Asking your dates pertinent questions will help you to ascertain their character. You need to be able to define if your dates value systems and beliefs are in congruency. In healthy dating you are looking for agreeing qualities that are suitable and appropriate for a significant relationship foundation. You are not dating to find someone who is perfect, you are dating to find someone who is perfect for you. This brings up the question, "Is it ok to date more than one person at a time"? The answer to that is absolutely! However, keep in mind that the mannerisms in which you treat your dates will reflect your own interests. In other words, it is by your own actions that you will display your intentions, (whether or not your intentions are meaningful). If you are showing that you are available, then you are showing interest. But to the contrary, if you are seemingly not available very much, it might tell your potential dates that you are dating others.
Many people like to feel like you are focusing on them, and some who feel this way are still dating others, regardless of their own inhibition. What's good for the goose is good for the gander. This following advice is healthy guidance for all your relationships, treat those you are dating as you would like to be treated. You want kindness, sow kindness, you want respect, show respect. As you distinguish the questions that you would like to ask your dates, keep in mind that you don't want to emerge as a drill sergeant. The opportunities to ask your dates questions will present themselves at the right times, so remember to be yourself and have some fun. Below are some suggested questions to ask your dates, as well as some insights as to why those questions are being suggested. You might like to paraphrase these ten dating questions in other manners as per your needs.
1. Are you legally single?
This significant dating question is designed for your own protection, above all things guard your heart. You can not marry someone who is not single. You don't want to end up being someone's second fiddle, avoid that hurt. If someone is separated or going through a divorce they are not single, they are married. This question can open the door to other relational questions such as, have you been married? How long were you married? How long have you been single? Do you still communicate with your former spouse? Is that communication difficult? If so, why do you feel that is?
2. What do you like to do for fun, what do you enjoy?
Here you are looking for some commonalities in which you may share in. However, it is possible that the question may disclose some quality character traits or those that are deficient. For example, you may not find bar hopping and getting drunk as a fun idea. In fact, you may find that contrary to a healthy dating environment.
3. What's your family life like?
This question is formed for a multifaceted response capability where you may include other questions, based upon the answers that you receive. Your dates may come from various cultures, backgrounds, and upbringings, you may be able determine some core values that were instilled in their upbringing.
4. Do you feel that you are an honest person?
Most people believe that they are honest, but the true test of their honesty will come by their willingness to be real with you. If your dates pretend to have no blemishes or imperfections, then they are not being honest with themselves, (nobody is perfect, we all have shortcomings). To be honest with others, you must first be honest with yourself and with God.
5. What kind of relationship are you looking for?
The question regarding honesty above is suggested as a prerequisite to this question. You want to initiate truthfulness first, so that you may acquire a qualifying response to this question. Some people really don't know what they are looking for, they are just looking. If your date knows what is entailed in a significant relationship, they will be more likely to speak of those qualities. Vague responses such as, "I am just looking to have some fun'", may suggest that your dates like to play around.
6. Are you a forgiving person?
People who have not forgiven hurts from the past carry those pains along with them into the present. Bitterness is contagious and it's poisonous. Someone who carries pains like this will bring those old pains into their new relationships and poison the new relationships with old unforgiven hurts. Most people will probably answer yes to this question, sometimes things are revealed to us in ways we did not expect. A person who loves overlooks the mistakes of others, they give allowances for imperfections, love forgives all offenses.
7. How do you know when you have forgiven?
The answer to this question may contradict their answer to the last question, if that is the case it's actually good for you, and it can be for them, (if you help them). If they do not know the answer then they may be carrying some pains from the past and right now you can help them realize it. So if they did not know the answer please supply it to them, it will help them to let the hurts go. You know that you have forgiven when you stop talking about the thing or person that you feel caused you the pain.
8. What do you feel the purpose of life is?
Chances are that you will receive a large array of answers to this question and some of them might be pretty good. Just know that we are all here to learn to love, if we miss that, then we have missed the most important aspect of life.
9. How important is your success and your productivity to you?
This is a pretty tough question, so if you use this one you may want to leave room for some mercy. Life is not about successes or how productive someone is. A persons level of success does not define them, a person is defined by their essence. What will matter the most when life is done is how we loved the people we have had relationships with. Careers and materialism will not matter, but the love we shared will last forever.
10. Do you know God?
Again, it is suggested that the honesty question be posed prior to this one. To know God is to know love, for God is love, the source of love is God. How can one have, appreciate, or know how to express meaningful love unless they know the source of love? How can one believe in love and not believe in God? Beloved let us love one another, for love is from God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 1 John 4:7-8 (This question may be followed by questions like; What church do you go to?)
Within the answers to the above dating questions you will have a set of commonalities, relational abilities, values, and belief systems. This is initially the red light, green light area from which to move away from, or to proceed dating. It's up to you to determine a healthy foundation for a meaningful life long relationship, in your own best interests, be honest with yourself.
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