« Good Dating Questions, Pertinent Questions To Ask Your Dates | Showing | The Top Ten Reasons Why I Love You »
Does He Love Me? Does She? Signs He or She Loves You
By Guide
In the representation of feelings towards others, actions really speak louder than words. Often time's people say things that are not backed up by their behavior. Many people will use deceptive tactics that are in their own best interests, in order to achieve their own personal desires. It takes time to get to know someone and more importantly to get a clear view of their character, you can not read a book by it's cover. Take that into consideration the next time you encounter a salesman, especially those who make their income based upon commission. If someone is trying to push you into something that you are not feeling comfortable with, it's generally going to be motivated by selfishness.
What are some of the things you can look for in order to know if someone really cares or has interest in you? In the beginning of a potential relationship you should look for the simple things, like are they attempting to contact you in some fashion? Understand that if someone calls you they had to be thinking of you first in order to initiate the call. The same thing goes with an email, a text message, or even a card in the mail. Hopefully, in this stage, their intent is to get to know you on a friendship level. In the dating stages you should be looking to see if his or her interests are reflective of their behavior. Take your time and determine if they are content with talking to you on the phone, see if he or she truly enjoys and appreciates those kinds of opportunities.
When you are together with someone ascertain if he or she is enjoying being with you, or if they are trying to initiate something beyond spending quality time with you. Remember that there are many people who may find you physically attractive and they may wish to pursue that aspect of a relationship. The physical aspect of a relationship should be reserved for the substantial bonding of marital bliss. Understand that your judgment will be clouded by your emotions if you allow physical intimacy into your relationship foundation. You want a guy or a gal that is enjoying your companionship and fellowship. Get a feeling for his or her desire to associate with you as a buddy or pal. Let go of all those romantic dreams and fantasies until the relationship has matured enough to warrant it.
As time goes along determine by their actions if he or she is looking forward to making contact with you on a daily basis. The more time you spend together in communication and in companionship, the greater your bonding. Determine if he or she is putting off other things in order to make room to spend quality time with you. Are they going out of their way to be with you? Or are you feeling like you have been put on a shelf while he or she is pursuing other interests?
Another thing to look for are the things that he or she may be willing to do for you, as well as the gifts they may give you, (as long as it does not appear that they are trying to buy you). Generally if a guy brings you flowers or other small gifts that is a positive. However if it appears as though he is trying to impress you with his financial wealth in some manner, that might say to proceed with caution. Look for simple things, like are they trying to help you accomplish things that are important to you? If you tell him or her that your car needs washing, do they ask if they can assist you? If he or she did, it would establish a positive intent. If they are going grocery shopping do they ask if they can pick anything up for you? Remember it's the thought that counts, and these kinds of actions may demonstrate an otherness mindset.
Actions are far more likely to demonstrate true intentions than are words, words are cheap. She wants to know, does he love me? Either may want to know when to say I love you and both probably want to hear it. Ladies, if he loves you, let his words be backed up by his actions, let him get you a ring! Don't give yourselves up prematurely, if you do it will cost you significant emotional pain, keep your self respect and your dignity. Guys if she really loves you, she'll say yes when you give her the ring.
We must show love through actions that are sincere, not through mere empty words. 1 John 3:18
Topics: Thoughtful Ideas | 22 Comments »
After reading the love article, do you feel that you have personally benefited by the insight? Do you think you have benefited by a value of at least $5 dollars?
It does cost money to run this web site, your gifts of gratitude would be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance!
October 26th, 2011 at 8:07 pm
I have male male friend which have known him for nearly 22 years and both of us married already. Recently, we keep texting each other & out of blues, I fall for him and confront to him but he advise me to take it slowly because we live in a small country where peoples easily knows. SO now, when i ask him if he doesn’t want me to fall deeper for him, i want him to tell me but he didn’t say anything. I already have informed him that i will let go my feelings towards him cz i don’t want my good relationship ruin due to my stupidness. I know its wrong since i have husband but i cant control it. he is very nice/caring guy which maybe of that i fall for him. Now, my heart hurt & what shall i do now. pls advise. Thanks.
