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      Healthy Love Advice Unlocking The Barriers To Love

      By Guide

      Have you ever felt hurt because some group of people or someone rejected you? I think we all have had to face rejection at numerous points in our lives and initially it’s not a emotionally pleasant feeling. Are you aware that many people reject you out of their own pain? It’s because they see something in you that in some manner touches them at the core of their being. You may not have had the slightest clue why they responded to you in the mannerism in which they did, but it was actually something good in you that made them respond to you in that repudiative manner. Have you ever considered that those points of rejection were actually advantageous to you? Sometimes we need to step back and take a look through a wide angle lens, at least in our thoughts. Is it possible that you may still be carrying some pain yourself from a rejection that was actually in your favor? This is one reason is it good not to allow yourself to be taken by your emotions. It would be better to just understand, that often times, we are where we are to benefit others in some way that we are not aware of, and that there is something better ahead of us.

      Sometimes we cause our own pain by our own misguided perceptions. We get some expectation for ourselves and when others fail our expectations, we get hurt. Wouldn’t it be easier to just pinch ourselves? Now you are wondering what does this have to do with love. Well initially if we are not so focused on our wants and desires we are likely to avoid being the cause our own suffering. But we are also able to see how we are being used to effect the lives of others in a positive manner, this is where love is outwardly flowing from us. From this viewpoint we are able to see how we are being used to love others, how a purpose is being fulfilled to help, (to love), someone else and that is a great feeling! When we realize that we are impacting the lives of others in a method that is best for them, it becomes a fulfilling experience for us. The more seeds of love we plant into the lives of others, the greater the harvest we are going to have.

      To open the doors for which love can flow from us, we need to know where those doors are within us. Unlocking our own love barriers will help us to experience love in it’s truest form. By looking at the diagram you can see the areas in which love must press through in order to flow externally from us.

      Love must push through, envy, revenge, anger, guilt feelings and shame, hurts and pains, and finally fear to outwardly stream from us. We can see that we may be carrying unnecessary obstructions to ourselves and to our relationships with others. This is more than great love advice, it’s a key to your overall health.

      Sometimes the area labeled I want to get even may actually mean, "I will show them", so it’s not necessarily a revenge type issue, it could be an envy issue. If you are harboring any of these feelings within you it will require some self introspection to find their sources, but also some knowledge of where these emotions stem from. By reading the article on anger you will understand that anger is not a primary emotion and you will discover what the sources of anger actually are. Sometimes we are feeling guilty or shameful about things we did not even do or we are needlessly carrying guilt feelings for things that God says are already over. In more careful examination of this flow diagram, we are able to clearly define that there is one prerequisite of love that will help us to open the gates inside us so that love can flow. That prerequisite is forgiveness. We need to forgive others for the pains we feel they have caused us, but we also need to be forgiving towards ourselves. Forgiveness will set us free from many of our own love constraints. You will know when you have forgiven, when you are no longer talking about the thing or person that you feel caused you the pain.

      That leaves us with fear, we are all human and we all have had unhealthy fear experiences in our lives. Those fears have adhered themselves at a level below our conscious awareness. Initially, rather than allowing the fear to take control of you, feel the fear and let it pass through. Repeat this for future brain access, feel the fear and let it pass through. In fear you will have the feeling of apprehension, increased heart rate, and then the behavioral response to fear, which is usually fight or flight. Disconnect the components of fear, resist the behavioral response to fear. Don’t let it rule you, let it pass through you. Allowing fear to take root inside you may allow doubt, worry, anxiety, stress, confusion, and even depression to set up camp within you. Avoid allowing those things to take up residence in your head or in your heart. Learn to let your negative emotions take you where you want to go, not where they want to take you. Persistence plus fear equals courage. Process your pain in a method that will work for you.

      There is no fear in love (dread does not exist) but full-grown (complete) love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror! For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and (so) he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love (is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection). —1 John 4:18

      Some portions of this article have been repeated for healthy thought processes. Please take the time to read the greatest love advice ever, it will bless you!


      Topics: Healthy Relationships | 3 Comments »

      After reading the love article, do you feel that you have personally benefited by the insight? Do you think you have benefited by a value of at least $5 dollars? It does cost money to run this web site, your gifts of gratitude would be greatly appreciated. Give until it feels good, Thank you for being a blessing!

      3 Responses to “Healthy Love Advice Unlocking The Barriers To Love”

      1. Beatrice Says:
        May 5th, 2009 at 6:41 am

        Oh thanks so much for making my day! It is as if you were reading mind. God is so good to me. He really does not want me to have pains. I have been what you wrote about for a long time. Always praying that those (loved ones and relatives) who do not recognize my love for them. But you really made my day and gave me change of mind which sincerely floods me with peace. Again, thanks a lot.

        Answer: It is dangerous to be concerned with what other people think of you. (Proverbs 29:25). You can not live up to peoples expectations and expect to have a healthy heart and mindset. Play for an audience of 1, play your song for your Heavenly Father 🙂

      2. Rudy Says:
        May 11th, 2009 at 10:44 am

        It’s been a big hindrance to push love through so many things I denied myself were there. Most guys have it for granted and move on so I thought It was normal to live in denial and find good vibes some place else. Being confrontational at this sounds crazy, but to learn what It takes to be on the right spot is lots of hard work of confronting myself…It’s always easier to run away…but It’s the worst damage we do to ourselves when we do it. Thanks for all the input, It’s awesome.

      3. angela Says:
        April 26th, 2014 at 1:43 am

        What if one is living a lie in a marriage because one does not want to tell her children one made a mistake right from the beginning for security reasons?

        REPLY Then one made a mistake, but even so that mistake has ramifications and responsibilities. Furthermore, you say for security reasons, does that mean you made a choice to USE this guy to pay your way? Your intentions sound pretty self-centered, remember the vows you spoke at your wedding? You are called to love, and love is a choice, just like the choice you made to get married for security reasons.

        A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. (John 13:34)

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