to be honest with themselves and their partner.
The best offense is a good defense, so to increase our abilities to prevent our assuming tendencies, we need to be more analytical about our own communicating comprehension and rhetoric. Because we are going to struggle with supposed assumptions we need to be on guard for them. We should make efforts to ask ourselves if we are assuming anything and also consider that our partners might be making inaccurate assumptions as well. If we intend to be more thoughtful about our communicating abilities, we need to be more considerate of each other. The levels of communicating skills will fluctuate between different people, some people communicate better than others.
For improving communication a good suggestion might be to have an assumption check. You will not be able to completely avoid assuming errors, but you can identify and resolve some of them before they become critical. Ask yourself how is your partner perceiving your communications? Attempt to make a habit of checking each others understanding and comprehension. Work at becoming more attentive in your communication. The more a couple works on this together, the better they will be at communicating with one another. Finally, remember that nobody is perfect, give each other allowances, and be forgiving.
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