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      Fixing Your Spouse, Fixing Your Marriage Wife Fixing My Husband

      By Guide

      (If you are in a physically abusive relationship you should seek safe refuge and assistance.) 

      The best way to fix your marriage relationship is not by you trying to fix your spouse. You can not change others or otherwise fix other people. People do not change until they are ready to change. Depending on your situation, you may very well be learning that you need to love them where they are at, not where you want them to be. Too many people are so busy trying to fix their spouses into conforming into their standards, that they forget what it means to love them. Interesting, so who might be the one in need of fixing? Besides that, did you ever get a guarantee with your marriage that said they were perfect? What about you, are you perfect? Do you think you might have some fixing to attend to? All too often couples are so busy finger pointing at one another that they miss the fact that they may need to turn that pointing finger around and point it at themselves. It takes two to tangle, there is not a single relationship on the planet that does not require some character development on both sides. Nobody is ever 100 percent at fault in a problematic marriage. You both have made choices at some stages of the relationship that have gotten you to where you are at, it’s time you took ownership of that.

      We have compassion for those who may be separated and are hopeful towards your desires for reconciliation. It’s imperative though that you have an understanding that if someone reacts with anger towards you, it’s probably
      from a hurt they have, and if they have a hurt, it’s because somewhere inside of them they really care. Sometimes though people don’t want to deal with those hurts, they don’t want to take ownership of the issue or thing that has
      caused them so much grief, and you can not force them to. If you overbear them, you are likely to push them farther away, so be gentle. The more you grasp for it, the more you mess it up. Faith grasps for God, seek Him with all your heart……… if you truly want help fixing your marriage.

      You can not fix your spouse, nor can you try fixing your marriage on your own, seek counsel, get help, obtain wisdom, guidance and understanding. Be humble and be willing to bring yourself into alignment, accept and admit your faults and weaknesses. By your own actions you can be a shining representative example of what needs to be done. Take the lead by showing that you are willing to grow, to compromise, and to make changes in your character. Don’t allow stubborn pride to get in the way of your love. Coming to a threshold and crossing it involves anxiety, don’t let fear get in the way of your future, emergence is on the other side.

      Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life. Proverbs 13:12

      Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost you all you have, get understanding. Proverbs 4:7

      For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

      Fuse this love advice into your relationship.


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      Topics: Marriage Restoration | 5 Comments »

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      5 Responses to “Fixing Your Spouse, Fixing Your Marriage Wife Fixing My Husband”

      1. 1
        Alyssa Says:

        After reading your article, its stirred me. For you see, I am currently looking to change, to evolve, not only for myself but for my boyfriend as well. I had been making him carry the brunt of the load of our relationship. The analogy I used with him was that I had given him the whole load and then threw 50 more straws onto his back. Causing his back to break and his heart to ache. So I was wondering if you had any resources that could assist me in my quest for change and equality. Thank you so much for writing this article!

        Answer: Exceedingly surpassing everything else, the Bible. Secondary, the other articles on this site, and 3 books; From Dream To Destiny, The Love Dare, and The Five Love Languages.

      2. 2
        Brittany Says:

        I just want to say this message, though hard to read, is true. My husband and I split, me splitting first and myself not wanting to have anything to do with him for a month, and now I do want to reconcile things and he doesn’t. I guess i should just back off.

        Answer: Sounds like you have acquired a better appreciation. I would suggest you now pray to God, ask him for wisdom, help, and assistance. Then take ownership of your mistakes, apologize to your husband for them, and ask for forgiveness.

      3. 3
        tiffany Says:

        hi my husband is in the marines and is leaving for iraq friday and all of sudden he dosent want to be with me anymore and we have a son together and just found out we are going to have another what i am to do i love him to death .?

        Answer: Hard to tell what he is going through emotionally, but I think you have the right idea. Let him know you love him, every way you can.

      4. 4
        john Says:

        My wife & I are going through a period that she wants to be seperated because of her anger towards me because I do not use control and display anger verbally. I have sought help and I have been able to see where it has come from and all my wife wants is her “freedom”. She says she doesnt know when and if she will commit to me and I do not want to stand around waiting forever. I think if she cannot decide within a month’s time to make our marriage work, I will go on my way. Do you think this is enough time to decide ?? Her freedom consists of going out to party with friends 4 – 5 times a week while I sit at home every waking moment trying to repair our love.

        Thank you for a great article. It has opened me up and has been exactly what I have been doing to understand where my faults are and I will continue everyday to be a better person.

        Answer: I would suggest that you tell her that you want to reconcile your marriage and that because you value her and the marriage that you would like to go to counseling together. I would suggest you seek biblical counseling in your area, if you value your marriage. Sounds like she argues for her party habits, that is something else that needs to be resolved, but it would be better with a Christian counselor who will help you both get to the root issues within the relationship.

      5. 5
        Elijah Says:

        My mother in law is an evil woman. She influenced my beautiful wife against me. My wife suddenly became extremely abusive and dangerous. I was almost choking in that relationship as my wife and her mother always abuse me. In time, i started being harsh and aggressive and vowed to get them out of my life. We are separated now but i still care for my wife. She asked for forgiveness saying it was her mother that pushed her against me. Because i vowed never to have anything to do with her again, my pride will not let me talk to nor even communicate with her. I think about her everyday but i am afraid that things may not be the same again. What can i do? The relationship was so messed up by lies, extreme verbal abuse, character assassination, low self esteem etc all coming from my wife.

        COMMENT: What you vowed was out of your hurt and anger, your pride is not in the way as much as your pain. You can choose to communicate with her, nobody has your tongue tied except you. I would suggest you both agree to visit a biblical counselor in your area, then humble yourselves and go. Chances are you are going to learn some things that will benefit you both as well as your relationship. Simply, get over yourselves and go.

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