RESPONSE: The water is greener where you water it, not on another pasture. You can control yourself and you should consider the selfishness that is consuming you.
April 12th, 2011 at 7:26 am
Hi Jon,
Nice ideas.. I always read your daily newsletters. I had a friend we were once close to each other and i knew he cared about me because even when he went away abroad for studies he still kept in touch.He always said he cares.we are still separated for 4years now we haven’t seen each other.the communication gets fainter n now he barely call n reply just when i write.except for my birthday anniversary when he willingly sends me a mail…i often ask myself if its because he knows i love him dearly (even though we didnt sleep with each other)he says he cares but hadly writes nor call.anyway i asked him if he wants to guit being good friends, because the writing on the wall is so clear,but he hasn’t responded to that email until now.
I hope i made the right decision by stopping the communication!!
Crystal
RESPONSE: Well one way to prevent communication is by submitting an email address to us that is inaccurate. With regards to your comments, (1st paragraph), I will suggest to you that if someone loves you they will show it in their actions. If a man wants to pursue a relationship he will do so in a manner that should be quite obvious, and attempting to communicate in a regular fashion would be a prerequisite. God has someone for you, and the closer you get to God, the closer you will get to the Godly man God has intended for you.
November 28th, 2010 at 3:31 pm
Well, your article answered my question. For over a year, almost 2, I’ve been with a guy who I thought loved me. I always told him he were my best friend, but he said it weren’t possible for lovers to be friends. He eventually abused me and I had to fight back. Then he willingly, without a ton of thought or effort, moved out and back to the state he moved from to be with me, which is 1900 miles away. That was the only thing he did that showed me (what I thought) was love. He was mean to my 5 year old and blamed my kid for it all. But he never really showed he cared by helping me when i was sick, or taking care of me when I was sore, never really wanted to spend time with me. He spent hours a day on the computer when he wasn’t at work. Then he lost his job and spent even MORE hours on the computer. He claimed it helped him forget about missing his family. Yeah right, he just didn’t care about me. Now that he moved back, we never broke up, but we are trying the long distance thing, again. It’s failing. He never has time for me, never texts, never Calls. He says he’s sorry he has a life, he’s sorry that he can’t help me. He tells me it’s not his problem to deal with and he’s trying to force me to move back East with him, 1900 miles away from my family, the only family my kids know. His family never bothered to come visit his first born son, my (as I’m writing this) 8 month old son. They promised to be there when he was born because it was a scheduled c-section (doctors orders) and they never bothered. I guess it’s time for me to let go and move on. Thanks for the article!
COMMENT: Sadly many men know what they want, sex, but they do not know how to love, even though they think they do. Love does not focus on itself. “I love you” is an EXTERNAL expression, that should be followed up with EXTERNAL actions. Now you too made some mistakes that you need to take ownership of; first and foremost, you should not give yourself away before marriage. If a guy loves you, let him show you in actions with a ring, and the follow through of matrimony. In the future take the time to build a foundation of friendship and keep sex out of the equation until after the wedding.
August 21st, 2010 at 2:11 am
I am trying to find the answer for my personal relationship. I recently wrote a blog on it. My boyfriend cares a lot for me but I am not convinced it is love.
June 12th, 2010 at 2:01 am
Wow! Great article. I now know that she loves me. What she does tells it all. It is really true, words speak louder than words. Thanks!
