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The Top 3 Reasons For Marriage Conflicts And Problems
By Guide
Me, Myself, and I ! Those are the top 3 reasons for most marriage issues, problems, and conflicts. Both partners of the relationship need to be on the lookout for their own self-centeredness. Couples tend to become too familiar with their companion, they loose appreciation, and they begin to focus more on their own needs than on their mates needs.
I Love You, An Outward Expression
We fall in love by the way someone touches our heart, by the things they do and say. We then follow that up with saying, "I Love You". In reality, it’s more like "you love what they do for you", or "how they make you feel". It’s the love that they are expressing towards you that you are feeling, and that’s a wonderful thing, to be loved. But love is not a one way street.
So many times though love gets clogged up in the pains and hurts in life. And sometimes we get so stuck in our own emotions, in our own wants and desires that we forget what it means to love. We forget that love is something we
outwardly express by our words and actions towards others, it’s not all about how much love we can consume for ourselves, that’s not love, that’s selfishness. People tend to blame their poor relationships on incompatibility, that’s not
an accurate reference point. The truth is that conflicts are a result of selfishness and stubbornness, that’s what is prevailing in most troubled relationships. Many people today are so focused on what they want that their relationships starve, conflicts arise, and strife fills their homes. If you choose to sow seeds of love into others, you will find that you will receive love as well. Have an otherness mindset.
Everyone needs love, and other than God, we can not get all our emotional needs met by one single source. This is NOT to say that anyone should cheat on their spouses! Love comes in many forms, you can be loved by your family and your friends. You are built to have relationships and you need to have some healthy relationships with people other than your spouse.
If you really love someone and want to resolve issues you will first humble yourself, out of love, and take the initial step. Conflicts are seldomly resolved accidentally, they have to be intentionally dealt with. Where there is conflict there is guilt, where there’s guilt there is fear, and perfect love casts out fear.
Start by making sure that you are seeing the problem correctly, inwardly analyze and outwardly pray for guidance. You may find that there are issues that are within you that you need to take ownership of and accept. Don’t let your pride get in the way of your love. Then look for a good time where you can meet together in peace. When you convene be truthful about your part of the conflict, do not blame one another. Take the focus off of you and listen for their hurts. Keep in mind that people who are hurt, hurt other people. Emphasize understanding and forgiveness, start with their needs ahead of yours, the relationship itself is more important than the issue. First seek to reconcile and after that you can work on the resolutions to the problems.
Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. James 1:19
What leads to strife, discord and feud, and how do conflicts, quarrels and fighting originate among you? The arise from your own selfish and sinful desires that are always at war in side of you. You are jealous and covet what others have… You burn with envy and anger and aren’t able to obtain the gratification you seek, so you fight and war. You don’t have because you don’t ask God. James 4:1-2
Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? First take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend’s eye.
Matthew 7:3-5
For the couples that pray together, Only 1 in 10,000 marriages end in divorce.
But it’s 1 in 2 for those who don’t pray.
Do you really love your spouse? Are you really showing it? To bring restoration to your marriage start by praying together for God to help you reconcile your differences, to help you bring forgiveness into your marriage and to help you love one another.
To increase love in your relationships, review and combine these love advice guidelines into your love relationship.
Topics: Marriage Issues |
June 1st, 2008 at 8:45 pm
The above statements is not always true….I was in a marriage for 26 years that I gave everything in my soul to and it still failed… I found that there are some people no matter how good you are to them, they are just too busy loving themselves to return love in the manner it should be.
-Re: Thank you for your comment, it reiterates why people need to have an otherness mindset in their relationships. I too was once is a relationship where my partner was very selfish, the relationship eventually failed. However, the writing was on the wall in the early stages of the relationship, and I made choices that got myself into that situation. We all make mistakes, sometimes we let our emotions think for our brains. A successful loving relationship is not one sided, both partners need to be looking to meet each others emotional needs, love is not selfish. We can save ourselves a lot of heartache by looking for the right qualities while we are still single. We can choose to close the door on unhealthy relationships before we get to too involved. Sometimes people are just to desperate to find love. When we see selfish character traits, we should be honest with ourselves and move forward before making any rash commitments.
One other question Annette, if you don’t mind answering, did you pray together?
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:08 am
Thanks for this bit of wisdom . I know the truth in it and would love to keep and read daily.
Thanks again
June 2nd, 2008 at 7:18 am
Please send me a letter that i can send to my girl friend. The one “i love you, an outermost expression looks great and matured. I want to show her i love her a great deal in wrting. Please help me and compose one. Thanks Martin
-Re: Let the love flow from your heart, with your words, through your hands, onto the paper.
June 2nd, 2008 at 7:21 am
You guys make me crazy by using ‘interesting’ bible quotations.
It gives me joy a lot. martin
-Re: Then Martin you should find joy in this one…
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; It does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
June 5th, 2008 at 2:12 am
This is my first time in reading your message. i’m so thankful because i learned a lot. i loved in reading bible verses.
It keeps me more inspired though i have stressful work. It’s my pleasure to read some…thanks again & more power.
June 5th, 2008 at 5:37 am
its so sweet to be in love, you will be so happy. the Origin of love is loving the wisest God.
I love this tip, its really beautiful.
thanx
June 13th, 2008 at 11:41 pm
hi,
I am in love for more than 2 years but you know, I really like him and love him so much, but he says he is often busy with his work and he is doing business. So no time to talk with me too…and I really can’t bear this because in the beginning he was not like this, he was actuallly too caring but as days goes he just stopped thinking me now I think so please kindly help me na.. I dont think maybe am possessive but he too should understand it right ????
Re: Please read The right man will say I love you with…
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