December 9th, 2009 at 11:41 am
i’ve been in a complicated relationship with this guy for about half a year now. we’ve known each other for 3 years already, but only became close a few months ago. he’s very sweet to me and he does alot of things for me, which led me to believe that he likes me. he would always be around for me when i’m sad, cook for me, take care of me, and whenever we’re in a big group, he will always be by my side and give all his attention to me. as a result, i allowed myself to fall in love with him.
the thing is, a few months passed and while we continued being friends, things started becoming more complicated cos he started to do things like hold my hand and putting his arm around my waist or shoulder when we walk beside each other. i let him do it cos i like him, and i thought it was mutual. but i kept waiting for him to tell me, to say something about how he feels.. and he never did.
in the end, i was tired of waiting. we were in a very ambiguous relationship cos many of our mutual friends thought that we were already a couple since we acted like we were. even i felt like we were in a relationship just that we didnt make it official. so i confronted him one day and asked him what he intended to do about our relationship.
he gave me an answer which really hurt me. he said that while he was sure that he enjoyed being with me and that he feels something special for me, he’s not sure if what he feels for me is love. he said that he’s not ready to commit to a relationship with me cos while he is happy whenever he’s with me, he thinks that a “special spark” is missing in what he feels for me. he said that he used to love this girl some years ago, and even though he has gotten over it now, he claimed that what he felt for her felt like love, cos there was really the “head-over-heels” emotions, whereas for me, he cannot figure out if its love cos it seems to be lacking a “special spark”. yet he continually claims that he really enjoys spending time with me, and there is something special about our interaction, about me, that he does not feel with other girls/people. so he cant decide if its love, and thus is unwilling to make a commitment. (he also admits that this is partially cos he’s a commitment-phobic but also says that if i’m the right girl, he’s definitely willing to make the commitment. the problem is he cant figure out if i’m the right one for him.)
so the conclusion was that he asked me to give him more time to sort his feelings out, and meanwhile we just remain as good friends first. i’m just wondering, should i give him more time? and if so, how much time is considered enough? should we set a deadline, or should i give him as much as time as he requires until he’s ready to make a decision? but if so, wont i be waiting for his answer indefinitely?
to be honest, i was pretty hurt by what he told me, cos i felt that he led me on right from the start. if he wasnt so sweet and nice to me, i wouldnt really have started liking him. but now that i do, i’m worried that i’ll be hurt further if i give him more time, but in the end, he still tells me that he’s not willing to commit and be with me. yet another part of me feels like i should give him/us a chance, especially cos he is honestly very sweet to me (much more than i am to him even though apparently i like him more than he likes me).
i also wonder, can love be nurtured? if love can be slowly developed, then perhaps giving him more time will help him to be sure of his love for me. but if you only have “special feelings”/sparks for the right one and no one else, then it might not be of any use for me to give him more time, since the sparks will not just appear between us as we’ve already known each other for so long? thanks for any help or advice!
COMMENT: His previous “hurt” may have something to do with this. But if he is always right by your side, giving you attention, helping you out, being your friend…….that sounds more like what a relationship should develop from, from friendship, not from romance and sex etc. If he enjoys your companionship and you he, that sounds like something in the making, why do you need to rush love? Love does not insist on it’s own way. It sounds like you may have something precious in developement, something most people miss in their relationships……the joy of true friendship.
October 7th, 2009 at 8:29 pm
hi, well heres my situation…
i am in love with this girl. i know i am. she taught what that love was. but the problem is that she has a boyfriend. her boyfriends is in a different state. he comes down here just on a couple of occasions. and well its been a while and me and her have come closer. and i jut keep falling for her more deeply. and now i am faced with these feelings that i cant deny. and as we drew closer she became like my best friend and she says that i am like her best friend. she really tells me mostly everything. so it we came across it once and i know she has feeling for me too. but she is attached to her boyfriend. she really does love the guy. and well im always here. and im always there for her. and her and her boyfriend have problems…i know.. and i really just want her to be happy and that guy just doesnt seem to be the one to be able to do that. i want her so badly. i dont know what to do. me and her have gone over this… and we always end up as just friends…i want so much more…we really are super close. i feel like she is my girl sometimes but she ..she just isnt and it kills me….im with her all the time… the world tell me that we look like a great couple and ask us how if were going out… we say no…and this is not because ppl say it but because i want it so bad… wat do i do? i am so lost….she really is the only one i want…shes perfect..
Question: What is love?